Struggling daily with chronic pain, and the affects and changes it has had on my life, is difficult. Learning to find small pieces of joy and laughter have become a way of life. The tides ebb and flow, and I try to always hold in my heart the hope that the ebb and flow will continue. I will have bad days, sometimes horrible ones. I will have good days, sometimes really good ones. So far the laughter, joys, the beauty of nature, and kindness and love found in people I've met far out weigh the bad times. I pray it always stays that way, but it's not always easy. Hope springs eternal.

There is a difference between having a bad day and never having a good one. clinical depression may have been triggered by a tragic event or a series of them or there may be no reason to point to as to why you are feeling this way
I urge you to seek cognitive behavioral therapy from licensed professional and this may include a prescription for anti depressants if needed

So agree with this I would like to add a bit more of a description... Depression that starts out as mild can slide into clinical where the serotonin levels are being depleted from over tiredness, poor diet etc... With the stressors of living everyday life.

I have seen so many people that struggled with depression not understanding the why's of it. I also have seen many GP's or friends that have no clue how to deal with it.. Prescribing medications are great in the idea of stabilizing said person. When that is done the person needs the professional that is skilled in teaching new coping skills to recognize and offset the depression.

My depression came on slowly (months} and then engulfed me. Panic and anxiety came with it with a feeling like there was no way out from under it. Zoloft and Valium have helped a lot but I think being able to share these feelings with someone who understands helped me more than anything. Find someone who will listen and understand what you are going through. That helped me a lot. Good luck, let us know how you are doing. Prayers for you.

Oh, I also found that playing a game of some kind will help get your thoughts off depression. Solitaire was good for me.

Yes yes.....

All this is so true... With what I'm dealing with has me fatigued from the radiation therapy but I have to keep that smile on and stay positive if I'm gonna survive this cancer... Live happy, live healthy, live life with passion...

Best wishes and God be with you always.

My friend if you weren't struggling with Depression right now I would be very very worried about you...

A debilitating disease is one of the things that came into my mind.. Chronic fatigue is also one of the biggest causes of depression... All I can speak of is my experience with clients and myself... I know even after the radiation and chemo treatments were over I still needed help with the depression.

B6 has been proven to help and is found in comfort foods such as potatoes, also broccolli and thyme also and a hug is good too from the rigth person

Battling depression it does help to have a variety of tools in your tool box. I will add a few at a time.

The idea of playing a game that distracts you is a good one. As is just doing something that is soothing and pleasant. Puzzles, crafts, cooking, gardening, playing and instrument. If it is something that helps you bridge to others in a social setting it is also helpful. Sometimes it can be solitary but it is nice to just be around people without having to do a lot of talking how you feel. A lot of times their good stuff helps crowd out your bad stuff.

Being isolated by depression can amplify the symptoms. If you are not used to being around people and noise it can be more unnerving. Even if you have a really yucky day try to connect with someone for a wave hello or companionship from afar like enjoying a book and a coffee at the back table of your local caf� or walking through a garden somewhere. There are good drop in centers that "get" what it is to have a bad spell and can help you make friends and learn useful things or just feel safe. Look up Independent Living Center's or the National Alliance for the Mentally Ill as they have awesome programs and materials you can take from totally at your own pace.

Getting out and getting fresh air and daylight can become a sustaining and comforting habit. Yea you maybe only set on the front porch in your slippers the first day but if you get a pedometer and add 25 steps a day you will not be sore and gain momentum. A morning walk can help you organize yourself for the day or unwind for better rest in the evening. I am not big on people who are chronicallill having to be saddled with a chore of a pet every day but you can be someone's God Send if you walk their pet or just help their pet socialize with a gentle human. Just feeding the birds makes a lot of difference.

The computer is great for fellowship but it glows and messes with your sleep so set a timer and take a break and even turn it off a couple hours before you need to hit the sack. Good sleep habits and environment are a must if your body has to deal with chronic depression.

Good diet is important. We all get to have potato chips or popcorn days occasionally but if your diet is looking dismal it is hard for your body to feel good. If you are dehydrated you are going to feel like garbage even if you aren't depressed. Making a commitment to yourself to add one new food a week will make a huge improvement to your over all nutrition because you are bound to have a better variety of nutrients. Any fruit or veggie with color and whole grains can give you loads of antioxidents and lower your glutin and carbs. You aren't packing around the extra calories in fat because your body is hording what little good stuff it can get.

Last but not least do something nice for someone else every day. It can be a smile to a harried clerk somewhere, a silly email, pulling someone's trash can in, doing something someone who loves you ask you to do or at least taking the first step towards it. You will have something positive to account for your footprint in the world and your little kindness just might be the one good thing that happen to that fellow human being. Never underestimate the value in just being you. You don't know it but you create jobs and give others purpose in so many ways it is really kind of cool.

Very nice pacific.. Wise words always come from you.... I have made that lifestyle change and I love it... They have a group here at Stanford that I'm now a member of and it all counts so I'm stacking the deck in my favor as much as I can...

those that have truly experienced this know... my heart is with you for I know.

I suffer from chronic clinical depression. I have lived with this condition for most of my life. You can find the symptom list from a simple web search, but it does not really describe what it is truly like to live with this condition.

Most people know what it's like to get depressed. You lose a loved one, go through a breakup, or something of similar magnitude. Most people will get mildly depressed while grieving this loss. Then after a while they find ways to be happy again. Ways to move on with their life. With the passage of time most depression passes and people move on. Not me, or anyone like me.

I can't say for certain when my depression started. Maybe it was when I was a child and was uprooted from everything I knew to move across the country or a few years later having the same thing happen again. Maybe it was when I was a teenager and lost my best friend in a car antecedent. Maybe it was when I lost my first child. Maybe it was when I lost a couple more children. Maybe it was when my grandma died. Maybe it was when my mom died. Maybe it was when I lost my dad just a year later. Maybe it was when I left the mother of my children after 15 years together. Maybe it started long before I can remember and everything I've been through just added to it. Maybe it's just part of who I am.

Rather it is or not. I have learned how to deal with it and keep moving. It's not always easy, but I think it has made me the caring person I am today. So maybe some good came from it after all.

need i say more...

Flowers? I'm not dead yet!

'Resolve and Resilience From Panic' - "I'm grateful for the experience of my panic, because it taught me that there is no one-size-fits-all answer to panic and anxiety." [By: 'Rita Zoey Chin']



There was a time when basic things ��like driving, climbing a flight of stairs, taking a shower, or going through the checkout line at the grocery store; landed me somewhere between mortal unease and full-throttle terror. It all began with a single panic attack that seemed to strike out of the blue. Mistaking it for a heart attack, I called an ambulance, but I quickly learned that there is no ambulance for an alarm of the mind.


After the first panic attack, I was terrified another would come. And of course, another one came. Once again, the pounding heart, tunnel vision, shaking hands, and inexplicable fear for my life made me feel like there was no safe place in the world. So I began to avoid things that seemed to trigger my panic attacks ��exercise, being in confined spaces, being in open spaces, being in crowds, driving on the highway, etc. but it didn't matter: 'My panic would stop at nothing. I even panicked in my sleep'.


'A Trembling Wreck':


Within weeks, I had gone from a fully functional adult with a family and career to a trembling wreck who could barely function. So I went to the bookstore and bought an armload of anxiety books, then panicked my way through their suggested visualizations, meditations, and affirmations. Deciding I needed something more, I enrolled in an anxiety institute that uses cognitive behavioral therapy to help people gain control over their anxiety. With a 95 percent success rate, how could I fail?


Turns out, I was the unlucky five percent. In fact, during my sessions, my panic attacks worsened. I began to think I was 'hopeless', that this was my new life and I would have to accept it. Except, it wasn't a life at all.


So I continued to search for ways to ease my panic; acupuncture, massage therapy, crystal healing, energy work, breathing exercises, a handful of therapists, a personal gym trainer, smile therapy, and retail therapy (I even attempted to hire a dog sitter to sit with me); and while some of these things offered their own small reliefs, I was still besieged with panic attacks.


'Believing in Myself':

Something happened, though, during all of my searching: I started to believe in myself; just a little, but it was just not enough. So what if I failed a therapy that works on most people; I would find something that was right for me. And what I found was a strength in that in knowing I could trust myself to simply not give up. So I kept going.


It wasn't easy, but months later I found a gentle therapist who identified my panic disorder as part of PTSD stemming from my childhood. We began EMDR to process some of the trauma, and within weeks, the fear that had been consuming my life slowly began to recede.


Today I'm grateful for so many things. One is that I am no longer stricken with panic attacks. But more deeply than that, I'm grateful for the experience of my panic, because it taught me that there is no one-size-fits-all answer to panic and anxiety. Instead, we all have our own unique questions to ask, and our own unique paths to the answers.



'Rita Zoey Chin' is the author of 'Let the Tornado Come', the critically acclaimed memoir about her young life as a runaway, her journey through panic disorder as an adult, and the unexpected relationship with a horse who teaches her about fear. 'Rita' lives in the Boston, where she teaches at Grub Street, mentors at-risk teenagers, and surrounds herself with animals.












'Just Perfect'! "If I can do it, so can you. I believe in you. I believe in recovery." [By: 'Hanne Arts']




If anyone had told me several years ago that everything would get better, I would have nodded while screaming 'disbelief' inside my head. I thought things simply could not get better, that I'd be forever feeling imprisoned in a dark room.


While my friends went out, I chose to remain home. When I went to parties, I couldn't help but think I'd have had a better time on my own. Even when surrounded by others, I felt shut-out, as if I were different from everyone else. And when I found myself in intensive care in the hospital, I couldn't even bring myself to reclaim my life.


'Eating Disorder Rooted in Depression':


It took time, but even I (so skeptical) learned to envision a recovery. And I envisioned myself writing about my recovery, helping others even if I wasn't quite sure if I would recover. I battled my inner demons for four more years. I thought I wanted to be 'perfect', but it turns out that I never quite knew what that really was.


But I'm a survivor, living proof that if you put your mind to it, you can overcome your struggles. If I can do it, so can you. I believe in you. I believe in recovery.


I was diagnosed with 'anorexia nervosa' in 2009, although the roots of my illness came from a depression long unnoticed. I received therapy for about four years from two different therapists. When I moved to Slovakia last year, I got a new therapist who is very patient and a great listener.


'Her Best Remedy':


However, my greatest remedy is writing. My novel, 'Just Perfect', is based on the difficult times I've gone through. It took me more than three years to write, but it was definitely worth it. I wanted my work to inspire and help others by sharing my own struggles. I wanted to persuade people that they are not alone and that they, too, have a life worth fighting for.


Writing also lifted a heavy burden off of my shoulders. Penning my thoughts and battles was vital, as was the incessant help of my family. Because you can't win this kind of battle on your own, I urge you to find that person to open your heart to. Speaking with my sister helped me tremendously, preventing my chaotic mess of thoughts from piling up and making me feel more miserable. Without family support, I would not have been able to fight as bravely as I did.


I just want to stress that you, too, should not keep it all locked up inside. So if you have anything you want to discuss or need to let go, I hereby offer you my listening ear in case you ever feel the need because I know you are worth fighting for. I'm sure of it. To all the fighters, don't give up; and don't be afraid to talk to family, friends, or a professional. I know you can do it. Build trust in yourself and make it happen!




'Hanne Arts', who lives in Slovakia, wrote her novel, 'Just Perfect', hoping to help others struggling with depression and eating disorders understand that they are not alone, and that they can overcome their inner demons. "I hope with all my heart," she says, "that it will help you on your road to recovery."

So many helpful,loving hearts. We need more people like you.

just chill out

So glad to see all the loving and generous contributions on this thread today.

Makes me think of the Penny dish at the cash register. Take one if you need it and leave one when you got it.

I am not sure what I want to write about today.

I think I will give "Living in the Uncomfortable Rut" a shot.

Depression/Anxiety is often hallmarked by a series of losses and trying to shield yourself from them.

If the majority of your relationships have been dominated by pain and loss it is hard to know how to find one that isn't. We pick the kind of people we know. I wonder sometimes if that is it is easy to live with the devil we know rather than be overwhelmed by the devil we don't know. I do think you can have a better shot of getting out of the rut if you find people who are not so bogged down in it with you. I don't buy that misery loves company. I don't buy that the sum of me that is still by majority good does not give someone in my future so much more than it will take away.

Sometimes we over compensate and get so isolated because we can't find a perfected enough partner to let into our lives. Seeking perfection is like looking for unicorns. When you almost get close enough they evaporate in the mist. Or they figure out we are too heavy for their fragile frames. Unicorns like all horses have failings; you ever mucked a horse stall? That takes devotion to even the most majestic animal. Maybe there is a unicorn out there that doesn't leave deposits but seems like whenever I have chased one I usually fell face first in one. Probably why I finally got where I enjoy the illusion but try to look at the steady mule that is patient and hard working and says "Show Me " what you have to offer before they nuzzle up. For those of faith you ever wonder if the Power that be was suggesting who we should travel our difficult roads with?

Many of us have tried pets and yea sometimes that is easier. A pet doesn't talk back, lie to you, or rarely does anything spiteful. You meet a pets needs they will hang around. I hear my birds cooing in the back ground and think am like the bird in the comfortable cage? I would like to think I will spread my wings and fly if I have the opportunity. I suppose there are worse things than being a peaceful soul with birds. I hope I have the courage to seek the bird fancier who fancies me. Each day I seem to go to the park looking. Is that a good habit or opening the door?

I do think there are forces that try to put us in a rut. I am sure many think that is safer or more predictable , even tolerable , than our sadness and terrors. Shame on them but bless them for trying to keep us out of the ditch. I know as a Mother I put a few "baby bumpers" up to protect my kids. And for a while they did. But really there is nothing so glorious as a toddler taking off and strutting across the room even if they have a skinned nose. Pleas make me brave enough to try and knock down some of my bumpers. If it is dealing with the medication roulette one more time to get it re-aligned and feel really as good as I know I can. Or going to a meeting. I get some are a bust but the good ones sure make life easier. I could not share what I did not learn. Or bighting the bullet and buying the supplemental policy so the inevitable hospital stints don't trash my credit. I know putting the comfortable pajamas and a "Safe" set of clothes, a current medical summary in the hospital bag will make that more bearable/productive. I "get" there are things I can do that make it less needful to have "bumpers". I believe it makes those that do stand by me know I am doing "my share".

I look around my "rut" and wonder if it is even bearable for another person. I wonder if my home is a window to my soul? I hope so. It may seem cluttered with it's affirmations and whimsical toys but the message is hear. There are dots of happiness that I am proud of and a few of pain. I am a real person. Tread lightly and I will make you very comfortable. Yea there are three bolts on the door but patience and kindness will give you the keys much faster. I think I could let go of some of the dead weight. Blessed are those who don't try to "fix" me and really mess up what is working. Some of my best days are when those who have walked the road just come hang out. Remind me to keep those jewels in my life. Let me be that if your life needs it.



PS No I don't think your dead. It is because you are living anyway that I celebrate you.

Thank you PS48.