would you leave your gf for your ex, after a break in communication she came back and the calls keep coming in, then i discover i think of her more this few days, always wanna be on the phone with her and wished we never broke up

once an X all ways an X
so no way i would leave a lady for an X

but that feeling, those memories keep coming back, expecially when we just end a conversation... it's hitting bad so lost

I have a bit of a different opinion... Why was the break up bad timing each other lives? Career? etc..
People change and if the break up was something of yeah we really care about each other yet with all the outside crap going on well Let's call it quits for a while.

I have a couple of friends, that were high school sweethearts married over 20 years, split for about 5 years, and remarried and have been happy ever since. So while I would proceed with extreme caution and more than likely I wouldn't do it if I love them I would leave the door open to see.

You have a GF, but your talking to your Ex and your on a site looking for a woman... I don't know .,Brother... seems like a disaster waiting to happen

yeah i would put the blame on lack of communication, then some awkward feeling of one cheating on the other. we had a break, i found someelre she also did. mine keeps getting stronger her's didn't even last a month i just got to find out during our conversation, i dont wanna hurt my gf but am rilli missing my ex. Rains how u doing

am not looking for a woman here or any kind of relationship, just here for the forum and to pass time with friends. i only had a crush once on this site and am over that

Maybe.
If the relationship sucked, or was about to end anyway.
But it wouldn't really be "for" my ex.
To use another person to justify the personal decision to leave someone is...all sorts of bad words.


Does your gf know this?
Or are you hiding it from her?
Why do you keep taking her calls?
If I stop using heroin I don't start inviting my dealer over to try and be "just friends."
If I were trying to get over being an alcoholic, I wouldn't go to ladies night at the bar because I miss dancing.
I avoid temptation and live up to my commitments and responsibilities. That's what adults do.


IME people usually aren't lost.
They just get into severe conflicts of "I want to do something, but I want to avoid the judgments I know I deserve for doing it. How do I do something, without having to accept the consequences or responsibilities, and minimizing risk? How do I get what I want (preferably immediately), while still maintaining my social facade of being a 'good' person."

That's not "lost."
That's just not wanting to face what you really want.

Lots of people do that and keep doing that, believing to be lost, until the decision is made for them.

For example, the more "lost" you are it means the more you are going to communicate (at least indirectly) that you are lost to your current gf, that you're insecure and don't know what to do. Potentially, your current gf is not going to know what's going on, what's going to happen, creating insecurity in the relationship.

Then, she is either going to be driven away in order to protect herself, or be driven to pursue you and force you into more clear and concise communication about what has changed in the relationship due to your "lostness," which may potentially drive you away.

In either case, the most likely scenario is you break up.
Then, you will feel justified in going after your ex.

But in reality, the only thing you did was vacillate in being "lost."
You never really "said" you were breaking up or wanted to, you never really "said" you wanted your ex, you never really "said" you wanted to go back to your ex...that just magically happens.
It just works out that way.
And you can tell yourself "well, my gf just got really insecure. well, my gf must not have been that into me. well, my gf was just a psycho that got really clingy. well, communication in the relationship just wasn't good."

You don't have to take responsibility, you were too busy focusing on your ex and being lost to realize what you were communicating to your gf by your change in attitude, feelings, and behavior.

you never seize to amuse me, i guess its time to make the right move... but another issue i have is i don't rilli trust my current gf that's why i keep both of them close. cause one has learnt from her mistake and the other am scared might misbehaviour, there are couple of things she did that made me not trust her

Hit me baby one more time!

If I had feelings for an ex, I wouldn't go into a new relationship, until those feelings had dissapeared. It wouldn't feel right dragging another person into it.

Then tell her that. But I really don't advise being with one woman, while having feelings for a DIFFERENT woman. It seems you're juggling them around in your mind.

I agree with what Rains said, but I want to add that you really need to work on figuring out what's really going on inside YOU.

Think about exactly WHY you want to stay with each woman, which you clearly do.

One thing to watch out for, which happens with ex's a lot, is that you might want to get back with her, not because of her, but because getting together again fulfills some important fantasy of yours. Maybe what you are actually trying to do, is prove that YOU were right to want her before. That would be an example of the WRONG reason to get back together.

Also watch out for what could be called "love by deduction" mistakes. That's what I call it when someone discovers that they miss being around someone, or really like talking to them on the phone, and conclude that this "must mean I should love them." The best kind of love isn't "what you find after you empty the box," it's what you see and feel directly when you are living your life with the other person.