Well...I keep getting told it is the woman who chooses the man and not the man who chooses the woman for a relationship. Bollocks I say. It is a two way street.
What say you Minglers?

I plead a fifth.

Well Ladywind, you say bollocks, I assume you mean a load of bollocks (bad thing) as oppose to the dogs bollocks (good thing)

I'm a gambling man by nature.....so I naturally go for it whenever I feel compelled to gamble.

IMHO - I think it IS the woman who chooses the man.
I mean, a man can choose, pick, whatever - but if the woman is not into it, then its a no go..
generally, there is nothing a man can say, do, provide, whatever, which will change the mind of woman who has made her mind up... again, IMHO..

good for you, and so you should, cause, well, ya never know.

Exactamundo! So what if I get shot down? Take the lickin and keep on tickin.

I say woman chooses the man for a relationship.
Woman choosing the man for a relationship doesn't guarantee a relationship.
It only gives the guy the opportunity to figure out if he really wants a relationship with her.

Men compete to be chosen by women, women compete to keep their choice.

It's not equal with everyone starting from the same position with the same viewpoint or perspective, two people looking to the future relationship together getting over the same hurdles at the same time with the same feelings "bollocks," that so many people want it to be, and it will never be that way.

It's not a two way street, it's an ocean of different kinds of ships sailing their own wind and/or paddling with their own oars where a bunch pass in the night and some figure out over the course of a few miles or leagues and communication problems if they want to or can sail in kind of the same direction together for a while, eventually tying off with each other, helping each other avoid icebergs and pirates and sharing resources to prevent scurvy and any treasure they find, offering shelter to the little rowboat that sometimes pops out and grows into a titanic money suck that's eventually going to find its own wind.

Two way street implies equivalent exchange in an environment that is static, ruled, structured, and built solely for the point of easy travel.
In no way are relationships like two way streets IMO.

women are the gatekeepers of sex, so any relationship meant to include sex is controlled by them.
So yes, from that aspect it is her choice.

once he takes the Bugatti keys out of his pockets... he has the power to change her resounding "NO" into a sobbing "yy-y-yess please"

ya know last time I saw my brother
he is 48 and been divorced 7 years now

he said something to me
said he never really chose any of the women he has ever been with in his life

said he really just waited for a woman to show interest in him
if she was good looking he usually ended up getting into a relationship with her

I just looked at him
he said " don't ya think that is true for most people"

I raised an eyebrow and said " hell no"

One smart brother you have there, and wise for his age too...

After all the hype and fanfare has died down, this is as accurate of a comment, you are ever gonna get. Coming from a woman, only adds to the truth about said topic. Need for women telling it like it is..... Just saying x

On one end of the spectrum is the primal, & dogmatic social tradition, on the other end is the free spirit.

There are those who choose to believe that the process of connecting with a mate is a competition, strictly determined by "natural selection". The females role is to bat her eyelashes while the males role is to puff his chest, strut, and try to be more dominant than the others vying for her attention.

Me, I seek a connection that starts with mutual attraction to each others true self. A relationship that develops through the discovery of nuanced compatibility.

Everyone on this site needs help.

^^^ LOL

I always thought it was more mutual or a hit and miss...chemistry.
If it IS the woman I need to make better choices

Honestly I think it is a mutual thing... Someone catches your eye, so you pay a bit more attention. Then if they are interested they pay a bit more attention then.... the fun of learning about each other begins to find out if you want to spend more time together.

I don't think either one actually does the choosing.
I am shooting for Mutual.

Here is all you need to know. Bake a pie, put it in the middle of an octagon, have about twenty guys fight it out over it....and the winner is the one you want to date.

I have no idea. I find men confusing. Why can't they say what they want up front?
Why do they have to beat around the bush?

JUST TELL ME!

Nope it is the guy.

A lot of times the woman thinks she is deciding and controlling him with sex but time has a way of evening up the score. Eventually age kicks in and the gal that over rated her arse finds out it is not that much a draw anymore.

Especially when the novelty wears off and or she gets fat and then just about anything that is thinner or easier to get along with can beat her time. The only things that saves many is it is cheaper to keep her. Doesn't mean he gives a hang about her just that he has gotten used to tolerating her or learned how easy it is to just ignore her and live parallel lives.

Why do you think so many of the gals end up with two or three kids before the get the guys down the aisle now days? Why buy a cow when so much milk is free?