Hi again, thanks for all your insights. What really did surprise me was the low number of selections from my advanced search - 16? OLD really is a numbers game. Now I know how those people feel who say they are from a small town & there is no one available for them to date. I can see how affairs between married people get started LOL!

Yes "settled" may be a harsh term coming from a single woman but...if something about your mate bothers you every day or there is a trait lacking that you notice regularly & there's been no change well...if you stay then that's settling to me. You've weighed the pros & cons & decided it's less trouble to put up w/it than not. There is no denying that it changes how you view & value the other person. It could be anything: sex, personal habits, confidence (you'd be surprised how many of my successful friends wish their men were making more $$ than them or doing something to TRY to make more $$, it's not even about the $, what I hearing is a lack of ambition, drive or this lack of confidence comes out in other areas of the RS). Men think the same things too. For example the 50 y.o. men who divorce after 20 years of marriage & then marry 22 y.o. model/aspiring actress etc., they won't "settle" for a woman closer to their own age, if they can get someone more attractive.

Anyway...had another scammer (even they won't settle!) today so I'm back on track LOL! Have a good Friday night...

And the problem with dating sites is that you have little else to go on than a picture, so you tend to solely focus on looks.
Maybe you remember the popular guys at school that everyone wanted? They weren't always the good-looking hunks, often a far cry from that, yet every girl was in love with 'em.. Same thing with girls..
Often someone who's not all that good-looking can be(come) very attractive just because of their personality, the way they carry themselves.
I mean, let's be honest here, 99% of the human race aren't exactly model material. Still most of them are attractive to at least 1 other person..
Beauty & being considered attractive is in the eye of the beholder..

And things you don't like... have you ever met someone that you liked 100%?
It just depends what it is you don't like about someone and if you can live with it or not. And that should be a careful consideration, cos yes, we can be -way too- fussy.

I still believe the best way to meet someone good is real life, not a dating site. Works for a mere handful, not for most, otherwise there wouldn't be a gazillion of singles anymore.
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Your words are real and very wise. I agree with you Crystal well said.

Just did an "advanced search" on this site: where you put in the specs. for everything you want incl. religion/hair/kids: real detailed. 16 men came up in the results, using the 15 mile filter, out of the profiles of 5 that were physically attractive to me there were no interests/lifestyles in common. So, back to blocking scammers.

I also don't find any of my gf's husbands/boyfriends attractive at all, does that mean that all of these intelligent, successful women just settled based on personality traits over physical attraction? To hear them talk each of their guys has specific problems they deal with regularly as to behavior etc...so what was the point of settling if you can't say EVERYTHING about him is great except for one thing. Seems like if it's more than one thing then everyday will be a compromise with this person? (& yes I know that my friends may not be telling me the whole story but I'm basing this on what I do know about them).

Can it really be that hard to find someone that I will enjoy spending time with both dressed AND naked? Oh, BTW the second man I've met through this site (1st used a decade old photo & he didn't age well) intimated that I might enjoy going to a gun range (one of his hobbies NOT listed in his profile). Sighhhh...

Well - picky, I think we all are picky in some way or another, depends what is basic for us, what attracts us. Yes, physical appearence is important - how many of us replies to someone without seeing his/her photo? But it doesn� t have to be just about pretty face - for instance, there are guys who look great but I won�t be interested and I totally fell for a man who used to ask me why I want to be with someone who looks like a monkey. But he had a similar sense for humor and when he smiled he had sparks in his eyes. It wasn�t enough though.
I also have a friend who told me he absolutely fell in love with a woman which he would never choose seing only her photo on a dating site.
So, for me - being picky is natural and ok, but don�t let chance to meet someone you can feel good with just because of his appearence on photo.
Besides some people are just not photogenic and look better in reality then on photos

Hmmm. I think physical attraction is important, even if it's definitely not the main focus. The men here are being hypocritical when they talk about soul and looking beyond the skin. Males are fixated on the visual. Unfortunately, either the man is good looking but shallow/lacks character and dull, or intelligent and sweet but physically unappealing. It's difficult to find the right combination.

I've changed my mind (for today anyway). Just saw something under Yahoo -article listing some of the bf's/so's of the Victoria Secret "Angels" models. Some of the guys were somewhat attractive but I noticed that there were only 3 listed as either husbands or fianc�s, the rest were just under the title of boyfriend.

So, if these physically desirable women aren't in committed (ie marriages)relationships, they are they settling too? Today he's my bf, tomorrow he might not be & I'm getting another one type of thinking?