Do you think it's possible to be into women more than men even if you wanted to settle down with a man but you find yourself looking at the women and thinking and the men don't seem that interesting anymore. What I'm saying badly lol is is it possible to stop being bi and sort of lean towards being lesbian. I know it sounds dum but i didn't know how else to put it

I read your post shortly after you finished and left it thinking that someone would have some excellent input had advise for you; then I see where you're getting hammered by someone's PREACHING BS at you and I can't refrain!!!

My dearest niece in my whole world {13 nieces & nephews}...rushed into a early marriage {got pregnant while in high school} left home and married this alcoholic! Long story - short; that ended and she found the love of her life - gal pal that she was working with! Seems my niece knew she was 'Lesbian Curious' while in high school but struggled with that 'sexual preference' issue {not only due to a horrid/abusive/perverted Mexican father} but because of her stringent Catholic upbringing and years of 'MENTAL CONTROL' by all of her adults!
Shortly after her ugly divorce - her father murdering my dear older sister and then his suicide - our having to figure out how we were going to provide for the other 5 siblings still at home - Ya, her life was CHAOS and emotional struggle for a long period of time!

I dropped in {unannounced} to her home since I was in the city and found her - her young son - and her roommate living together; now I'm not the brightest bulb in that box but the emotional connection and love within that home and the way that they looked at each other and behaved...well I knew that there was some serious affection between those 2 young women! So I just put it out there and asked: 'are you 2 involved and is this serious?'

They've been together for over 18 yrs now! And we've had many glorious frank discussions about love/betrayal/hiding the sexual desires that are part of their make up that they can't control or hide any longer! And both of these young women are now in the mid 40's and work like a well oiled team - they are so nice/good decent humans to be around...it's just pure enjoyment and good times at their home! Her son grew up accepting - having excellent grades - works in a Information Software business and rescues dogs & a few reptiles too!

It seems to my POV that you are more curious then anything {but I can be way off base on that} and if you find someone to engage with --- just please, be careful especially for your children!
{{hugs}} to you and good luck in your search for love!

that was sad im sorry to hear I never thought I wanted to settle down with a woman but now I've been looking for a while I'm getting less and less interested in finding a man. Plus if I'm watching fifty shades and i find her more sexy than him well I think I have to deal with that lol. Plus I don't want to end up in a bad relationship not this time around not when I have the choice and the self worth I didn't have before. Thank you again for the advice I appreciate it. I'm glad things got better for her in the end.

No.



I'm not really sure what you're asking, or the point.

You want to be with a man, like you lean towards men, but you're scared you might change and start leaning more towards women, which will hurt a relationship?

Or you want to be with a man for the reasons of settling down, but when you're single, you don't want to settle down, you want to focus on finding women more attractive?

Or you lean towards men, you see them as ideal for settling down with, you also lean kinda towards women, but you want to start seeing women as ideal to settle down with?

Or you're in a relationship, settled down with a man, because you lean towards men, but the relationship isn't that great, and you want to start leaning towards women to get out of the relationship?

Or you're in a relationship, settled down with a man, it's not that great, and you want to know if you can change to lean more towards women because you want to try adding someone into your relationship to make it better?



Other than that, you can focus your attraction response.
Mostly by making a decision and sticking to it long enough.


I disagree. People aren't light switches.
I do believe some people are born that way.
Just as some men are born women in male bodies, or men in female bodies, or hermaphrodites, or intersexed, or men can develop working mammaries, some men have been born with working uteruses.

DNA isn't an absolute. During development there are all sorts of cooperative and competitive events for chemicals determining what is built and how it functions. Even in the brain. There isn't an absolute blue print, or limited number of blueprints for production models.

So there aren't just "men" and "women."

I believe social training is just as important as biological determination.

I think some people are "born" gay, or bi, just by what goes on in physical development, but I think just as many (if not more) choose to adopt the behavior and identity.

Someone choosing to crossdress and act slutty, wanting to be called brenda, isn't automatically a transgender or intersexed person.
A guy experiencing sympathetic labor pains wasn't necessarily born with a uterus.
A white guy in baggy pants listening to rap and speaking "ebonics" wasn't necessarily born of a mixed race couple.

I think homosexuality and bisexuality and transgender people can be something that occurs naturally.
But I don't believe everyone that identifies as such were actually born that way, or are an absolute of either being that way or not.

no, your born that way and have no choice... ask any gay -- so either that is a lie or your just confused..

We have deleted a few post please make sure that all post are within the Topic. Regardless what ones sexually preference is. When others ask a question please if your taking the time to answer it, do not do it by insulting them or degrade them for who they are.


Site Mod
Kristi

Maybe have both.. I'm sure the guy would go for that if you share..

straight! gay !..just as long as they have a pulse.....

Well to a be honest I figure if you are happy being with person all is good. For the longest while I thought sister was bisexual but that was simple cover because my step father had some issue with being gay. I knew she was gay when start to a be her roommate. I did not tell my parent that she was because I knew they would freak out.I knew it for awhile because I walk in on her kissing a girl. Yes she went with guy for prom but I think it was hide the fact she was that. But she got bored with him. I think you can have happened too that lean toward women because later on she was happy that she embrace it final well went out with Ashley. They been happy every since. I mean if your happy doing that leaning toward being gay or whichever just find who you are happy with more a girl or guy. Whichever I am sure you find that person.

This is why I don't come on mingle as much as I used to, a simple question turns into the anti gay brigade being all prim and proper.
I mostly agree with Moe, you either know from an early age what you are or are not.
I think mature women who begin to think about other women do it purely out of fantasy but if it came to the crunch they would run a mile.
If it's a fantasy then keep it that way but I doubt at your age if it would be anything other than a fantasy.
What I mean is, if it's what is right for you then you would have known long before today

^^^ Well said young Lady!

Well spoken... For the most part...
I believe you know by a young age and if you listen to thyself, the answer comes.
I am confused why you would want to settle down with a man if you are leaning more towards a woman... I think truthfully some therapy might help you figure it out. Then choose and be proud of what ever you are. But take the time to figure it out either way.

some people are born attracted to the same sex... some however choose to be attracted to the same sex...I choose to like vanilla ice cream...but I was born to love strawberry

You may be a closet icecreamer..

..well I definitely am a screamer I can guarantee you that lol

Just bury your face in a pillow..

..pillows usually end up on the floor but come to think of it that's usually where I end up to

So sad really when a man can't handle his ice cream

I can't help it !..it just tends to Spill out everywher. .