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Topic: No one interested because your a father
Davro5's photo
Sun 08/16/15 02:29 AM
Does anyone else feel that being honest on here and saying you've got kids to an ex partner it's more difficult to interact with someone and start at conversation that could lead to more?

no photo
Sun 08/16/15 02:53 AM
I don't think so. I think the majority of the folks here have kids. I don't think it a stigma at all. It just takes time

Good luck

simplewoman2014's photo
Sun 08/16/15 03:06 AM
I agree with devildog! being honest is a sign of a nice person, at least you told the person right away. To be a single dad or mom is not a big deal. The important thing you are honest to the person you are talking with, than she or he will find it at the end.

no photo
Sun 08/16/15 03:07 AM

I don't think so. I think the majority of the folks here have kids. I don't think it a stigma at all. It just takes time

Good luck


I don't think it is a stigma (for men anyway). I think it is personal choice & if a person is willing to take a package deal or view it as baggage.
So yes..I think it is very difficult for people with kids living at home, or paying child support, or an ex partner still in the picture.

dreamerana's photo
Sun 08/16/15 03:30 AM

Does anyone else feel that being honest on here and saying you've got kids to an ex partner it's more difficult to interact with someone and start at conversation that could lead to more?

it isn't a simple question.
are you a father with shared or primary custody?
that's not a bad thing if you're there for the child.

are you an absent father?
then a person would have to weigh the circumstances.

are you a father of multiple children from multiple mothers?
that would show you take things very lightly.

TMommy's photo
Sun 08/16/15 05:28 AM
I agree..in fact by my age I would find it a little odd if a man did not have children for it may signify his inability to commit to a monogamous relationship at any point in his life spock

Annynjl's photo
Tue 08/18/15 10:49 AM

Does anyone else feel that being honest on here and saying you've got kids to an ex partner it's more difficult to interact with someone and start at conversation that could lead to more?

I doubt it it actually comforts a woman who also has children, makes you easier to talk to and gives more common ground

Prinzess88's photo
Wed 08/19/15 06:59 AM
I've got two young boys. But in unhappy marriage

orliefoxrox's photo
Wed 08/19/15 08:17 AM
I've always found that the people that don't mind I have children are the ones I really want to talk to. If there is one thing I learned being a single mom is that time is very precious. So why would I want to spend mine with someone who isn't really on the same path in life as me?

Also hiding your kids in the beginning may be sending the wrong message, like you are ashamed of your children or you think they make you less of a person.

I would be more likely to respect someone who unabashedly owned up to every part of who they are :)

no1phD's photo
Wed 08/19/15 10:41 AM
My boys are part of me my life.. what journey what path I take in life..
they are on as well.. so we are kind of a package deal..:wink: ..

Annierooroo's photo
Wed 08/19/15 11:10 AM
You have nothing to worry about on here, no one has n issue about kids.

I know what you mean when I was younger I had one child, I had broken up with the father, became a male hater was really missed up. Any male looked at me would get a mouthful.
Anyway I went into this church. I left my child with my parents because I wanted to check it out.
When i was asked where is ypur daughter. The dirty looks I got from them was disgusting.
They thought I was there to get a husband. Oh my gosh that wasn't even on my list. I hated men. The married women were clinging to there man
I look back now and laugh
i have had other women say the same. When a solo mum goes to church the first thing is she is looking for a husband. Trust me when a woman goes there they are not on the list. L

SitkaRains's photo
Sun 08/23/15 12:19 PM
I do believe being a "parent" doesn't matter if a mother or father if you are single that comes with a whole new set of parameters to go by.

First if you are a parent that is an absentee parent by your own choice that is going to be a red flag to many others.

If you are a parent trying to date someone that has never been a parent then that opens up a whole other bag of tricks. They may not get that parenting is a full time job and things happen and plans have to be changed sometimes in a matter of minutes.

Being the parent and dating you have to make sure who you are interested in will also be agood fit with your children. That can and will most likely be a tough road.

I personally don't believe in involving children til after there is a good connection between said couple. But that is just my opinion.

So does being a single father make it tougher in some aspects in others no way it is an asset...

Best wishes to you

licismiles's photo
Sun 09/06/15 04:36 PM
Edited by licismiles on Sun 09/06/15 04:37 PM
I completely agree with your comment Orliefoxrox

1j9b6c5's photo
Sun 09/06/15 07:21 PM
...or a son of a biscuit. I don't wanna name no names but if I see him in the mirror, I'll whistle.
<<<walks away whistling.

Annierooroo's photo
Sun 09/06/15 07:36 PM

Does anyone else feel that being honest on here and saying you've got kids to an ex partner it's more difficult to interact with someone and start at conversation that could lead to more?


If they are not interested then there is someone else better for you.

WorldWarZeke's photo
Sun 09/06/15 07:49 PM
I've personally been lucky enough to have always met women who didnt mind children.

Dodo_David's photo
Sun 09/06/15 11:23 PM
Being a single father is a problem only if you let it be one.

PacificStar48's photo
Mon 09/21/15 04:24 PM
Edited by PacificStar48 on Mon 09/21/15 04:25 PM
I prefer a man who has children BUT I want a man who has adult children in the general range and functioning level of my own. I am not going to back track and redo the whole kids .teens, early twenty drama again.

Living on their own, working, raising their children, making the majority of their own decisions without my intervention. I have the time of my life to enjoy my life and prepare for that time when I will have more needs than I have now.

I am a believer in "Lifetime Parenting". That means adult children having a family relationship, a place to turn in crisis, but being independent enough that they are not a part of my daily life. Or that I am always the one who does the holidays.

The exception to this would be a man with an adult child who is because of trauma, birth defect, or catastrophic illness could not live alone. I am a realist and understand resources that should be available do not exist. I would have to consider that relationship and see how committed he was to making it not more of a burden for me than him but I would not reject the relationship straight out.

What I am not going to tolerate for even a minute is a parent that allows an adult child to use drugs and alcohol or use a behavioral disability as and excuse to be a pain in the... well you get the idea. This goes for Grandkids too.

no photo
Tue 09/22/15 08:25 AM
I once was in a relationship with a man who had kids. I was worried how they'd be with me. They seemed to take well to me. Saying that, I'm one of those that naturally gets along good with animals and children. I just have a way with them I guess. If it scares some off, well, why bother worrying about those who it bothers?

no photo
Sun 09/27/15 01:13 PM
im a single father and sorry about your marriage if u ever care 2 meet a new friend hit me up my names sal

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