Theres a thing about a less-stressed man.

We won't let those little irritations thru
We won't yell at you
We won't Lie to you
We don't let the b~astards wear us down.

When you need a chill
We are there.

We will hold you close and reassure you
Your troubles will melt away.

When your life is too hectic
Our solid stance will give you strength.

Money woes and old foes will not defeat us.

The trick is to uderstand that nobody is more important than yourself because without yourself there is nothing else.

I go back to my guidelines:

Guideline #34 Don't rely on anyone else for your happiness or self-worth

Guideline #35 Don't allow other people's opinions to define or bring
you down

Wisdom

You would be surprised at how many people can't understand that.

When someone asks if I am happy I say "Happiness comes and goes, I am content"

Surprisingly, people are befuddled at that.

Thankfully my mom and dad didn't feel that way.
Pshew.
I woulda been a dumpster baby for sure assuming I wasn't just donkey punched to death to make sure my moms life wasn't in any kind of potential medical jeopardy.


Without relying on other people...how do you know if you have an inflated or inadequate sense of self worth.
Either extreme can easily drive people away.
Sitting around too long alone with a high or low opinion of yourself tends to lead to a lot of emotional and maybe mental problems.

You don't know if your assessment of your own self worth is realistic unless you rely on other people for feedback to determine what it should be in order to function effectively in a social world.


So never listen to any philosopher, psychiatrist, doctor, country western song, role model, icon, or parents?

It'd be better to listen to other people's opinions and then determine whether or not you should define yourself by them or against them, prove them right, or wrong, or just dismiss them.
e.g. "you're a good person because you're always giving of yourself."
"You're a bad person because you keep stealing and drowning peoples cats."
"You're an a-hole that should kill yourself because you wrote something on the internet I disagree with."

You should learn to be able to place peoples opinions in a hierarchy of relevance. Those that know you, you know, and you trust, should be pretty high on the list of opinions by which offer the best feedback by which to define yourself, and how you are defining yourself.

Guilt and bringing yourself down shouldn't be ignored.
All emotions have relevance. Positive and negative.
They all have their purpose and uses.
Over indulgence of them can be bad, and using the opinions of others as an excuse to over indulge in emotional masturbation can be bad.

Without relying on other people...how do you know if you have an inflated or inadequate sense of self worth.
Either extreme can easily drive people away.
Sitting around too long alone with a high or low opinion of yourself tends to lead to a lot of emotional and maybe mental problems.

You don't know if your assessment of your own self worth is realistic unless you rely on other people for feedback to determine what it should be in order to function effectively in a social world.

I have been through therapy...I have had PTSD and depression...I meditate and have guidelines to keep me centered and grounded.

I am the first to admit that mistakes happen, and that I will listen to feedback and opinions in order to improve myself. As I realize that I am not perfect, but I strive to be a better person.

In reality it is up to me as to what changes are necessary hence:
Guideline #8 Accept who you are both good and bad, and make the
changes necessary to improve yourself

Whether alone or not I can find happiness and make my life better while working to achieve my goals.



So never listen to any philosopher, psychiatrist, doctor, country western song, role model, icon, or parents?

It'd be better to listen to other people's opinions and then determine whether or not you should define yourself by them or against them, prove them right, or wrong, or just dismiss them.
e.g. "you're a good person because you're always giving of yourself."
"You're a bad person because you keep stealing and drowning peoples cats."
"You're an a-hole that should kill yourself because you wrote something on the internet I disagree with."

You should learn to be able to place peoples opinions in a hierarchy of relevance. Those that know you, you know, and you trust, should be pretty high on the list of opinions by which offer the best feedback by which to define yourself, and how you are defining yourself.

Guilt and bringing yourself down shouldn't be ignored.
All emotions have relevance. Positive and negative.
They all have their purpose and uses.
Over indulgence of them can be bad, and using the opinions of others as an excuse to over indulge in emotional masturbation can be bad.



I know that I am a good person! We each have traveled our own path in life, and have encountered different hurdles and trials in life. Each person that has and still works toward their goals is impressive and admirable. While I may admire what you have overcome, and I will listen to you experience and knowledge. I may even incorporate your lessons into my future, but I will not define myself based on another person, because your experiences might be similar but they will definitely be different.

It really is just an opinion based on personal experiences. The old saying rings true...until you have walked a mile in my shoes and I have walked a mile in your shoes, people should treat each other with respect because we do not know what the other person has experienced in their life.

Considering that nobody is more important to me than myself it doesn't matter what others think of me. They either like me as I am or don't.



That comment would hold meaning if I was still an infant. But I am a grown up now. My parents are both long dead.


No, the point is... Not to allow others insecurities and self-hatred to define who you are.

People in general are miserable and self-loathing. Many will do or say anything that will make their misery seem less than yours. If they can make you more miserable than them, they feel they have won something.

As an adult you should be able to define yourself to your own standards no matter what others tell you. You control your destiny. Its when you don't control it is when there is issue.


Me too.
I learned to think for myself and stop letting others tell me what I need or want. I learned that I am not a bad person and that others don't have my best personal interests in mind when they criticize me.
Only I know what if best for me. If I make a mistake, that is how I learn.


And, they are not meant to be everlasting. Its okay to be angry but if there is nothing you can actually do about it there is no point in staying mad. That's why its called madness.
Happiness comes and goes but contentment is a standard. Being content with life allows your emotions to ebb and flow.
Worry is creating stress over something you have no control over.
Age brings experience and experience is wisdom.

Thanks for your reply and support!

I was hoping that someone understood that guidelines are only a way to keep myself grounded and on the right track to achieve my goals.

They are not for everyone, they are flexible, and I have changed several of them as my life has evolved.

I am not perfect, I am always growing and learning, with self improvement as my main focus.

I simply share them in hopes that they help others realize that life is difficult but it can be beautiful and improved if you continue to grow!

I'll come back when you chaps have stopped being stressed out with the less-stressed-man thing