Georgy Porgy pudding and pie,
kissed the girls and made them cry.
When the girls came out to play,
Georgy Porgy ran away.

"He's very shy" Bo Peep declared,
and some may say he's running scared!"
"Has he fooled you!" Miss Muffit said.
"He's very partial to my bed,
And when he dated Tinkerbell,
he had that Fairy Liquid smell!"
Said Goldilocks "What utter rot,
he's always at my porridge pot,
He may be shy with other folks,
but he knows where to get his oats!"

"Such nonsense!" said Red Riding Hood,
"He's with my grandma in the wood,
He chases her both back and forth,
and you won't hear her crying wolf!"
Snow White then asked, "How can that be?
He mostly spends his nights with me!
He's now a full grown lad of course,
which beats the socks off seven dwarfs!"
The Sleeping Beauty slowly stirred,
and said "I don't believe a word,
Your toes would curl if you could see,
his other way of waking me!"

The fairy on the Christmas tree
said "How I wish that it were me!
It's difficult to have much fun,
with a fir tree rammed up your bum!"
Cried Mary to her little lamb,
"Oh what a foolish girl I am!
He swore to me his heart was mine,
but he was cheating all the time!
And though I may retain his heart,
he time-shares all his other parts!"

"Oh woe is me, I am undone"
cried Polly-Put-The Kettle-On.
"Speak for yourself. I can't complain,
"laughed Sukie-Take-It-Off-Again!
The Queen of Hearts with malice said,
"I've been betrayed. Off with his head!"
Called Alice through the looking glass,
"Forget his head, we want his arse!"

Sobbed Little Polly Flinders,
while sweeping up hot cinders,
"He may be trash, but in the ash,
his memory still lingers!"
Snapped Margery Daw from her see-saw,
"I can't see what he chose you for!
When he's around, I charge three pounds,
before we start our ups and downs.
Since special offers I've denounced,
my surcharge is two pence a bounce.
Which after all is only fair,
to compensate for wear and tear!"

So Polly said, "Don't you look rough!
It's clear that you don't charge enough,
So ask five pence and with that sum,
you'll get a better nose job done.
For though I don't mean to be rude,
your boob-job doctor should be sued,
And really dear you should complain,
and get that face-lift done again!"
"Your skin's too tight, do you suppose
your mouth might vanish up your nose?
So next time make him do it right so you
can close your eyes at night!"

"At our expense he has his fun,"
yelled Mary the contrary one,
"He used to make my garden grow,
until that day he hurt me so,
When I found out that cheating flirt
now chases Cinderella's skirt!
I cannot wait, I must confess,
until he fumbles in that dress.
When he finds out that she's a bloke,
he'll run so fast his socks will smoke!

"Look, there he goes!" Miss Muffit yelled,
"He's sprinting like he's jet propelled!"
That's Cinderella close behind,
I've heard she's the possessive kind!"

And that's how Georgy first began
as our five thousand metre man,
A champion runner of his day,
he now no longer runs away.
For he is living in a shoe,
with wife and children, twenty two.
And though they're running out of space,
from furthering the Human Race,
He seems contented and serene,
remembering where the runner's been!