No, it is not as simple as Ego being "bad."

You have to BE a specific person, in order for someone to even HAVE a real relationship with you.

What I mean by that is, that if you set no boundaries, hold to no standards, and instead continuously adjust yourself to try to cater to other peoples' whims, they wont be able to figure out who you are, much less be able to rely on you emotionall



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This is so true in the ptesent society however isnt it the the standards that freds the ego. And by saying real relationship you define by society standard what constitute relationship. Why cant we each define what rrlationship is when everyone is hopelrssly uniuqe. Then when we find someone with the same or similar definition then thats the mingle perfect match up. Problem again is that we try to define relationship as close to the society standard and not as a uniuqe person thus the other parties have to gurese whats up deep within.

My why do you have to make it too difficult for me babe

Something in particular to watch out for, OP, which a LOT of us will fall to trying from time to time.

That is, finding we are unhappy with how things are going with someone we desire more from, so we look for grand scale "principles" or ideals to appeal to, as a way to try to guilt-trip them into acting as we want them to, instead of recognizing that they just aren't in to us as much as we wish they were.

It NEVER works.

If you find yourself calling for someone to set aside their concerns about this or that, in the name of the ideals of love, what you are usually ACTUALLY doing, is refusing to listen to them as they explain why they can't accept what you are offering to them.

As some might say, if you have to debate them into making an effort to get along with you, it means they just aren't that into you to begin with.

Sorry.

I beg to disagree. So much of these defends upon you bevause in the end its you who has control over your actions and more importanty your feelings

Just because you have control over your actions and your feelings does not mean you have that control over others.

For example You can't make someone love you or make them believe you love them if they don't want to.

Vows are only as good as the intent and follow through of the people making them. If one drops out then you only have the vows you made to yourself.

To often people think they can just keep a relationship going by holding up their side and it is with at some point a straw "man" and you have to face facts.