Hey this is my first post and i know it'll probably get very many views. I'm 19 yes i know thats young but i act older then i am. so i was seeing this guy and i basically fell hard for him. i thought i had finally found the guy who was different the guy who i could talk to. thing was he was just startin to go through a divorce. as a result he stopped talkin to me blah blah you know that basic to busy for you stuff.told me to be somewhere to meet him wouldn't show up.. dealt with that for almost 2 months. yes i had seen him face to face no it wasn't a online relationship i wouldn't have let it bother me if that was the case.he told me i was a queen made me feel like i was on top of the world. he made me happy.well i had to take a step back and look at how it was affecting me and why it was wrong to put myself through it while he went through the divorce. i caan't seem to wanna let go anyone wanna lend me some advice i'd appreciate it thanks.

You probably have so-dependency issues. You should take time to work through who you are and what you want in life, (possibly with professional assistance) befor you engage in relationships of a serious nature. You are 19; the things you want and look for in a man will change 20 times in as many years. Chalk it up to a learning experience, and always practice safe sex.

It's always best to not get involved with someone who is in a divorce. They might like talking to you for a little while, but a divorce is a whole lot of drama. It's a shame he just stopped talking to you, that is not fair at all. He should have just told you he could not really get serious with you now until he has put that divorce behind him and is ready to move on again.

My advice (or that which passes for such) is worth exactly what you paid for it, but as a rule, I stay away from anyone going through a divorce. I've never been through one myself (thankfully) but I know that friends that have are in no place emotionally to start something new. That he made you feel good is not a bad thing but going through a divorce would seem to be a huge emotional anchor of sorts and probably doesn't lend itself well to starting up something new--at least not while the divorce process is in-progress.

That stated--good luck to you and I hope that you come out of this stronger and wiser than you went in.

-Drew

That must of been tough, but try focusing on your self. Do what makes you happy. Things like these take time. Ofcourse you're not gonna forget some one overnight.

if he cared about you and wanted to be with you he would be no ifs ands or buts or divorce find someone who will treat you better you deserve it.dont believe the excuses

{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}chevy,

That must hurt I'm sure. At first blush I'd say divorcing or not...if he was truly interested in pursuing a relationship with you he would tell you so.

Either 1 he is too caught up in his OWN current drama to be distracted by anyone else.

2. He's not that interested as exhibited by the "no shows" etc.

3. At the very least he lacks good communication skills EG: "I am interested however, I need to focus on my current circumstances right now and need my space." or at the very least the courage to tell you upfront his priorities do not include you.

Bottom line.... "are any of the senerios above something you want to involve yourself with? If yes, thats probably not a healthy way of thinking and you may want to do a bit of self examination. If not, move on and find someone ho likes you as much as they like and respect themselves and will be honest and responsible regarding you, your feelings and a mutual relationship. Good luck and be good to yourself.

its hard for me to find someone nice.. if anyone whos readin this can help haha.

Join the club chevy...

i didn't think it was supposed to be this hard its ridiculous. what happened to ld fashion guys?

That's sound advice, that Gams's given...take heed.

Gams...my children love the pic of the faerie tree.

you asked whatever happened to old fashioned guys..well alot of us are old.. ..im old..

Good Luck chevy,It will get even harder.I have been looking for a long time.Never give up hope,if you believe it will happen eventually it will.There are some of us left.Not sure about the boyz these days though?

yeah boys these days are weird haha

Well, I've run into a lot of nice people on this site. Now if only they weren't all 897,000 miles away!

Darlin times change but people are still people and developeing relationship skills takes time, experience, luck, and a tough skin. You probably learned a good lesson. You can't date the "walking wounded and not get blood on you". Sounds like maybe he wasn't a complete jerk and maybe he was trying to give you the ditch and you just didn't clue in. Live and learn and certainly don't get down on yourself for not winning in a loose loose situation.
You are going to hate hearing this but 20 is not even dry behind the ears yet. Don't be so hard on yourself. Rome wasn't built in a day. Go out and have some fun. Develope your skills. Dateing and finding a mate is about playing the numbers. Write yourself and up- beat profile. Take a friendly smileing photograph and check it regularly for people with potential. KoJack wrote a great post for newbies that should be required reading but there are others. Hugs. Grandma Joy

he may be telling you exactly what you want to hear
does that mean it is true?
not necessarily

he will get out of the relationship, but he still needs time to deal with the divorce

you are a bit young to put your life on hold for a guy you may not end up with.

Move on..
it will hurt, you will heal...
but honestly
you deserve better

Hope it works out for you

Naivety comes to mind but then you are 19 and I don’t really care if you are mature for your age you are still 19 and expected of you to fall into something like this and all that came with it. You will be fine, just toughen, and know it this tosser was only after some booty.

The guy is a user, he got what he want from a young woman like you and that is not love. Yes, he made you feel you are loved but that is his way of getting into your pants or try and get into your pants.

Some older guys probably think they are on the top of the world if they can score from a young woman. It makes them manly and the poor naïve 19year old thinks wow he loves her. Fresh meat…something to brag to his mates or to prove to himself that he can get it from someone your age group. You are too good for that tosser!

Dump him and go find yourself another guy.