Bullchit


I've been told that more than once in my lifetime.

Either men don't care or aren't SUPPOSED to care how they look. Actions speak otherwise. It's called gyms and face creams.

Your thoughts?

i dont use either
<shrug>

I think any decent real man would care to SOME extent,I ain't saying be some type deva or nothing though!

My thoughts?...

Starting with my dad, the men I know care deeply about their looks...

From my perspective having lived through those 'carefree hippie' periods; sooooo not true!

With the onset of all the FB/Myspace/media/TV shows where we are exposed to more 'MALE MODELS' and 'BODY BUILDING CONTESTS' --- one only has to view a few of those shows to see the huge numbers of men that maintain their bodies in such primo condition {hairless wonders} and that's no easy task either!

I believe the answers you get to this question would depend on where you are doing interviewing

for instance walking into a gym or a 5k marathon sign up or a bicicle shop might getcha different answers
then the all you can eat buffet or asking the regulars at sloppy's smalltown redneck tavern or guy owns the tobacco discount store

You have it slightly wrong, OP. Culturally speaking, males ARE supposed to very MUCH care how they look, especially as regards business situations, and cases where one of the males involved is their social or official superior.

At the same time, men are ALWAYS supposed to claim that they DON'T care how they look, whenever they are talking to men who are their social equals, or when women are observing them, who might conclude that they aren't "manly" enough, should they indulge in any preening.

The main difference in behaviors has long been that men are supposed to do all of their preening and looks maintenance in private, and women are allowed to perform some such tasks in public.

It's all stupid, but stupidity is at the heart of most social mores, after all.

Most, if not all, things comparing men and women and making their emotional reactions and hierarchies of importance equal are "bullchit."


Those actions don't necessarily mean they care about their looks.

They may just care about their image.

There's a huge difference between manipulating appearance as a tool to fulfill ego or id vs. looks being an extension of the ego or id.

There's a huge difference between enhancing what you have to make yourself feel better and adopting an image because you want other people to see you a certain way.

Men were always supposed to care how they look.
Mothers have been teaching young men to dress for church, bathe, comb their hair, that women like a man who looks good, for a very very long time.

Fashion throughout history was highly important to hide disfiguring STD's like syphillis (to keep from looking bad, e.g. powdered wigs), or as a means to show wealth and power.
People. Men, women, "looks" have always been important.


Men and women association their their looks with their emotions in different ways.

Comparing the two, about who cares "more" and making some kind of value judgment about who is better, or ignoring differences to equate similarities, is pretty much the definition of comparing apples to oranges.


Men care about looks.
Women care about looks.

But "why" and "what they get out of it" and "what emotional stages do they need to go through in order to maintain or normalize mental health when being rejected for looks" are completely different.



You might as well say something like "men, unlike women, don't care about sex?"
And then using the observation of behavior "men can't get pregnant, and don't have to stick around and raise the kid, they can never hold sex as important as a woman could" to justify it.

With you starting a thread saying "bullchit. They either don't care, or they aren't SUPPOSED to care. Actions speak louder than words. There's single dads, fathers, same sex couples adopting, husbands, big brother associations, and men are always going to singles bars to try and have sex."

But behind every monitor - in every home - we who type upon or keyboards - know only the 'TRUTH' >>>

Let the battle of the sexes commence.

In my 40 yrs of dating, marriage & dating,
.... for the most part, men do not NOT care what they look like.
But they certainty EXPECT women to.

I really think, men do NOT realize, how much women think like THEM. So they assume no matter what they look like, their class, job etc.. that we will be flattered. And magically look beyond all that & see a good guy & loving soul.
Ach, no. Hhhaaaa. That is not reality.

Women care & don't care, just as MUCH & just as LITTLE as men do.
Women notice every detail about a man.
Just like men do with women.
The difference is, we don't need to talk about it, make jokes about it & drool isn't running down our chin & we are looking you in the eye when we talk to you.

Give me a metro sexual or a macho guy any day of the week.


* Dramatic Music *

I know, I know

Why wouldn't a guy care about their looks? Unless they want to live alone forever.

One of my male friends, is the vainest person I know. He tidies his hair. He checks himself in the mirror. And other things vain people do. Then he always tells me he can't get a girlfriend. I wonder why. . If going through a bad divorce, causes this kind of behaviour, I can see why women can't be bothered with him. He can brag for England, but at the same time, I'm meant to feel sorry for him. I can only be around him, til he starts to act like Mr perfect. I tell him I'm going home. Sometimes I limit the amount of time we have together, e.g, "Hi Stephen. I've only got forty minutes spare, so I
haven't got long".

A few dry facts, men's grooming market is rising, now around �58M, yearly whilst woman's dipped to �615M. Half of 25-34 males use skincare products. A quarter of 55-64 males also use them. These are UK figures and they show that men care and more and more about their looks. Personally, I'm old school and don't use owt unless I'm on a promise!. That's not to say I'm not fussed, I am, but I'm more concerned about my physique which is why I exercise regularly. That's my 2 bobs worth.

my thoughts...
1. how one looks is beyond the physical beauty and proportion...it encompasses someone's cleanliness, aura, presence, confidence, bearing, and style.
2. altho looks are not the most important in a man, it can tell a lot about one...not everything...but a lot.
3. some people are better endowed physically than others, but that does not excuse anyone from not caring to look presentable and decent, at least.
4. gyms and face creams are suppose to be a means to an end, not the end of the action itself.

I must admit I have never focused much on how I look. I comb my hair, brush my teeth, and wear clean clothes. That's about it. I could be way off base but I have focused on other aspects of my life.

that's why men need women

there's a few other reasons too...