I am sitting tired and frustrated wonder where the hell I went wrong with my kids. I can't get them to help me around th ehouse or anywhere. The oldest wont get a job and hold it. They don't seem to think they need to work or do anything in life! I am disabiled and need somehelp, but they don't seem to care in the least! It truly hurts me that they do not seem to care. I do not even get gifts from them on my bday, hoildays, not even christmas! I really went wrong somehow in raising these kids. I never meant to raise selfish, uncaring, lazy kids. my heart is broken. They are 17,17, 14 and 5. Does anyone else have this issue?

not yet but I would definitely make the 5 yr old get a job ... I mean what is up with that 5 yrs old and wont work...LOL

I havent run into that problem with my kids yet. But I can tell you that the first time they get out of line they better be grown and out of my house.

They are not too old for consequences. When my son was less than enthusiastic about getting a job I told him he had a week and then he was losing his car. He had a job the next day.

I HAVE 3 CHILDREN 2 BOYS & A GIRL 21,18,16....THE TWO OLDEST WORK EVERYDAY PLUS THE 18 YR OLD STILL GOES TO SCHOOL,THE 16 YR OLD WILL GET A JOB IN THE SUMMER NEXT YR, HER GRADES NEED TO IMPROVE FIRST

BUT MY CHILDREN HAVE ALWAYS HAD TO EARN WHAT THEY WANTED
EXAMPLE:WANTS TO GO TO THE MALL...ROOMS HAD TO BE CLEAN
I DONT JUST LET THEM DO AS THEY PLEASE..NEVER HAVE NEVER WILL
IF THE CHORES ARE NOT DONE THEY DONT GO ITS THAT SIMPLE

ALL 3 KNOW HOW TO CLEAN,COOK,DO LAUNDRY......I MAY SOUND STRICT TO SOME BUT THEY WILL NEVER HAVE TO DEPEND ON SOMEONE ELSE TO DO IT FOR THEM

I don't think you are too strict. Children need boundaries and consequesnces. We are not meant to be their friend.

i am extremely lucky-- i have three kids and i have always said i could not make it with another group of kids. my kids are wonderful. my daughter wrote about how awesome i was and how being a single parent i do like it was nothing...she does not understand that they make it very easy for me. they are like my best friends!!

that's one thing i have learned the hard way..my child who is almost 4 is a handful and i feel really guilty being strict with him because he had a really hard time with my divorce..there is a part of me that wants to baby and spoil him, but i know i don't need to, especially since he gets that from my exes parents..they let him do whatever he wants and buy him whatever he wants..being a parent can be really hard sometimes...don't beat yourself up over it though.

Well mine are only 4 and 6. So I will have to get back to you on this one! Although they do help me with dishes almost everyday and cooking too. I can't wait when they can help w/ more.......being a single parent is really tough and we all just do the best that we can...

wow this is very helpful having people to talk to. I should try it more often! Ya when I go tout tonight I get to take all the phones and all the keys. So they can't drive or talk on the phone. I grounded my oldest son from everything today. Then he got on the phone, so I disconneted the phone, while he wa son it! I just about my day saying nothing to him about it. A little taste of his own medicine. Ya my friend tonight is gonna laff when he sees all the keys and phones! lol

my 23 yr old still lives here with me but he works and helps with the bills,
he has held a job since he was 16,
my two girls 22 and 20 started working when they were 14 (dishwashing and bussing tables at some of my old jobs) and held jobs all the time our rules were once you start working you cant stop.
my 22 yr old holds down two jobs tight now
I started them early and they new they had better work if they wanted anything in life
you just may have to use that tough love thing if they wont help show them the door if they are over 18 and if they are not then give them a list of things they must do before they get to do anything they want to do for fun it will be hard but if you stick with it you will survive this and so will they
good luck