So, I have come to the conclusion.....Flirting is dangerous!

When I made this observation, a friend promptly replied that he would put that on his headstone.

I made a blunder...and now I have lost a friend. Sometimes flirting should not be allowed to happen....at all, period. And when one party doesn't accept that kind of flirting, a friendship is at risk. It may spell the end of that friendship....but frankly, it was not rejection! Just that it could be misunderstood or be carried too far, and become uncomfortable, or it is just too soon, too early ......thus, the dangerous label!

Hmmm......what am I talking about?

((((Ame))))

You need a hug ((((((Ame))))))...

I do......really I do! Weepy...too! Thanks, Leigh!

Stop flirting with her..

Thanks Ana...
I think I will go climb into that shell for a while!

Hi (((((Mekay)))))

Hi (((Leigh))) uhmwaahhh..

flirting bad...noooooo..lol

Yeah; flirting can be dangerous as you could attract the wrong person and there are lots of nutters out there.

<-- Double nutter, at least the last time I checked.

You telling me?????
Yeah, right......I have been BAD GIRL!!

Yeah.....got those too! Lots and lots of them out there!

The last time i flirted with a woman we had a 3year serious relationship together .....Ive never flirted after that in the real world.....but i do it online once in a while

Yes, you're right.
And I do agree with your opinion, navygirl. :)

Flirting is communication and requesting feedback.
It's thinly veiled "I want to sleep with you, do you want to sleep with me?"

And you either mean it, which means there's a potential for follow through, or you don't mean it so you are simply teasing someone.

If you are teasing them it's either to manipulate feedback out of them to try and explain what's going on in the relationship because communication sucks and you need to put it through a familiar script, or as a means to use them to vent your frustrations from other aspects of your life.


Friendships are like any other relationship and group.
They have absolute boundaries that are accepted and enforced.
If you don't respect the boundaries of the friendship relationship, then there is nothing that defines what it is. Making the relationship meaningless, insecure, and unsafe. All of which are types of relationships people tend to avoid.

If you flirt with a friend and that isn't within the accepted boundaries of the relationship you are ultimately saying that you either don't value the relationship, it is nothing more to you than a toy, you don't value them as a person farther than an extension of your own desires and ego, or you never put in the effort towards decent communication.


Making mistakes and dealing with the consequences.
Maybe learning from the mistakes?

It sounds like you flirted with someone and it was not well received.No worries for most people when we flirt and its not returned we get a little embarrassed. His loss, I am sure there are a lot of men who wish you would flirt with them.

Yeah.....I did make a mistake in not defining the boundaries, and letting my guard down. So, I guess I did cause this....and will have to learn from this mistake. Can't afford to lose friends just because the flirting got out of control. I will just have to yell stop from the word go next time....if there is a next time!

Some of my other friends flirt all the time and it was ok. We knew where we stand. I think it depends on the individual.... I may have misunderstood or underestimated how serious the other person look at the way things were going.

Our self esteem and vulnerability is at play here....so, I just need to be careful in future. But sometimes, I'm saying it again here ....stop does not mean it is a rejection, it means slow down, we need more time to get to know each other without this complication. The journey is long.... we need to explore further!

Yeah...flirting is dangerous, and like someone said, even on line chats are 'dangerous'!