thank you for your compassion...

I wish that men that cheat would realize what hurt they leave behind, especially when there are children involved. Mums will do anything for their kids and this includes the sacrifice of wanting to make a future work with someone who may not other wise deserve a second chance.

In days gone bye... women did that. They really had no choice. Later some women used 'staying for he kids' as an excuse. But for what? Children are not stupid, nor do they forget. They will not love her more. They grow up & leave, as it should be.

At least now, there is outside help & kids can respect a mom for standing alone, instead of resenting her for staying & being foolish or worst.. a door mat.

You're very beautiful

there comes a time in a relationship when it may no longer be wise to put the needs of your children or what you perceive their needs to be ..above your own. You do deserve to be treated with respect. I wish you the best in whatever choice you make

How do you move on from a 20 year failed relationship?

Same way you move on from a twenty minute one. No, not "just dust yourself off and flush your feelings."

No matter how deep the hurt, you work on it one small bit at a time. Examine your feelings, and sort them out into separate bits:

one category for your fears that your loss somehow means that you are at fault;

one category for your sense of loss of how you envisioned your life going forward, and how the mess you're in might reflect on your having been unrealistic;

one category for your immediate anger at the people who straight up betrayed you;

and at least one more category for the stuff you aren't sure where it belongs yet.

The rest of it is like cleaning up a dirty house. take it one room, and one mess at a time. Work out the answers for yourself, to each little bit.

You are so right... I have realized that for once in my life I now have to look at making ME happy and also making sure my daughter is safe and happy.... We both deserve happiness...

yes you do

Well I am going to be the sad sack here...Cheaters are not gender bias it is said person whichever gender...Decides to cheat they aren't thinking about children, supposedly loved ones..They are thinking of their gratification...




Again I have seen to many "Mums" not do this, yes the stat's are high that women do and yet, I have seen some daym good men step up to the plate and be way better fathers than the mothers..
So gain this isn't gender bias this is person decided.

I believe each person has to decide what they will accept and what they won't. That is different for each person..

I have long held a saying...
I will stay with you til staying
becomes harder and will hurt more than
leaving the day that happens I am gone

Sad to say I often wonder if the cheating isn't to punish not only the Moms but the children. I can't tell you the number of cheaters that complained how they were being shortchanged because the other parent was focused , rightly so, on the entire family and the most vunerable which is usually the children. Most cheaters have and arrested emotional development like young children that see themselves as the center of the universe and everyone, even their children, need are secondary. They can care less how much shame, self blame, or hardship their children endure.

There is something to be said that a true parent knows when it is better to be FROM a broken home than LIVE in one. Children learn what they live. If you allow them to see one parent abuse the other weather it is physically, emotionally, financially or socially that is what you are teaching about adult hood and what your values are regardless of how you personally act. You can not talk the talk with out walking the walk. You allow someone to cheat on you then you are being a doormat and teaching your children that is their legacy from you. If you stand up and say NO in no uncertain terms then you confirm your values. you also give your children a choice to see that your values have merit and are worth following.

I concur, Men and women are just as bad as each other. when you have been cheated on repeatedly it's easy to think that "all men/women are bad" but it's just not like that. Men and women have been cheating on each other since they started diddling each other with their ding dongs. Only difference is that since the liberation of women in the last 100 years it has become less taboo for women to "behave" like men who lets face it have had the rule of the roost for way too long! It's down to the individual which is the best option for them, For me for whatever reason cheating is just not an option and there really is no excuse. Communication and respect go along way. I try not to think about the negative involved in a relationship breakdown, I'm experiencing one right now and yes it hurts like hell but it's not the end of the world. In UK we have a saying "life begins at 40" I turned 40 two weeks ago as I was being told I was no longer wanted. I had left my home, My family and my friends to live in a foreign country to be with my partner and after 8 months it just went south. I am traveling back next week with a positive attitude. We both lost out in my opinion but is it the end of the world..NO! Don't see it as the end of anything, It is merely the beginning of something else that could be a whole lot better. Keeps me from losing my mind!!!!

Hey Reg
I have been told you can get a pill to help you. Lol maybe exercise it? Just some ideas.
Don't measure everyday lol its like weight don't do it everyday. Ok lol hope that helps.