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| Topic: Lets talk about leaving home. | |
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Edited by
Ladywind7
on
Mon 11/23/15 03:03 AM
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My baby is leaving the nest at 17 to go flatting. Ugh, I am petrified for her. Even though it was my suggestion, do you think 17 is too young? How old were your children when they left home and how did you deal with it?
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My first son was 20, when he left, We told him the door was always open but he had to start to fend for himself. He struggled at bit but did o.k... and we were there to help him.Now he is established and on his own. But it was hard for us to do.. on the same token necessary. I feel that they need to learn how to " swim" We would be there to make sure he didn't go under.. but he had to learn to make it out there.
My other son didn't give us the opportunity, 2 weeks after 9-11, he just turned 19. I came home from work to the Marine Corp. recruiter sitting at my kitchen table. All I said was, " this is the way its going to be,Joe?".. I got a " yes, Dad" He served 8 years, met a wonderful woman, married and they are on their own. But to answer your question, yes it was difficult because you do not know if the timing is right. just go with your instance and be there to help or give advice.. if needed.. and asked for. |
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we tried talking our oldest son into staying home after he graduated high school and driving to the community college..he lasted one year
hahaha..he was so ready to spread those wings and needed a little distance between him and his dad at that time he moved an hour away to a four year college and then He married his high school sweetheart and he is now working full time taking care of wife and baby and she is going to school |
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"Lets talk about leaving home."
Sure, I would love to leave home, but my son keeps telling me that I can't. |
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I was going to post somthing like what David said ^^^^^
My 2 children are 25 and 23....I am the one who wants to run away from home. 
Naw, seriously though...it WILL be difficult when each of them leave, but I WANT them to leave and be their own person. My late husband and I shared the same goals with raising our children. To raise them to be independent and confident adults. They haven't left home only because after He died, we simply needed each other to get thru the grief. Now, they are finally making true plans on moving out on their own. One is finishing up with schooling and the other is well established in a good/steady job. I DO HOPE that I don't get hysterical when the last one IS gone and the house is absolutely QUIET! 
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"Lets talk about leaving home." Sure, I would love to leave home, but my son keeps telling me that I can't.
children arent one size fits all, they are basically going to follow a certain pattern of development, but some do develop emotionally and intellectually much faster than others just have faith that you raise them with solid values and common sense and they should be alright,,,,even at 17, which is only one year away from what the 'law' will call an adult,,, I left at 18, my son just moved away for work at 23, and my daughter has told me repeatedly she will not be leaving me until she is 100,,,lol |
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My baby is leaving the nest at 17 to go flatting. Ugh, I am petrified for her. Even though it was my suggestion, do you think 17 is too young? How old were your children when they left home and how did you deal with it? Each of my two boys could not wait to leave home once they graduated from high school. they couldn't wait to stretch their wings and fly, as living away from home had sooo much attraction.. Each was gone from the nest for a year (that's how long the lease was) and each returned home for a couple months before leaving again.. One came back 3 times, the other one, just once. They've been gone now for quite a few years and won't be back, as they are on their feet now.. Its what we parents do.. |
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I was going to post somthing like what David said ^^^^^
My 2 children are 25 and 23....I am the one who wants to run away from home.
Naw, seriously though...it WILL be difficult when each of them leave, but I WANT them to leave and be their own person. My late husband and I shared the same goals with raising our children. To raise them to be independent and confident adults. They haven't left home only because after He died, we simply needed each other to get thru the grief. Now, they are finally making true plans on moving out on their own. One is finishing up with schooling and the other is well established in a good/steady job. I DO HOPE that I don't get hysterical when the last one IS gone and the house is absolutely QUIET!
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I think 17 is a little young and I'd be worried too.
My son is 20 and still at home, although he's looking for a place now. |
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I was going to post somthing like what David said ^^^^^
My 2 children are 25 and 23....I am the one who wants to run away from home.
Naw, seriously though...it WILL be difficult when each of them leave, but I WANT them to leave and be their own person. My late husband and I shared the same goals with raising our children. To raise them to be independent and confident adults. They haven't left home only because after He died, we simply needed each other to get thru the grief. Now, they are finally making true plans on moving out on their own. One is finishing up with schooling and the other is well established in a good/steady job. I DO HOPE that I don't get hysterical when the last one IS gone and the house is absolutely QUIET!
I am thinking more along the lines of dogs 
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My 27 left home at 18 to go to collage. She is married and have a son. She is at uni to become a social worker
20 left home just after her 19 and doesn't want to come back. Lol she's boarding at her Aunt's. Loves it and works hard at her job. 19 he is still at home. He's works 7 days a week. He's not leaving so this summer I'm moving to where there is work. He will get in flatmates and rent the home. Next year he is going to uni to train as a nurse so he can be a medic in the army. At first I was sad but you kids grow up and life changes. I look at it Its time to have fun and do things on my bucket list. Hey your only this age once. |
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I plan on buying cats
I have some cat recipes that you can try. |
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My baby is leaving the nest at 17 to go flatting. Ugh, I am petrified for her. Even though it was my suggestion, do you think 17 is too young? How old were your children when they left home and how did you deal with it? Each of my two boys could not wait to leave home once they graduated from high school. they couldn't wait to stretch their wings and fly, as living away from home had sooo much attraction.. Each was gone from the nest for a year (that's how long the lease was) and each returned home for a couple months before leaving again.. One came back 3 times, the other one, just once. They've been gone now for quite a few years and won't be back, as they are on their feet now.. Its what we parents do.. [/quote It is what we do as parents. They stumble.. you steady them.. they fall.. you pick them up.. then at some point they leave... and in your heart you know they are not coming home again. It is bitter sweet. But I found that they still stay in contact a lot and still ask for advise or just stop over to BS or watch a ball game. One of the hardest things for me was to teach myself stop telling them what to do and start suggesting things or options.. that was hard for me. |
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I grew up with a really strong rather militant yet short mother who ruled the roost but she had to...she had three kids and went back to college in the 70's and got her degree with all of us along for the ride..
so she had a hard time not telling us what to do even after we left home my mother in law on the other hand? that woman was aces hands down.. she had four kids. My ex husband being her eldest son and when we got married back in 91 and then had our son the next year she was always very good at giving us advice but not issuing orders.. " I appreciate that you love me enough to come to me with this dilemma and I will do my best to help you sort out the options but what you choose to do will be what is best for you and your family" I loved that woman and I try to do the same now with my married son and daughter in law |
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Hey thanks for all the responses Minglers. I appreciate the support as we move in to this new transition. I guess the upcoming year will be revealing as to her coping mechanisms, with Mum the lioness by her side.
She also has an amazing Godfather who will be there for her too 
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Edited by
Ladywind7
on
Tue 11/24/15 02:12 AM
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My baby is leaving the nest at 17 to go flatting. Ugh, I am petrified for her. Even though it was my suggestion, do you think 17 is too young? How old were your children when they left home and how did you deal with it? Each of my two boys could not wait to leave home once they graduated from high school. they couldn't wait to stretch their wings and fly, as living away from home had sooo much attraction.. Each was gone from the nest for a year (that's how long the lease was) and each returned home for a couple months before leaving again.. One came back 3 times, the other one, just once. They've been gone now for quite a few years and won't be back, as they are on their feet now.. Its what we parents do.. It is what we do as parents. They stumble.. you steady them.. they fall.. you pick them up.. then at some point they leave... and in your heart you know they are not coming home again. It is bitter sweet. But I found that they still stay in contact a lot and still ask for advise or just stop over to BS or watch a ball game. One of the hardest things for me was to teach myself stop telling them what to do and start suggesting things or options.. that was hard for me. Yes, I catch myself "telling/teaching" and I have to relearn how to communicate all over again. We are trialling it. I want to be living with adults now, getting a flatmate @_@. How I miss the adult conversations. Mingle is great for that :) |
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