I know someone who is being told she has to take her abusive ex back because he says he is sorry now. She does not want to because he beat the stepkids almost to death. what do you think she should do? I think she should leave the area and never look back.

is this a serious question? give her the number of a domestic abuse women's shelter

I don't think anyone should encourage her to go back. I was in an abusive relationship and leaned on my friends and family to not for the sorry.

Something like this takes more than sorry

She needs to be safe and keeps her kids safe. But she has to make that call

I think you're right.

If she is out then she needs to stay out. She needs to call a domestic hotline or support group. She needs help to get through it.

IMO, Once you take the trash out to the curb, you don't bring it back in. You don't follow the garbage truck around town, you don't go to the dump and visit it.

The most dangerous time for a woman is when or after she leaves.
Statically this is when they are murdered & sometimes other people are also.
She must go to a shelter, file a restraining order & relocate & never ever look back.
No good bye' s nothing. She is fighting for her & her children's lives.
To hell with what other people think. .

When Smith and Wesson talks.....people listen.

Tell her to take his flowers and shove them.

My sister was abused during her marriage, and the family rallied behind her and she left. And then she went back to him, because he said 'sorry'! It happened again, and she packed her bags, got her own place and got a divorce.

Many years down the road, he seemed to have mended his ways.... and they got back together again, a seemingly happy family. Then....out of the blue, she moved out again...and this time, the daughter was the one who make the call!

I wish I could say and believe abusers can change.... but yet to see one! I wonder if anyone who has been an 'abuser' would ever own up that they were one, that they tried to mend and what the heck was going up in that mind of theirs when they raised their hands.

the abuser and those being abused need prolonged therapy to effect a true change.

the abuser can be genuinely sorry in the time of remorse.
yet it doesn't last because of whatever deep rooted issues that trigger the aggression.

a recuperating victim needs time and therapy to recover their sense of self.

tell your friend to think of herself and the kids. to seek professional counseling and surround herself with a network of support.

best wishes and a prayer for your friend and family

Sorry for what; not killing her or her step-kids? The people who tell a women to take this kind of dirt bag back are the same people who will have her locked up, take her kids away from her or whatever is left of her stuff, or blame her when he beats her again, or dance on her grave as he spends her life insurance money partying with them.

The ones who suggested leaving and not looking back for parts unknown are right. Unless he, AND his people, do not know where she is to continue the mental abuse, and any other kind of abuse, they will.

Personally I think if she is allowing him to abuse the kids the likely hood is she is not going to tell anyone but people who will not report it and stay near or with him so she is every bit as messed up as he is and deserves to be reported as like.

The comment that leaving this kind of creep and his supporters is dangerous is right but staying with him is a death sentence.

I agree I'm scared right now. That's discusting

step kids beaten to near death ? how is this guy not still in jail ??

injury to a child is a serious felony...in a case like this there would be
mandatory jail time meted out...if she were complicit in hiding the crime, those
children should be taken away from both of them before she has a chance to
even consider letting him back into those kids lives.....jmo w/o knowing the full facts...

I was thinking the same thing. And the OP said " step kids ". .. so who's kids? Where is the other parent, that is doing nothing? Where is the family? The neighbors? The teachers? ....
No one has done anything?
But what they say, is important ?

I'm not sure I'm buying this.... or it is a really messed up community.

Sad to say but Usually when kids are being abused a lot of people know it for years. It is a case of "they, somebody, anybody" should do something but they don't get involved. "People " will say how terrible it is but do they pick up the phone and actually call anywhere and report; maybe 1%? Will they testify in court? Will they let go of one thin dime for after school day care, clothes, children's shelters, or even orphanages so these kids have somewhere to go? Anyone want to guess how difficult it is to find foster homes? Anybody spent a buck to see to it the one in four kids in their own neighborhood school is going to be hungry even gets free school lunch? But the average person shells out a couple of grand a year to keep a pet. Seems wrong we have no kill shelters for abandon animals but not children.

Excellent point. I think the " doing nothing about it "... I just can't phantom. I lost count of how many times I have called the cops on 'domestic distubances' (I loath that phrase) & called the toll free, child abuse hot line (which can be done animosity).

And I have seen the woman's , male relatives seek there own justice (epecially if a restraining order was broken & the cops did not make an arrest).

And I have seen women start their lives over, after relocating. And I have seen men move on to the next girl friend/ victim.

I just don't get it.

I know people who aren't taking part in the whole mandatory insurance and Obamacare system.

Doesn't matter who you are, you are going to constantly be told you should do something.

And they will always have reasons why it's for your own good to do it.


Then that's pretty much enough reason not to do something.
Nothing else matters, except to the people that believe they own the world and everyone else has to come up with justifications for their own self determination.


Become a mega trazillionaire, rule the world, buy a bunch of babies and use stem cell research to turn them into a mighty mutant super healing army that can't be defeated!!

Otherwise, I think what she should do is whatever she feels is her best option in her situation.

You don't really offer all that much relevant information.
For all I know she lives in a culture that if she doesn't take the guy back then her family and community will stone her to death and if she attempts to leave the compound the dogs will get her.

The first thing she needs to do is stand her ground and NOT take him back. The next thing she needs to to do is invest in a Ruger because legal documents are only paper to guys like that.

its not always as easy as it sounds but get away...