CONFESSION OF A LADY!!!
...During lunch at work last week, I ate
3 plates of beans (which I know I
... shudn't).
When I got home, my husband seemed
Excited to see me and exclaimed
Delightedly: "Darling I have a surprise
For dinner tonight." He then
Blindfolded me and led me to my chair
At the dinner table. I took a seat and
Just as he was about to remove my
Blindfold, the telephone rang. He made
Me promise not to touch the blindfold
Until he returned and went to answer
The call. The beans I had consumed
Were still affecting me and the pressure
Was becoming unbearable, so while my
Husband was out of the room I seized
The opportunity, shifted my weight to
One leg and let one go. It was not only
Loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck
Running over a skunk in front of a
Garbage dump! I took my napkin from
My lap and fanned the air around me
Vigorously. Then, shifting to the other
Leg, I ripped off three more. The stink
Was worse than cooked cabbage.
Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the
Conversation in the other room, I went
On releasing atomic bombs like this for
Another few minutes. The pleasure was
Indescribable! Eventually the telephone
Farewells signaled the end of my
Freedom, so I quickly fanned the air a
Few more times with my napkin, placed
It on my lap and folded my hands back
On it feeling very relieved and pleased
With myself. My face must have been
The picture of innocence when my
Husband returned, apologizing for
Taking so long. He asked me if I had
Peeked through the blindfold, and I
Assured him I had not. At this point, he
Removed the blindfold, and twelve
Dinner guests seated around the table,
With their hands to their noses,
Chorused: "Happy Birthday

Oh lord another reason I don't eat beans...

phahahahaha...wawawawa...And how some ladies feel cool about themselves.You might think they never p**t or even p**.lol.

Wow that's funny. Lol
I bet you won't live that down in a hurry.

What a shame.......

LOL gives a whole new meaning to Birthday suit.

sounds like one of my bean eating episodes...in the men's bathroom at the mal not realizing their was a man in the handicapped stall that couldn't talk only groan...I had to go BAD...and the smell was beyond AWFUL...the poor guy started groaning and banging his cane on the metal...I quickly finished...washed up...headed out the door only to run into his son who said..."I swear Dad if you don't quit eating them beans they are going to kill you..." Although I have laughed about it many times I still feel bad for letting the old guy take the blame!

thanks you made me laugh so much..:-) :-)

Hey raycusher your first post i bet its the best one. Omg the bestiee

lol.... funny..

I would have hid my face!! hahahahaa oh my god!!

I would have hid my face!! hahahahaa oh my god!!

OMG lol..

Excellent job, Raycusher, I always love it when someone can paint the picture in your mind to the point that you actually envision the whole ordeal. Well done

LMAO, so funny, ☺☺☺