We may have something in our past that we feel may be a deal-breaker in starting a new relationship.

It may be finances, or we may not truly be over an ex, an illness, etc.

How do you share this information with someone, without losing the relationship altogether?

I am not asking anyone to share "THEIR" secret, just would like to know when and if you should share this information, with a potential mate.

Depends on the secret.
Sex change...right away

well yeah
that would definately need to be shared...LOL

Brian .....you so fuuuunnnnnyyyyy!!

I believe i be open and hanest from the begining! Although that has also caused a lot of problems......
So I guess I don't know the right awnser.....anyone else?

I am honest from the beginning and if they can't handle it, too bad, move on

It doesnt matter when if you have someone that honestly cares for you.

share it as soon as possible:)))
if you wait too long its just harder....i think:))

When that secret is on your mind a lot and so is the one you want to share it with --------- to me, I'd say its time to risk it.

Everyone has a past.
To accept someone for who they are you must also accept someone for who there were.
I say be honest and if they can't deal with it then you're better off.
How would you feel if you found out that special someone wasn't totally honest?
It may be hard but the sooner the better.

I agree with mustangpass

but some people are looking for a perfect mate

so when you share whatever it is, they move on

go figure

In a good relationship, you should have enough trust to share anything...
That said, I wouldn't rush to give up my deepest, darkest secrets right away.

I've had a couple times where I was talking to a girl, and she started gushing about getting raped as a kid, and daddy issues, and I kinda hit a point where I was like, "Why are you telling me all this? I just met you... " I think most people can kinda relate to that.

Other side is when you've been dating a while, and suddenly you find out she's been hiding something from you that seems to change the whole relationship's dynamic. Then you just feel betrayed, so you can definately stray too far in the other direction.

If you look at how most relationships go, when you first meet you are just awash in good feelings, because the newness hasn't worn off yet. You're still living in a fantasy, but then that fantasy starts to wear off, and you realize that your lover is still around. I wouldn't spoil the fantasy, but I wouldn't wait too much past the "Gee, she is human, after all" phase...

But, that's just my thoughts...

brian:)))
you are right on that:)))

the sooner the better, huh?

well I can see where that may work for some

honesty is the best policy

being honest with ourself seems to be the key

well if they move on.....
i don't think they are the perfect ones:)))

being honest with yourself seems to be the key
sorry typo

the only key:))))

At the first indication that the relationship is turning serious you have to be completely honest even if it is a "deal breaker". To do anything else injects mistrust into a relationship and without total trust there is no hope. There is a different between casual dating and serious relationships. As for anyone looking for the "perfect" mate. I hope they are happy alone, for they won't find perfection unless they are perfect themselves and the last perfect person on Earth was killed for his differences.

i don't think perfect is good...i think its boring:)))
little things makes the only one so special i think:)))

you should only share the hidden past (ghost in the closet) when you feel your relationship is progressing to the next level beyond emails and just buddy friends. after a few long phone conversations and maybe a meeting then if you are going to move forward in the relationship.
If you start a relationship here airing all your issues before some one even gets to know who you are you just sound negative and that truly may not be you