Topic: How can i become more open minded to dating
ShenikaMartin's photo
Thu 07/09/15 07:33 PM
How can i become more open minded to dating? I know im only 21 but im just always nervous when it come to going on date, so nervous that i change my mind or come up with some phoney excuse

yellowrose10's photo
Thu 07/09/15 07:34 PM
What do you think you are nervous about?

ShenikaMartin's photo
Thu 07/09/15 07:36 PM
There are alot of stuff what would they think about me, what if the guy is like a total stalker,what if he thinks im fat loll what if he just doesnt like me

yellowrose10's photo
Thu 07/09/15 07:39 PM
Well if he doesn't like you, move on. There are plenty of guys that will like you.

As for a stalker....meet in a public place (drive separately) and don't give out where you live etc

Datwasntme's photo
Thu 07/09/15 07:46 PM

How can i become more open minded to dating? I know im only 21 but im just always nervous when it come to going on date, so nervous that i change my mind or come up with some phoney excuse


give time to get to know them
after time the mask (so to speak) slips off and you get a better idea of who you are talking to

trust your gut instinct (if something seams to good to be true then it is)

i like the net better : )
cause i have yet to find the ignore button in real life lol
: )

ShenikaMartin's photo
Thu 07/09/15 07:49 PM
Lol thank you very much

ShenikaMartin's photo
Thu 07/09/15 07:49 PM
Thanks for the advice hun

Datwasntme's photo
Thu 07/09/15 07:55 PM
another thought , take a couple along with you on the first date
meet in public

both those should calm your nerves a little and make it a lot safer : )

mikeyspace4691's photo
Thu 07/09/15 07:59 PM
Kill a pint of vodka..drinks

Meida's photo
Thu 07/09/15 08:07 PM

There are alot of stuff what would they think about me, what if the guy is like a total stalker,what if he thinks im fat loll what if he just doesnt like me


I think, it's depend of how the guy treat you.
If He really like you he will accept you no matter what.
And Please trust me, beauty is not making love. but love will make u be the most beautiful girl in this world to him :)
Dont try to attract guy with becoming somebody else.
Be your self, u are very beautiful :)

no photo
Thu 07/09/15 08:12 PM
How can i become more open minded to dating?

Realize that agreeing to a date does not constitute a commitment to any kind of long term relationship or make you responsible for their emotional well being or feelings.

Realize that dating is just agreeing to one date at a time.

im just always nervous... what would they think about me, what if the guy is like a total stalker, what if he thinks im fat loll what if he just doesnt like me

Your nervousness is your choice and you are responsible for doing it to yourself.

You are ascribing all of these fake motives to their beliefs about you, which is ultimately shifting responsibility for your fears onto them.

It would be different if the fears were "what if I act stupid, what if I come off as a stalker, what if I'm too fat, what if I don't come across right."

So...why are you holding them responsible for your fears?
What do you "really" fear?
Lot's of people really don't want to date, they don't want relationships, they want to focus on school and career just like they were trained, but emotionally human beings naturally and inherently seek out others for comfort and intimacy and procreation.
Also, other social relationships push expectations that you should date and be in a relationship.

So is it fear? Or just a conflict between what you want (a lack of change, risk, to focus on your financial security and control over immediate gratification) vs. what you're told you're supposed to want, fulfilling the expectations of others, and fearing adding more expectations to the expectations you are already in conflict with?

ShenikaMartin's photo
Thu 07/09/15 10:49 PM
Wow never really lookes at it in that stand poin thanks much

ShenikaMartin's photo
Thu 07/09/15 10:50 PM
Edited by ShenikaMartin on Thu 07/09/15 10:51 PM

no1phD's photo
Thu 07/09/15 11:01 PM
How can I become open minded to dating... Try dating a brain surgeon.. LOL JK

no photo
Sat 07/11/15 04:59 AM
Be open to giving them a chance. Sometimes I've fell for men I wasn't even attracted to. It happened gradually. Just talking to them can be a good start :)

metalwing's photo
Sat 07/11/15 05:35 AM
Don't date "bad boys". Save them for later.:smile:

no photo
Sat 07/11/15 05:48 AM

How can i become more open minded to dating? I know im only 21 but im just always nervous when it come to going on date, so nervous that i change my mind or come up with some phoney excuse


In my opinion, you may be thinking too much. Thinking about all of the things that can possible go wrong as opposed to relaxing and letting the date unfold.

You instincts will tell you early enough if the date is good or bad.

Your a pretty gal and seem very smart. Enjoy yourself a little.. and don't overthink things :)

Best of luck