I know this has prob been talked about, but can't find exactly what I'm asking in other threads.

Two peeps recently ask me why I wouldn't give out my # right away.
I said because our #s have ALL our information that is so very simple to get in this web society. I have to at least have a comfortable "feel" about the person from messaging with them first. How they talk (type) out their ideas and desires can make or break it for me.
My bottom line question is....Am I being silly/over-thinking?
And, yes I am open to opinions from guys and gals.

it is silly not to be safe, so being safe is not silly. i guarantee i guarantee that you happen to be a silly girl, but you are acting safe. so be safe silly girl. godspeed, bulldog

(bulldog double guarantee - patent pending)

I agree with bulldog. Waiting until you've actually met them in person once or twice is not a bad idea especially in this day and age.

safe

why would i want to give out my number ?
am i not all ready getting enough spam on my cell and emails ?

I think you're right not to give your number to them, until you meet them. Very wise :)

absolutely not mel. if you're not comfortable, then there is areason your forebrain just hasn't figured out yet. if they can't be patient then it's prolly one more flag on the play for you

If they are the good kind of person they know you are worth the wait of feeling safe.

People who are pushy and aggressive about getting a phone number are going to carry those traits through out the relationship. Usually a "bad" relationship.

Is it a drag having to pay the price for the scumbags of the world? Sure but good people are not so desperate that they don't appreciate someone being smart. If anything I think it qualifies a potential interest in being worth it.

I was never that impressed by some one who comes running up on me right out of the gate. Experience has taught me that is the one who is desperate; usually for a reason of their own making.

Tell em to give you their telephone # and call them from a phone with the number blocked!

That is if protecting your privacy is the only barrier to verbal interaction.

But you are right to keep your personal information to yourself until you feel comfortable releasing it.

Not silly at all... if you're not comfortable with it then they can kick rocks

If you aren't comfortable giving it out then it isn't silly. No reason they can't talk to you here

Hi

absolutely not,I agree with you it takes me a very long time to trust someone enough with my phone number there are only about 5 or 6 people on mingle that have my number and to be quite honest that took me knowing them for a very very very long time.

IMO neither.


IMO it never reflects well on people that ask you to justify your behavior, most especially when it doesn't really affect them.

It's really none of their business why you wouldn't give out your # right away, or ever.


IMO you didn't really need to tell them anything and there's all sorts of ways around having to.

Also, IMO, if this was "really" how you felt then you would have just gotten a disposable phone from circle k or the grocery store, or you would use google voice or some app that hides your number with another.
You can keep your phone number private while calling in a myriad of ways.

If you are all that safety conscious you wouldn't put your picture up anywhere. People can use tineye or google or other things to look you up via your picture.
Sure, maybe you don't have any other pictures of you on the internet...how about your friends? Do they have pictures of you and them on the net?

People that are security conscious research and take measures to protect themselves, not only when it's a convenient reason not to do something for another person on a dating site.



So I don't think you are being safe, or silly.
I think you have other motives pushing you to do what you're doing.

Thank you for the replies.
It's nice to have others' opinions sometimes.

Best regard

Stick to your guns, girl.

Hi

if you gotta ask you already know

Ohhhh, you're just bein' silly. I can prove it. Post your number right here. You'll soon see that all your fears are unwarranted and all of the Mingle world is populated with only those folks you'd like to know.

Go on! Try it! I'm sure it'll all turn out ok.

Sad that scammers have to make it tough for all of us to feel safe but now a days it is only smart to error on the side of safety.

A few tricks scammers use to get your guard down.

They give you a phone number. You call it they have yours even if you have the number blocked. Laws that apply in the USA Canada do not apply in scammer havens where this is and I
"industry". Using a burner phone does not mean they won't be able to get your phone of origin that you give when you get the phone.


They have a variety of cell numbers that they use to call forward. There are scammer "Boiler rooms" all over the USA so it is safe to say their in other desirable countries. And they know where they can find a number that is rarely used and piggyback where the owner doesn't even know their number is being used. If yo trace a number to a nice address it is chances it is some senior or often absent owner that rarely uses the phone.

Don't be impressed by a nice address. Often they use and address, even photos of a nice home that is/was for sale that has been a video tour to swipe pictures from and photo shop in their profile images.

If you enlarge photos some times you can spot fakes but don't kid yourself they use these profile plates over and over to swindle thousands of unsuspecting online dates and they have it down to a science. While you may be talking to a soldier in a scam operation but don't kid yourself they have skilled people up the food chain and they ARE smarter than you are and they can get more info out of you than you know.

Just because they go away does not mean they don't sit on the information . Some scammers have been doing it for years; decades. They can come back and pick your pockets months even years later. And they sell the information they get so you become suddenly popular it is not because you finally have divine intervention.

The scammers have phonies imbedded in some of the scammer sites to know when they are being researched so if you find you have bitten into a toad don't tell them your sob story and alert them they have been busted. Just tell the date sites and get them deactivated. Or AT LEAST stop communicating.

DO NOT; I repeat DO NOT, paint a target on your back telling people you have been scammed. It is so much easier to dupe someone a second time because they want to believe it just could not happen again.

Often these scammers can have a ton of information about a professional and know where they went to school, what degrees they hold, and licenses they hold. If it is a service member they have every duty station and assignment they have ever been on and lots of photos.

Be aware that a common name is very hard to hide behind. And Common names of cities that exist all over the country are easy to hide and alias under. Some scammers use the same city name over and over.

Often scammers will claim attending private boarding schools for having and accent that does not match the local accent. Or living with a nanny or grandparent from another country. If they are using local slang, all kinds of slang dictionaries exist and they practice accents from television programming.

Never EVER think getting a gift is ANYTHING more than getting your address. Normal people do not give strangers romantic gifts before they meet them.

Never be impressed with and engagement ring. You can buy them for pennies on the dollar in a pawn shop or many are outright dime-store fakes and the emotional disarmament it does is priceless to a scammer.

Don't be impressed by someone being willing to go half on a ticket. That entitles them to all your information and they can cash the whole ticket for a full refund and be gone. Taking all your identity information with them.