I wonder how prevalent this (the delicate art of living in the same house as your X), practise has become.
I can totally see it, as two people move apart as years go by..and the costs associated with it, breaking up property...- ya gotta live somewhere after all,, Living as roommates..why not?
Discretion and courtesy would be the key to the transition

this doesn't sound very smart... after all, yall broke up for a reason/reasons

ya I have heard about this couple times

heard all the excuses as to why they are separated but not divorced
and really are not even seperated since they are still in same house


most of time this is because one of them has decided it is time to see other people and convinces the other one to do this also


but yet neither want to go thru the pain in azz fun time of splitting up the assets and putting house on market and hiring an attorney

I was seriously thinking of doing just that....but in the end...wisdom prevailed.. So I just gave everything away...and walked....Never looked back...just saying....

I know someone who moved in with woman and her two kids

about six or seven years ago
he works, she works and they pay bills together on a house she would not be able to afford


he is not happy and has not been for a long time
sleeps on couch most of time
not because he snores
but because he wants to..

but yet when questioned as to why he stays
he says she would lose the house and have to move someplace smaller
if he left

It's mathematically imposible. The emotional connection makes one or the other wonder why they are resorting to such strange behavior.
What's to stop someone from just getting a fresh roomate? Food for thought.

It is all excuses.
And I don't buy the " Ex " thing either.

That is kind of like people who say,
" my fiance ", & it is an engagement over a year... Yea. That will happen. .. Very rarely

uhm no
i would not want to see someone swapping spit with my x
nor the other things that go on
its like hey you didnt hurt me enough let me keep stabbing myself with a knife
<face palm>

pass

i still talk to most of my x's
when they contact me
<shrug>

Uh . . . a food allergy?

I think it's pretty prevalent.

Especially the older someone gets as the number of people they can trust to move in and share expenses dwindles since they spent so much of their life on their relationship, and kids, and career, rather than developing new deep trusting friendships with single people.

Even more so due to the economy, or at least it was the last time I tried online dating.

I've run into people living with their parents more often, though.


Personally, I've only ever run into it:
- when one person lost their job, that created too much stress on the relationship, but without a job they couldn't afford to move out.
- they bought a house together, relationship failed, would lose too much money if they sold the house, needed both to maintain the mortgage until market came back or could afford to refinance or one could buy out the other.
- they had kids together, ex moved in as a live in nanny type father thing.

And only once did I date a woman who was living with 2 ex's.
One they had the place together, the 2nd moved in as a "roommate" as everyone had lost their job and one started a new business.

It's always been the guy was there and didn't leave.
I haven't really run into anyone, at least from what they've said, that was all "I wanted a roommate, so I asked my ex to move in," or, "I couldn't afford my rent, so I asked my ex to move in."



I haven't had roommates since college 20 years ago.
Holy crap, interviewing "fresh" people to move in.

"Oh no, I don't smoke!" 2 months later "I meant cigarettes! I get high constantly, sorry about the cloud but did you realize a state trooper lives downstairs? Plus if I don't open the windows the high is better."

"Oh, hey, sorry about your old pot head roommate. Don't worry I'm not that type of person...oh by the way, I'm late on my rent because I'm moving out tomorrow, I already talked to the landlord and he let me out of the lease, so...see ya!"

"Oh yeah, that guy just disappearing on you so bad. Sorry. Oh, I didn't tell you I was a nudist and I, tee hee, sleepwalk at night and look for someone to cuddle with? ...Is that like a problem or something?"

Fresh roommates suck. They always look great on paper, pass background checks, and then the weird and flaky and illegal stuff comes out.

If I ever dated someone and they said "Yeah, I moved back in with my parents. I couldn't afford my own place anymore. I could've gotten a roommate, but I would have to have advertised for one. No way I was doing that." I would have nothing but respect for them.

Well..two! can live cheaper than one.. on a strictly economic level.. it makes sense for newly separated couples to remain together under the same roof..
. Especially if they have children..
Crunch the numbers...$1600..×2. For the average 3 bedroom apartment.
Add utilities.. cable phone power heat.. lets say 350..×2.. add food.. whoever has the children full time is going to have a higher food bill.. but lets say on average $400 each household... 250 for incidentals..2600.ea..×2=5200..per month. . Not including car, gas insurance, Medical.. clothing.. then there is the first and last months rent damage deposit..on average $7,500 to furnish apartment.. because whoever moves out is going to need furniture..lol.. so yes staying together for the first little while makes financial sense... now if you .. are discreet and sensitive to your ex partners feelings. . You both keep your dating lifes to yourself... and perhaps being together teaches you how to be good friends better people to each other.. how to be supportive of each other... but for this to work it requires both parties to have a certain level of maturity.. a firm grasp on the situation... personally !!..if you can afford to move out then you should move out... but that is not always the case for everyone.. like someone once.. said.. judge not lest ye be judged ourselves.. yup..lol

i suppose it's possible for some to live that way...

now for some others, they may be lookin' at numbers too
like maybe, ...twenty five to life...

I had to do that with my 2nd ex as I was waiting for my council house. 9 months still living together.
I don't recommend it, it's very difficult.

The thing is ... you don't a say in anything anymore, as you split up. Technically my ex could've thrown me out of his house any time he'd wanted to do so.
So I basically had to agree with everything he did, said or wanted... Not easy!

If you both own the place, it's slightly different, but not necessarily easier.
Was in that scenario with my first, my ex husband. We decided it was best he'd leave. Otherwise things would've gotten sticky and complicated, which would have affected everyone in a bad way, esp our kids.
As he didn't have a house just like that, he temporarily moved in with his uncle.
And yes, we had to sell our house. Neither had the money to buy the other half. So after half a year, we were both in the situation of finding a new place to live. He on his own, me with two kids.
But still ... the best choice. No way should you stay together for any length of time. That way neither can get over the divorce (nor can the kids, too confusing) and neither can get on with their lives (new lovers, dates). Think about taking a date home while your ex is there
.
.
.

Exactly ... if money is so tight and if places over there are so expensive, you should easily be able to find another roommate.

I think many ppl are afraid of actually severing ties, and fear change, and prefer to remain stuck in the same old same old, even when it doesn't make them happy.

habit is a habit even if it is a bad one

I can see the arrangement being acceptable for a time to get the finances in order..a plan..but after a couple years, I would think that one of the parties would get tired of it..
you know, ya meet someone, want to spend more time with them, but X roommate is cramping your style, lol ...

Exactly!
Plus ... the way I work... when I have come to the conclusion that I want out of a relationship, I want it done with, over and out, schluss.
When I've reached that point, there's no going back either. I don't make such decisions overnight, horrible & long process, during which I've given him plenty of 2nd chances.
But ... when it's done, it's really done. For good. And I typically want him gone. That very moment. I really can't bear to have him around me anymore.
So I don't really care what it takes to achieve that, as long as it is achieved. And there's always a solution when you want to find it.

Living with my X; would be like living an aimless life. Cause whatever had made him or her your 'X' is best letting the sleepy dog lies by staying away from such dramatic nonsense.