Not out of context of the relationship.
As that's when it's usually given, in mind of everything that's gone on before.


The more you try to preplan the relationship the more likely it is going to fail.
All you're doing is building up expectations.
Including the ones you think she is going to have.
Putting thoughts, feelings, in her head that may not be there, rather than listening to the things that are actually there.

No one can live up to that.

So "always love you" is the best promise you can say if at the time, based on your interaction, your relationship, you feel you can live up to what you are saying.

Why do we feel this compulsion to make promises to our mates? Is it some kind of foul-proof aphrodisiac to secure a regular stream of blissful, but mis-guided sex?

For the people who are actually sincere about executing the WORK of love ( and yes, love is work); Why can't we just profess our love to our mate , if that is our truth, and then strive to back it up with our actions long-term, if things work out that way.

I have gotten enough love promises in my 40 years to keep Hallmark in business for the next 80 years, but what do I have to show for it?

Are promises the ultimate proof of someone's love? ... or is the truth in ACTIONS, which are nurturing/protective/sacrificial over a long and consistent period of time?

And do we truly even love our mate if all we know or accept about them is the BEST of what we see in them? How deep does that river of love run after we have seen the worst in them? Isn't that the real testament of love?

Your first sentence about compulsion and making promises.

I never do

I thought this topic was a bit strange.

Would anyone actually sit there and say 'I promise you I'll always do this, I promise you I'll never do that.

I don't even recall doing that kind of stuff when I was 14

Oh, but please do.,,,

Love me today...
Love me tomorrow...
Love me everyday...
Love me always...
Love me forever...

What a nice thought.

For me it would be difficult to promise to do much of anything "always" because I have seen enough people change into people one would not even recognize.

I can say "I love you" to some one I feel those feelings for; once they develop and enjoy giving that gift of affection. I think it is important to do that for the person you care deeply for because it enriches the giver and the receiver.

I believe humans need that affirmation. I have seen people wilt with out it even when they appear to have every "thing" a person could want.

But it just not seem anything but cruel to set yourself up or the other person up making a promise that can be easily broken by so many interpretations.

I long ago learned the hard way (as many of us do) that when someone promises you forever, all they are really saying, is that they feel very intensely positive about you right NOW.

Love especially, isn't under the control of the person who feels it, or the person who is loved. You can decide what to do about it, but not to feel it. Not to have it.

I understand why you think as you do, OP, and I'm not being critical. It would be a very valuable thing indeed, if it were possible to do as you try to promise you will. It would be very comforting if a person could really believe it, and really experience it. So I agree with the value you place on it, and with how it does symbolize the epitome of giving to you.

It's just that all that anyone can actually DO, with appropriate work and nonstop effort, is to make sure to always deal HONORABLY with whomever you care for.

So I guess what I would promise, is that I will always show HONOR to the people I care about in my life.

I agree with this 100%

How can "always love you" be the best promise when you yourself don't even know how you're going to feel next week, next month, next year, in a decade, or tomorrow even?
Total BS.
Unless you're a time traveller and actually went to the future and came back so you can tell that you still loved them X years from now, you cannot say "I will always love you".

And actually ... always is beyond death ... always doesn't end when you die, so kind of a tricky statement. Dang, I gotta remember that so that whenever I meet the next Mr Fairy I don't s(rew up.

agree

not to mention the fact that the word 'love' means different things to different people

you might think it means never ending affection and exclusive emotional attachment

the other person might think it means
' I am fond of you'

and will use this word all the time
such as
' I love this movie'
' I loved that sandwich from that restaurant'
' I love this pair of socks'

Crap! just dont make any promises you cannot keep. The whole point of making a promise is lost if ya break it.....just say..I love ya long time......just saying...

I don't promise something that's impossible to keep.

"Love you" has many meanings depending on situation. It can mean "I care for you", "I can die for you", "I will have a soft corner for you",etc, etc. So when I say "Always love you" I am covering pretty much all situations and no matter what happens, I will always have her in my memories and a soft corner for her. Don`t you have a soft corner for you ex when he needs help or comes to you?
Hence I feel I will be able to fulfill this promise.

I don't necessarily have a soft corner for my exes. I don't hate them, get along with them if I happen to meet them somewhere, but that's it.

I still don't really see how "always love you" is the best promise. Also kind of makes me wonder to whom such a promise holds value, and to be honest I think it is you yourself. Someone once said that love is something you yourself generate, so if you'd split up, would it really make a difference to the other person if you keep loving or stop loving them?
So I'm thinking that such a promise "I will always love you" means a lot to you, not necessarily to the other party.

Anyway, I'm going to have a nice drink :)