I hope I'm posting this in the right place.

I've been around dating sites for a good while. There is one thing about people on dating sites that I have never really understood. You're talking to someone. Be it a man or a woman. Everything seems to be going good. And just about the time you start to think, "I wouldn't mind meeting this one." Or moving it to the phone, They go, POOF!! GONE!! They stop talking to you or answering your messages. And no reason. At least that you know of.

How does that make you feel when someone does you that way? Do you give a damn? I'm sure no one really dwells much on it much. But it does seem like really bad manners to me.

What do you think?

a lot of people here just because they feel lonely and in need to talk to someone, that is what chat forum for.
to me, if I see someone is cool, I usually asking to meet for coffee right a way, they must be in my city not in another state or over seas... it just me
have safe fun, enjoy whatever life offering you

yeah it may be, but what do you expect them to do, maybe say " listen, I don't want to talk to you anymore so don't message me... o.k.". Not many are going to do that..so I guess they tell you by not replying.

The reason is usually that they are talking to someone else and yes it has happened to me

The reasons vary. They met someone they like better. They didn't like something you said. Their husband/wife caught them on a dating site. Who knows.

Yes, it's happened to me.

Oh, I don't know about those other excuses Charles; living where I do...the power is 'IFY' the internet is 'IFY' my PC just got a hard reboot this morning and life can just really 'SUCK'...so try not to read to much into it!

But there's 'GREMLINS' out there

I don't know, I guess I'm the oddball. If I decide I don't want to talk to someone, I tell them. I try not to be hateful or mean when I do. I just tell them that I don't think after talking for a while that we are a good match. That's usually it. I don't hear from them anymore.

And as far as saying something that the person might not like, Well, I sure it's possible. But I have learned that when that happens, don't take everything so seriously. This is the Internet. Sometimes what you type may not come across exactly the way you meant it.

Ooooo I have stopped talking to more than one when they have said something I did not like but not without warning or a chance to.clarify

I've tried to nicely explain I was not interested, and I get arguments. I don't want to spend my time arguing with someone I don't want to talk to. That's why I got divorced

Maybe some people just run out of phone credit
Or is that just what they tell me.

I often think it is someone who a scammer and finds out that they just are not going to get any useable information or you don't have the money they hoped you had and they move on to the next victim.

I do think that there are a few married that are thinking about cheating and excuse themselves for "playing" on line then they figure out that sooner or later it is going to move to the real world and they better knock it off. I would like to think they feel guilty and are just too big a heel to admit they are jerking a real person around but sometimes the silent ditch is part of the gotcha I can get even a careful single.

A lot of it is because the "marrieds" are too cowardly or scared to admit they are fooling around because they can't remember if they have told you enough for you to find them and you might come after them and mess up their play.

I have ditched a few I have checked out and learned they were "full of it" about the whole "single" thing.

But the ones that are particularly rotten maybe have dependent children, or a pregnant wife, or a disabled wife I have really been tempted to set them up.

For the "rats" that lie I just hope you know what ever you are doing, your spouse can do better, and many of them do monitor your cyber playing and document it so when they are ready to "burn" you; you are going to be TOAST. By the time they are ready to tell you they have upgraded their skills, researched your assets, manipulated your common debts, and made nice-nice with the people that can hurt you most. I have even seen career and health be sabotaged. Those lay off selections and check up results you think gave you the "all clear" well don't stake your life on it.

.. thinks to himself..hmm.. this explains a lot..lol..

Haahaa oh my good doctor I know what your messages would be like. you could be an erotic fiction writer

.... I would be more than happy to spend my.. days. and evenings. and mornings.. just writing and reading..
. my works for you...mmm.. ..... now !crush me now..lol..
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Well I told one dude from the very beginning I am not interest in a getting married or seek person.That I am looking for basic friendship on here. I mean come on really. Nothing extreme and they still want to a do skype and yahoo. And well I was a liked I am getting feeling that green card thing that I heard about with one friend. He married this girl who was china girl and well she ditch after she married him soon after. But either way that is thing I heard anyway. Anyway that is one issue here.I do not see point in giving out messager to a people because aren't I doing same thing I am doing on here which is mailing a person or chatting them here.I am doing the same thing here.

It doesn't make me feel anything.
It's online.
Online is meaningless.
For all I know my grandmother has just disappeared on me since she hasn't written me an email for a few years and I have no idea if she ever will.


I think a lot of people think this is bad manners.
I don't think this behavior should be judged.

I mean rejection and breakups are similar in that there is never going to be a "good" way to do it.

And what would be the point in trying to reject someone in a "good" way online?
So you can remain friends?

What would you want? What would be "good" manners?

"Hi, I'm not interested in dating you, or meeting you, or really talking to you in any way anymore. I just want to be honest. Because that's 'good manners.'
I wanted to write you an email that continues a conversation I don't want to, ultimately inviting a response since 'good manners' also dictates if you get a message then you should respond to a message. So you will receive this and email me back something like 'ok, got it, good luck,' or, 'buy whyyyyyyyyyyy?!' or 'you suck!'
I don't care that I have at least a 2/3 chance of getting something that simply leads to escalating retribution of rejection and hostility because I want you to judge me as having 'good' manners.
So best of luck to you on your dating search and I hope we can remain friends. Oh, and thanks, I really really appreciate it if you read this and don't contact me at all because I have no desire to have anything to do with you."

Would that be good manners?

I think reacting to such situations shows 'entry' to the potential of developing a relationship ..was too fast and usually ends with that ... a poof! relationships are not a overnight sensation other times, maybe it was getting too real and they ran. Some people are not comfortable with 'feeling' for another we don't have control over anything so got get used to one just 'poofing' out.