3 girls-a redhead, a brunette and a blonde were stranded on a deserted island. One day, as they were walking along the seashore, they found a lamp that had washed up. Hoping that it was a magic lamp, the began rubbing it. POOF-A genie appeared.

Genie: " I can only grant 3 wishes, so each of you has one wish"
Redhead: "I miss my family sooo much!! I wish I was with them right now..and POOF....she was back home with her family
Brunette: "I miss my boyfriend and family sooo much. I want to be back with them...and POOF...she was back with here loved ones.
The blonde began crying uncontrollably
Genie: "Why are you so upset?"
Blonde: "Now I'm here all alone and so afraid. I wish my 2 friends were back here with me....and POOF

What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you??




You pull the clip then throw it back..

A blind man enters a bar and find his way to a barstool. After ordering a drink, and sitting there for a while, the blind guy yells to the bartender, “Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?” The bar immediately becomes absolutely quiet. In a husky, deep voice,the woman next to him says, “Before you tell that joke, you should know something. The bartender is blonde, the bouncer is blonde and I’m a 6′ tall, 200 pound blonde with a black belt in karate. What’s more, the fella sitting next to me is blonde and he’s a weightlifter. The woman to your right is a blonde, and she’s a pro wrestler. Think about it seriously, mister. You still wanna tell that blonde joke?” The blind guy says, “Nah, not if I’m gonna have to explain it five times.”

A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. "Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?" The blonde said "How about 50 pounds?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and other materials that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?" The man replied, "She should, she was standing on it." A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money. "You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats." Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the �50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "it's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."

Nice one!

Blonde prostitute is eyeing a potential customer at the end of the bar. She slides into the stool next to him and says in a breathy, seductive voice "I've been looking at you since you came in, and I think you are a stunningly handsome man. I'm actually a high priced call girl, but for you, I'll do ANYTHING you want for just $100."

The man slowly reaches for his wallet, and pulls out five twenty dollars bills and lays them on the bar. He leans in, and places his mouth close to her ear. In his best seductive voice he replies, "Here's $100. Paint my house."

To prepare for his big date, a young man
went to the rooftop of his apartment to
work on his tan. Not wanting any tan lines,
he sunbathed in the nude but fell asleep and
burned his penis.
Not wanting to miss out on his date with
the hot blonde, he applied some ointment to
his manhood and wrapped it in gauze. The
blonde showed up at his apartment and
after dinner they went into the living room
to watch a movie.
During the movie, the young man’s
sunburn began to hurt. After several
minutes of extreme discomfort, he asked to
be excused.
A friend had told him that milk was very
effective in reducing sunburn pain. So he
went to the kitchen, poured a tall glass of
cold milk, and placed his sunburned
member into the milk. He experienced
immediate relief.
The blonde, wondering what the young man
was doing, wandered into the kitchen and
found him with his shaft fully immersed in
the glass of milk. With a look of
understanding the blonde exclaimed, "So
that’s how you load those things!"

bet ya'll haven't heard nothing like this. I met a blonde a few years back. I bought a bout two dozen roses that were in a vase that had the plant food in side ,well about a week latter the roses died so she bought two gold fish & stuck them strait into the water that had the plant food , well the fish died & she blamed me that it was my faught. but when I asked if she changed & cleaned the bowl that had the water inside . she looked at me crazy & said water is water isn't it , well yes & no I told her when she questioned me I had asked if she changed & cleaned out the water she said no . I then told her the fish will not live in a high count of fertilized water with plant food

OMG

Hello babe