why is it so hard for a men to give me a chance i may not be beautiful or thin but still i wish a man can give me that chance to get to know me an not for my looks but for my personality

if you would like a man to get to know you then I suggest you take a new pic of yourself where you do not look so forlorn and depressed


it's about self confidence little sister

first ya gotta love yourself

welcome to mingle
best wishes on your search

while TMOMMY gave you some wonderful tips I am going to expand a bit more.

I think for most of us we are drawn to people that are happy and content with themselves because that is what they project in this world. I have friend that I have known and loved for over 30 years.. When we go out and both are single.. She is a guy magnet.. She is also very morbidly obese.. What is her draw the sunshine and confidences she just freaking glows..

First of all you need to realize that you are beautiful. What is beauty really and honestly? Everyone is going to have a different definition.
Realize that you are beautiful and you are an awesome person continually put tht out into the world. What a person projects into the universe is what a person attracts

Wishing you all the best

Well, i am approaching this from a "Rate my profile" perspective.
As i have little time, i have to do it short, telegram style.


23 still lives at home.
No Boy wants to come round your house and then be introduced to about 20 people before he can get some solo time with you.

In fact, there is no solo time with you, except at his place when your family is not around...
and your family will not let you spend the night at his place, right?
Ye.

Does not work, takes care of Grandma
"what is she doing with her life?? I want no part in that!"

"am i worth a chance"
--> not a shred of self confidence

howaboutyouseparateyourwordsinseparatesentences and use some punctuation?
as an US based person, nope, you have no excuse not to.
Read, reread and triple read what your profile says.

U no?

Grim looks and "i am a happy person"do not match.


Everything you say about yourself makes Boys run away.
Hold some car Keys in your hands and smile - to show you are independent and happy.

Call me an *******.
Gave you my best.

Honestly.. at times we must work on ourselves before others will see us for the person we really can be...

But believe it or not I do know how you feel. I have been passed up by guys that I was interested in and to find out due to my weight.. Sure it hurts but you know if a person does not like you for who you are inside as well as outside they are doing you a favor..

I know as far as a personality I'm basically a very upbeat person. Have been told more then once that my laughter and good nature is contagious.. But yet that does not always do it for some when they are looking for another..

All I can say is take a deep look within make a list of what you feel you could change just to make you happy not others.. Once you are happy and confident with who you are, you will attract that special someone that loves you for who you are...

But........never ever settle for someone cause your lonely or feel that you are not worth someone's time and attention... This will only backfire to being abused or let down.. Be with someone that loves you and wants to be with you for who you are....

amen to that

Why are you demanding people give you something?


That implies you believe that to be what men want and to whom they give chances to.
So why not try to be those things to see if that works better for you?
If not, you can always go back.

It's like you're saying "I wish McDonald's would give me a cheeseburger. I may not have any money or a ride to McDonald's..."
If you've identified the problem, then making a plan to fix the problem is easy.
The hardest part is in identifying the problem, accepting it as a problem.
But here, you seem to have done that.


You know you never hear someone say "thank god they focus on my looks because my personality just plain sucks...Pshewwwww! Dodged a bullet there."

Everyone seems to think their personality is their redeeming feature or some kind of magic love inducing wonderment. That it's this golden nugget hidden in the unfortunate detritus of accidental heritage and experience.

It's not.
Personality is no more "important" than looks, looks are no more important than personality.

People aren't modular.
People are everything that defines their existence as an individual human being. Looks, personality, intelligence, mentality, social position, spirituality, attitude, handicaps, health, humor, appetites, nutrition, whatever, you name it. You can't just ignore one aspect and pretend they are "getting to know you."

You are your looks. You are your personality.
Your looks helped shape your personality. Your personality helped shape your looks.

Might as well ask "I wish men would try to date me but ignore that I'm a woman!"

The more you try to ignore yourself as a whole person, the greater disparity in identity you create, which means the more inconsistent your communication, which is simply going to create greater insecurity in yourself and anyone that might even think about the possibility of looking at you.


Eh, that's my screed for the morning. I think the OP has posted this exact same thread at least once before.

I have a suspicion that the OP simply starts these threads either as a general troll or to try and knock lose some captain saveaho's that will email some victim ego stroking affirmations.

mmmmmm makes me wanna sticky a thread about what to put in a profile and what not to..


sure are a lot of sad Sams and Samanthas that come in here woes me-ing all over the place about being sad and lonely and griping about their lack of messages..



like somebody is gonna read that and think

" holy crapola thank god you showed up here and started complaining about your life ...you are sad, depressed,lonesome and somehow expect that someone "out there" is responsible for your happiness...oh happy day I have arrived"

Hye op

I think Kristi has just about covered it
This is a good advice indeed

Good luck sweetheart
And don't give up
If u ever need a friend to chat with
U know where to find me

Love
Ais

I agree about getting pics that bring out your best features and smile. Men are obsessed with smiling women, show them a smile and they come running for some weird reason..... You don't have to be a supermodel to get a man, obviously. I also agree about changing what you wrote in your profile, especially the use of spell check, it shows you're serious about communicating effectively and you want to come off as the intelligent person you are.

Your living situation doesn't have to be a big deal to the right person, you're still very young, plenty of young people still live at home, and even if you were 50 and living at home, it's better than being in a house with a man who abuses you, just to prove you're an adult. You don't have to put that on your profile though, since you have people who will judge you on that in our society. Maybe bring it up later after you've met a guy that you really click with, and if it turns him off, show him the door.

I hope you find what you want.

Another great advice ash

Guys...
Give her a break
Be nice...

agree with Ais here,
she is obviously very self conscious and not particularly happy within herself, yet until you know her personally, then its a bit harsh passing comment and judging her.
maybe offer her some friendly advice as, some already have, rather than poke fun?
to the OP, maybe take the advice of some of the long time regulars here and see how that works, or maybe get on the forums and join in and maybe people will see your personality?
i'm not slim or 'beautiful but i have spoke to lots of people who liked my personality because of the forum....either that or they just pity me

good luck!

Well said wise OWL

rewrite your profile and be more confident go out and do activities with friends have them take some pictures of you smiling.You can list your job as caregiver and the age range seems like you could leave that out What i am thinking is being single gives us time to work on ourselves.I would feel so lucky to be your age time flies make it count.Good Luck

Several post have been deleted if you are only here to insult, make smart remarks or sexual comments... then you need to move on!!

There is a time and place and this is not the place..nor the time..

Please do not come in with excuses of why you said what you did. For it will be deleted and you will be dealt with personally~~

People create threads for advice or answers not for insults or hurtful comments!


Site Mod
Kristi

Well said kristi