**NEXT** When I Was Using other Dating Sites

I had a good chuckle with the woman I've been dating the past 18 months about all the profiles we both collectively read online before we started dating. We were driving around one weekend and I came up with my list of instant NEXT PROFILE PLEASE reactions. I thought I'd post mine rather than leave it locked in my brain.

1. Anything that has you in a photo with a stuffed animal or Winnie the Pooh shirt, sheets, sweatshirt. I'm sorry but the fact you still have attachments to things an 8 year old girl does is not at all attractive. That you advertise it as who you are is truly scary.

2. Born Again Christian. Okay, let's be clear here. I am a Christian. I do not make it my primary identity. I am not preachy and every woman I've ever met that said "It's just part of who I am." before we met ended up asking me by the end of dinner something like "Have you found Christ?". UGH! Religion is personal. When I saw this in an ad I couldn't hit next fast enough.

3. Picutres of your kids, if you have them. Okay, let's be realistic. There are many single moms/dads on dating sites. We know that, we accept that. However there are things women need to consider. This is the internet. This is where child predators come to play. This is where they can get to know mom/dad and gain his/her trust in order to get to his/her kids. Besides, you're an adult and have made the conscious decision to put your picture out there for all to see. I'm willing to bet your kids did not. Besides, they're kids, act like a responsible mother and keep them safe.

4. Group pictures. You know I've always wondered why women/men do this. It's hard to make you out in the crowd sometimes, sometimes it's not if you had a individual photo. However, and guys don't tell me this isn't true, we look at these most times and a common reaction is "Who's the cute one next to you."

5. The drunken bar scene cell phone photo. Okay yeah, you had on a hat, some beads, it was New Year's and you remember it being so much fun, it probably was. I think of all the women/men that could barely walk out the door yet fell into bed with someone then either did a Coyote Ugly or had one done to them the next morning. Right or wrong I just think insta one night stand and he/she won't call the next day(s).

6. Headline or first two sentences that include "Friends first.". It's the most horrible online dating cliche ever. There are guys/women who aren't immediately trying to get into your pants for the sake of getting into your pants. The fact that you don't know this pretty much shows that you've made horrible judgements early on in relationship, hopped into the sack one too many times too early and figure that if you put this claim in guys won't think you're easy. The reality is the smart ones know you've been easy and just regret it.

7. The picture with "a guy"/"girl". If she/he's within 10 years of you age wise the first thing that comes to mind is "Did he/she do him?". With Plenty of Fish, the reaction to this is NEXT PROFILE PLEASE!

8. I like long walks on the beach, candle lit, fireplaces.... Yeah okay cliche factory, next.

9. Stand alone pictures of your pet. Really, sure, you love it. I'm sure it's a nice pet. Is anyone going to look at it and say "Wow, nice cat! I gotta reply!".

10. The gratuitous boob shot. Great, you have them. Grats on your blessings from God. Guess what kind of guy/ you're going to attract? Guess what kind of woman guys think you are when you post them. The topper is always the sentence or phrase that includes "Comments about my chest are not appreciated." well WTF are we supposed to comment on when you've shoved them in our face so to speak? Cover them up, be modest, or don't display them like neon lights if you don't want the comments.

lol there is much truth here. I don't have kids, so the child shot one would have never even occured to me, but now I'm gonna be like "omg take those down!" to all my friends haha.

And yah, I'm a Christian too so this is gonna sound odd, but I've always found #2 annoying even so. There's a place and time for everything.

My peeve is when men state they like sex. Duh! I didn't think you'd be on a dating site to remain celibate.