Can someone so deeply hurt really Get over a heartbreak? How can you tell and what can you do to help?
I figured people here at the forum have more experience. Just curious.

Remember that in the end you're the most important person in your life. Do the things you love, don't love yourself just for loving someone else.

Don't dwell too much on a heartbreak because if you do you'll just end up torturing yourself even more. Just get over it and move on. Remember that TIME heals all wounds.

I'm not heartbroken. It's just someone i met. How can you tell he's over his ex?

He just came out from a really long and serious relationship. They broke up 5 months ago and now he's saying he's already moved on. Is it that easy to get over someone you really loved?

Depends on how it ended more than how long ago it ended. If he caught her cheating and he was aware beforehand, then just decided to walk away he could be over it. If he got blindsided having no idea she was cheating or she dropped him like a ton of bricks he may be in shock and reality hasn't set in on him yet.
Worst thing you could do is naggingly inquire before he's willing to talk about it. Bringing it up every time your mind wanders could be like putting salt in the wounds.
It's okay to ask if the time and setting is right but constantly picking at the subject could reopen the wounds and make him and you miserable.
If you like him and want a relationship with him put more emphasis on that.

Right i'll just quit asking him about it. I like him so i'll just risk it and see how it goes. Tnx!

Say **** u all and be happy
Think now ur good days are coming
See the beauty of nature see ur face in mirror and makes friend who have good thinking (positive thinking)

When i look at you, i see your beauty and grace and i know they have grown stronger with every life that you lived and i know i have spent every life before this one searching for you. Not someone like you, but you.

In my opinion some people never gets over there ex specially when it was "Long and serious relationship" I'm saying this because I was hurt pretty bad by my ex-fiance, we still friends but even 3 yrs later we still have feelings for each other.

I try not to talk about the past with him but sometimes is hard to avoid the subject...I wish you luck and try to understand him, you never know you might be able to help him to forget about her.

That's what I'm worried about too which is why I'm kinda hesitant at first...actually till now. I'll just see how it goes.

5 months could seem a lifetime for someone with a broken heart. He is trying to move on. But be careful that he might just be on a rebound. Rebound relationships don't last because once he is back on his feet, he will move on. And then what about you? You will be the one left with a broken heart.

Anyway, how long was the serious relationship? When my husband of 26 years died, it took me three years to come out of a deep dark hole.

So tread carefully.

If he got over her within five months, then I would be willing to bet he really didn't love her as much as he "thought" he did. If you really love someone, then you need time to get over them. Some it takes years....others it can take a lifetime. Oh they will move on, but they will never truly be over that person.

Some can some can't.
Those that can't usually die.

If you don't die, you can get over it.
Assuming you want to.
Some people love to manipulate themselves into being perpetual victims though.
That way nothing is ever really their fault.
They never have to change.
They never have to accept risk.
They always have a buffer between themselves and getting hurt forever.

If you don't chase them and help them, then it's your fault for not trying hard enough, so you must not love them.
If you don't love them, then that means what they lost was real love.
Which means it's right and good and justified that they feel bad or aren't over it.

It's easy to fall into a cycle.

Some people want that.
It's easier than trying, or facing fears, or making decisions, or taking responsibility, or accepting vulnerability.


You learn basic communication skills and pay attention to what they're communicating.


Depends on who you are to them.
If you're their friend or family, you should kinda know because you just continue your normal relationship with them, leaving off the kid gloves which turn the relationship weird and awkward.

If you're trying to date them and form a relationship you don't try to help them unless that's the type of relationship you want to have with them. You being their caregiver, therapist, making it all about them, for the entirety of the relationship.


Why? At best there is only evidence that forum people have experience with bloviating.


If you've already established a deep relationship (best friend/family) you see normal behavior.
You use your communication skills inherent to your relationship.

If you don't know him all that well, you don't know he's over his ex.
He could be hiding it. Or he could have always been over his ex, only bringing out "I'm not over my ex!" whenever it's a convenient way to get out of, or avoid, something.


Could be he's not over her but wants to hide his insecurity.

Could be he's over her but he just doesn't want anything serious.
So he nails you then says "Oh, wow, you know what? I thought I was, but really I'm not, over my ex. So sorry, thanks for the sex, but...yeah, I really don't think I can handle anything serious right now. I guess I'm still healing my broken heart. It's not you, it's me.
...maybe you could wear a nurses uniform when I start calling you at 2 am for booty calls? Oh my heart, Imma so sad, please validate me, if you leave you are just like her and bad, if you stay you can't ask anything serious from me."

Could be he never loved her. He just wants you to believe he is capable so you'll stick around.

Could be he's exaggerating the relationship to try and make him look better, more experienced, more deep, more emotionally mature, than he really is.

So is could be easy to get over someone you really loved, or it could be a million other things.



There's a reason why people tend to avoid "damaged goods."

Hi

All you said actually crossed my mind. Still gauging if he's worth investing time and feelings. Thanks for the lengthy analysis of my dilemma.

They've been together for 5 years. Concerned with the rebound thing too