Ok. If you were married and your wife said to you that they really cared about you and wanted to stay with you, but wanted to be with a woman too, in a completely separate relationship that involved sex, what would you feel? I saw a woman post this and couldn't believe it. Her husband was ok with it. The only reason I would see some men would be good about it is if they thought they could be involved in a "3way", or that they fell out of love with their wife and didn't care, or maybe they are already having an affair. This woman even said they wanted the woman to live in the house. What do the men here think about that?

pass
but i am a single female type of man
i would ask for a divorce if that happened to me

I would help her pack, and wish her well.

Gnomie don't share.

If it was a sexual fantasy that she always wanted and confided in me about it I would consider it, but as far as anything with feelings, and shows of affection, or living with us then no way in hell would I go for that.I am looking for a relationship with just a single female, and want to focus on a one person true love kinda thing.

WOW. My first response is to say that if I was married, I'd be saying "Adios darlin', don't let the door hit ya on the way out!". A promise is a promise, after all.

BUT, as I've gotten older, & seen some of the things that life throws at people, I guess I've gotten (fractionally) better at "seeing grays". I know one couple that love each other deeply, but the sex just isn't there any more (and yes, *that* was a mess that I didn't want to get pulled into... ). What do you do in that case? Do you walk away from someone you love, or abandon your sex life?

I probably still wouldn't tolerate it in my own relationship, but I've started to realize that there's usually a LOT of things I don't know about peoples' situations. (And yes, I know that's probably an unsatisfactory answer...)

Sometimes people think they want something, and once they have it, it's not like they thought it would be. I would not pass judgment on the scenario, I just wouldn't want it for myself.

I would feel annoyed.

Because either I never knew she was bi or lesbian and she kept this self from me our entire relationship including being married, something has drastically changed in her life and is catching me completely unawares and we're growing apart signaling the end of the marriage, or she reassured me before we got married that this scenario wasn't going to happen but now it has so she had to bring it up this way.

There's nothing positive about this scenario.

So, I'd be annoyed.


Or the thought of getting a divorce, failing in marriage, and losing someone that's a normal and possibly cherished part of your life should be avoided at any cost.

Not to mention, was this new?
Or did his wife do this to him 10 years ago and he's still okay with it?

If he always knew this about her, then he knew what he married.

If it's new, I can understand his predicament.
If he's not okay with it, then he's the a-hole homophobic bigot that doesn't accept or love his wife and it's really his fault the marriage ends because he can't accept her for who she is, which she's still discovering.

So, either be okay with it and stay married and figure out what's going on, or don't be okay with it and be the bad guy.

It would be a completely different story if she was out banging other chicks and then came back and told him.
Then he'd be justified in judging her and leaving her for cheating, but if she's coming to him and talking about it, then he's the ahole if he isn't understanding.

The only way he can win anything is if he tries to accept it and rationalizes it as a positive.


Nothing positive.

Wh@res

I am gonna flip this around and if my man wanted to have just a "sexual relationship" with the same sex it would be later days. I would be at the divorce Attorney's so fast his head would swim.

Since I posted this, if the tables were turned and I were married or in an exclusive relationship, and then he told me he wanted to be dating men, but still wanted to be with me? I would feel that I was not enough of a woman and something was wrong with me. I wouldn't want to be with him anymore and I would kind of be reluctant to get into another relationship. I just happened to see these posts from near where I live, and it got me thinking.

It's still cheating on your spouse.

I would put their stuff on on the porch and change the door locks!

Oh baby... I would love to marry you then///

Spouse bf, gf, significant other w/e i agree. The problem with these open relationships even if it's one partner with the same sex is just like any relationship, things and people change over time. If it's just sex with one woman today there is no guarantee that it won't evolve into 2 against 1 at home, a different woman, more than one woman, a woman and her man, who knows?
The excuses for the large number of these homewreckings, I mean relationships, are growing just as fast too
Its just a girl thing, it's just for fun, it's not cheating if you don't love them, if you're straight it doesn't count, he/she just wants to control you, I wouldn't do anything to jeopardize your relationship (except give your man a hummer while you're at work).
Somebody if not all 3 or however many participants ALWAYS get jealous. It's undeniable. You don't think you care until someone crosses a line they never knew (or did know) they weren't supposed to. After that things are never the same.
Can't have your cake and eat it too. Whor€s...

Oh Honey, it would NOT be YOU or your fault. DAMN why do women blame themselves for what men do? Programing?

Lots of American men are living 'on the DL " (down low). More than woman realize or want to believe.
But that is HOW Aids reached epidemic proportions in the ..unlikely group.. White, Middle class, surburb house wives over 40.
They weren't playing around.. Most of their husbands were & alot of them are Bi Sexual (but in denial of course.... )

Seems that polyamorous relationships are becoming more frequent as I also see more people looking to add others to their relationships.

That television show my 5 wives was an example of a polyamorous situation, but I never did understand how the women were so accepting, and it is past me how the man could handle and afford 5 different families.

I would have found an attorney if my significant other ever asked to include or date others, as I just can't see how the relationship would last with doubts and uncertainty in the loyalty to our relationship. (Darn that seems wordy..hope it made sense)

I would say no way but maybe I'm just old fashioned.... I'm a 1 woman man!

Would we get to watch?

For me, there is a really simple answer. "If this is what you want, go get it. But without me." I don't share too well when it comes to my woman. Other things, maybe. But not my woman. Most men who do this, especially if it's bringing in another woman, it's just sex. He is getting a chance to sex two women at a time. If it's bringing in another man, he either wants to watch her get pounded by another man. Because he gets off on it. Or, he has gay tendencies. His door swings both ways.