if i was to die before i wake,
let it be known.
i've lost so many things.
shedd too many tears.
i'm just wasting my life using drugs.
doing it as my daily motivation.
but now i see everybody looking at me,
as if i was a druggy.
mom cought me smoking weed in the garage,
but never told my dad.
if he would of found out,
he wipe me with his leather belt.
wouldn't stop until i bleed from my matha****ing mouth.
it's hard to watch as my life just fly by.
so many things that i could of done right.
but i just choose not to take the time to understand it.
now i feel like i've lost it all.

i feel greed in my system.
stole from my family.
i got what i deserve,
but if its true you learn from your mistakes.
i would never be in the situation i would be in right now.
i feel like i don't deserve to live,
but that just me.
stole over a thousand from my mom.
500 from my older sister.
over 100 from my brothers.
took my nephus birthday money just for weed.
no doult that they knew it was me.
smelt like it for almost over aweek.
now that i think of it.
it hurts me deeply.
i'm more likely to go to hell.
done plenty of deadly sins.
but still i fight to gain my lords trust.
i don't know how to live anymore.
USA trying to kick me out.
i'm pushing my limit,
but they're just sitting there and watching me **** up.

had so many dreams,
but never gone an tried to acheive it.
now i write it all down.
just like a poet.
this life time isn't my time yet.
let me wake up from this terraible dream.
i know its life but i don't want all this drama.
lots of backstabbing going on.
people talking **** behind eachothers back.
what have this world turned in to?
i hope you can tell me before death himself shows its face.
to be honest with yalls.
i don't want to have to pick friends over family.
nor my girl over my bestfriend.
don't tell me anymore bad news.
i just don't want to hear it.
might scarr me for life.

had me a fine ass lady,
but our loyalty just wasn't right.
held too many secterets inside me,
but never had the guts to tell her.
i wonder how she be doing from time to time.
to scared to call her.
to scared to even talk to her.
once lost all's lost.
well that's what my reviews show me.
will i ever feel that same love with someone else?
or is true love is just a once in a life time thing?
for some reason i fear love,
but i should only fear one.


if you see me in a casket,
besure to leave me them flowers.
followed by maroon flags.
let me give yalls my poems and song.
so you know how my life was like.
alot of pain and suffering.
not to mention i was a outlaw loko blood.
khmer pride is what i had.
alot people knew about it,
but most just didn't look at me like that.
still there was love and respect.
i gave and got back.
besure you know how that works.
don't let your oppertunity go to waste.
i was sure everything i did was right,
but at the end of it all,
it was just holding me back

WOW!!!!!!!! thats really deep. expressing you inner feelings out that good, my daughter wrote poerty when she was younger and i still have some of what she wrote.. and she has the rest in a booklet

I lived it my friend, for many years. I know your pain. I learned passion and desire can give you all you will ever need. A passion for life, a desire to make a difference. My kids saved me, and if you don't have any, maybe join "big brothers". In helping someone else you will find you help yourself.

Thanks for sharing