My children are driving me crazy. I don't think my mind is set for going through all this.everyday is something different. I feel so lost all the time. I am emotionally tired of all the crap I'm going through. My 15 year old and I seems we might come to blows. My question is how do I find myself because I am lost, confused, angry, depressed, sad, lonely. I need help God now.

I'm not a parent so maybe people who are parents will also join the conversation.
my best advice is to seek help either through your church or through family counseling.
saying a prayer for you and sending you a hug

what a precious honest painful post.

for when one first understands and holds to one self must create the free will want of all others with it's own words and actions, instead of believing that others are "supposed" to be anything or something...

then the hurdles become small, and the clarity becomes large.

peace&smiles

those feelings are natural,, parenting(when done actively) is not a simple task,,,,,it is a job for sure


the advice here so far is on spot,, find someone to speak with, who can relate to you, who cares about what you are going through,, parenting was not really meant as a single person job,,,

don't be ashamed or embarrassed to receive some help sometimes,,,

you still need to look after you, not just your kids,,,,good luck and Godspeed

Ok Deep breath time.

If your kids are not driving you a little crazy then you should really worry so they are probably just normal kids and you will have better days and maybe even a few worse but least it won't be boring.

Your mind is set for doing this but you might need to re-organize it a bit, and maybe even rest it, or train it with the necessary skills to parent but you were born with love for your child, even when they are being a pain, and that will get your through.

And yes everyday is something different. You can cry about that or Thank GOd for it because if it was the same old same old then something is really wrong because the only consistent thing about thriving children is every day there is something new and different. Think of it as a gift and it won't seem so punishing.

I really doubt you are lost ALL the time but just having a bad spell. The good news is you came to a good place to find experienced parents and they can help guide you in your decision processes with out beating you up in person. If you pick a few areas you are struggling with and research the threads I bet there is one right on what ever you find most distressing. There are a lot of varied skills around in the membership and you can often find someone who is good at the things you are not.

If you are going through a lot of "crap" you may have to edit your life a bit. Not knowing what is got you especially worked up I can't really say where to start but what worked for me was getting a journal and writing what it was that really bugged me and then tried to head off some of the things that kept re-occurring.

If you have someone busting your chops like and EX, Parents, even the job you can always enlist an intermediary, turn off your phone, and just hang up when the BS starts. If you KEEP your private business to yourself and avoid paths that lead to confrontation, eventually they usually drop off the map from boredom.

If you have money problems, and really what single parent doesn't, you are probably going to have to upgrade your financial skills and downgrade your spending/lifestyle. Forget pride and Focus on Modest, manageable, and basic. Get a budget for this month and long term; and stick with it. If you need supplements then apply to every program as early and often as you have a change; that is what they are there for. Don't know where call 311 for and experienced confidential free counselor and go by facts not what some lame brain tells you.

School problems are often resolvable if you enlist the school staff starting with the te4achers but not over looking that there are those with more say and you need to not be afraid to advocate for your kid and yourself as a parent. Kids in crisis have special laws that help them and often your school district office can get you on board with programs to help. If you are about to come to blows with a 15 year old I doubt the problem developed over night but there are a lot of resources in school, parks an recreation, church, and through mental health that can turn down the pressure and bring back the working order of your family. Domestic violence is NEVER the answer but often Domestic violence programs do have some great answers.

How do you find yourself? Well you already know the answer to that because you envoked it in your last sentence. Have a conversation with God. Not just yelling and beating your hands on his chest but actually looking into your faith and seeing what he says about your life and finding order in it. A good place to start is finding a Bible or other faith book and seeing what comfort is there. If getting to church is a challenge you can always watch on TV or listen on the radio but one thing that helps a lot getting some order in your life is having a day of rest and spiritual renewal by going to a church. Luckily many know the challenges of single parents and have addressed it in their mission statement. Look on line and make some phone calls. Sometimes the Mega churches offer more but it is the smaller intimate churches that often make you part of the church family if you are willing to step up and do your share. I found great peace just pulling weeds at my church and when I am calm it rubbed off on my kids. Are all church people ideal? Nope but you can find a few that will help you be a better you as they strive to be a better them.

Good Luck. I am around if you want to email.

STOP trying to be everything to everyone. remember your human not a machine. while you are raising these kids find short cuts to do things, for example your 15 year old everyday show him or her that you love them by doing something small eg make a sandwich for him or her (it might sound silly but trust me he or she will remember that) then everyday before bed or in the morning say I love you. again he or she will remember that. spend a day with your kids a week or every couple of days a real family day, you don't have to spend loads of money (I stopped doing that also even when they give me the sad eyes lol) the rest of the week show your there by telling them you love them but start concentrating on YOU and your life because if you fall apart what then eh. parenting is not hovering over your kids and giving yourself extra worry making yourself ill, parenting is making sure your kids know you love them regardless of how irritating they are sometimes, parenting is always being there as a stand post your children can come back to if there lost or if they just want comfort. so stop busting your balls and relax nobody is a perfect parent that's why our kids love us even when there shouting I hate you ( my son at the minute) your son loves you he is just more hormones than human at the minute lol. if he is not busting into cars or fighting he will be fine trust me. your kids will see you at your worst and your best because your always there, well it the same for them your just experiencing his worst. don't worry everyone's kids are annoying to them at some point, what your feeling is normal trust me I feel it when ive got no wine or chocolate in lol.

ps don't worry your doing a great job

All of the advice so far is cool When I was a single parent (my guys are grown now and doin' ok. I must not have been too bad a screw-up) we made time to do stuff together. That was LOTS harder after they hit their teens, but we worked at it.

Pick your battles. Some stuff just isn't worth stressin' over. If what they do isn't destructive, doesn't violate YOUR principles, won't hurt them, shine it on.

It's not necessarily rebellion; might just be the kid trying to find a place in their world. Not every situation is Armegeddon. Your stress level will thank you.

Do all that you can to be involved. If you take the time to understand them, them understanding you is unavoidable.

And after all that, throw up your hands, shout at the top of your lungs 'Are you sure you aren't aliens?!' Laughter is a great stress buster. Find something about this that amuses you. It's a physical law - for every action there's an equal and opposite reaction. Hunt for it. It's a lot more productive than tearin' your hair out.

Go on a date. Regularly. Leave the rascals at home and find time for you. The date doesn't even have to include anyone else. Pretend. Go buy cotton candy and ride the Tilt-a-Whirl. Wander the zoo. Skip pebbles at the lake. Take pictures of humming birds and butterflies. Engage in a hobby. Drive for miles and miles and miles. Make YOU time. It's cool if you can share it, but it's not strictly necessary.

Bright Blessings and good luck. You CAN fix this, y'know.