Many uses for a Vibrator

An elderly gentlemen had been living with his spinster daughter for some years. One day, upon returning home he heard an unusual whirring noise. Wandering around the first floor, he noticed that the noise seemed to be coming from somewhere upstairs.
He proceeded up the stairs to investigate. Walking around, he realized that the noise increased as he neared his daughters closed bedroom door. Whereupon he quickly open the door to make sure that everything was alright.
He was astonished by the sight of his daughter, stretched out naked on her bed with a vibrator violently shaking in her hand.
"Sylvie! What in tarnation is goin' on?" He shouted!
Sylvie, without hesitation replied: "Daddy, I have needs! Isn't it obvious? I know that I'm not going to find anybody to marry, so please leave me alone, and shut the door on your way out."
Somewhat chagrined, he retreated, and closed the door as he exited.
Not too many days later, his daughter returned home from doing some errands. When she entered the living room, she was surprised to hear an unusual whirring noise coming from somewhere.
As she walked around, she realized that the noise was coming from somewhere on the second floor. When she walked around the upstairs hall, she realized that the noise originated from behind her fathers closed bedroom door.
Throwing the door open, she was astonished to see her father, dressed in a tuxedo, with a glass of bourbon in one hand, and her vibrator violently shaking the other.
"Daddy! What in tarnation is goin' on?" She shouted!
Without hesitation, he replied "Sylvie, I have needs too! Isn't it obvious? I'm having a drink with my son-in-law! So please leave us alone, and shut the door on your way out."

too funny

That's hilarious!!