Topic: When is it best to start looking again
oblivious1981's photo
Fri 11/14/14 09:07 PM
Well here goes. Me and my wife separated five months ago. She moved her boyfriend in the day after it was over. I have been taking time to get my head straight so I just started trying these type of sites. the divorce will be done soon I hope..... is it still to early or am I jumping the gun....

dreamerana's photo
Fri 11/14/14 09:13 PM
Edited by dreamerana on Fri 11/14/14 09:23 PM
welcome to mingle.
I can't speak for all women, but for me, the word separated means married and unavailable. to pursue anything with a married person is like helping them commit adultery.
when should you look for someone new? when you've taken the time to grieve and heal from your lost relationship. when you have taken the time to know the person you are now. people change over time and with life experiences.
only you will know when you are ready to love again.
wishing you all the best on your search.

no photo
Fri 11/14/14 09:15 PM
My question is.....why is it so easy for women to move on and jump into a relationship so fast .....i duno If men do that coz i dont



If she has moved on i dont see any reason why U shouldnt

dreamerana's photo
Fri 11/14/14 09:17 PM

My question is.....why is it so easy for women to move on and jump into a relationship so fast .....i duno If men do that coz i dont



If she has moved on i dont see any reason why U shouldnt


not all women are like that

oblivious1981's photo
Fri 11/14/14 09:18 PM
yea I guess some of us are still old fashion in a sense.

oblivious1981's photo
Fri 11/14/14 09:20 PM
I put separated on purpose so that it is known that I am still married. we have two children together but it is over and she moved on before it ended. its just a matter of time till I get the divorce finalized. but thank you for the advice it is welcome here

buttons's photo
Fri 11/14/14 09:36 PM
I think it is different for everyone.. but I would say after your divorce is final.. end what you have going first before you try to start something else. for me the last time I broke up with my bf of 2 yrs.. I didn't even date for over a yr. now its been 2 yrs and ive dated three guys one date for one, two for another and a month for the third one... none were for me.. so I haven't dated since the last one which was july.. good luck to you.

Amelinng's photo
Fri 11/14/14 09:36 PM

welcome to mingle.
I can't speak for all women, but for me, the word separated means married and unavailable. to pursue anything with a married person is like helping them commit adultery.
when should you look for someone new? when you've taken the time to grieve and heal from your lost relationship. when you have taken the time to know the person you are now. people change over time and with life experiences.
only you will know when you are ready to love again.
wishing you all the best on your search.


I agree with Dreamerana....! Good advice flowerforyou
A relationship on the rebound may not be stable....so, take your time to heal first!



My question is.....why is it so easy for women to move on and jump into a relationship so fast .....i duno If men do that coz i dont


Sorry, Romeo dear....but I beg to disagree! Maybe for some women they might jump into a relationship, but NOT ALL women!
Same goes for the men too....someone told me it took him took 4 years to heal!

oblivious1981's photo
Fri 11/14/14 09:44 PM
I am still healing. and it may take me awhile. but I did put on here that I want friendship first. I agree that it is probably best to wait for my divorce to be final. I have some baggage that doesn't need to be shared or pushed onto another woman. and I wouldn't do that to another.

buttons's photo
Fri 11/14/14 09:51 PM
I think though talking to others helps you heal.. both male and female. it seems I healed faster when I was younger also. so age may be a factor as well.

oblivious1981's photo
Fri 11/14/14 09:56 PM
it helps. I am very unsocial. I have the hardest time talking to people. the internet makes it easier. I suffer from PTSD. and it is usually the cause of my pain. I can talk on the net without having to worry about what people think.

serendipity1964's photo
Fri 11/14/14 10:10 PM
there is nothing more depressing than going on a date with a guy who just talks about his ex all the time. For me, until a man is divorced and has experienced and healed from that, he's probably just looking for something trivial and I don't want to be someones rebound.

like most things in life, it takes time.

oblivious1981's photo
Fri 11/14/14 10:14 PM
very true. they bad thing about exes is trying to forget the things they have done and trying to remember the person your are looking at isn't them.

mysticalview21's photo
Sat 11/15/14 11:54 AM

very true. they bad thing about exes is trying to forget the things they have done and trying to remember the person your are looking at isn't them.




that is right ... take the time be honest and it will come when the situation is right ...

that is what I say... just becouse someone hurt us before... does not always mean the nxt person will ... think of your wants in your life and your don't wants... go from there ... good luck op ...

green407's photo
Sat 11/15/14 12:00 PM

Well here goes. Me and my wife separated five months ago. She moved her boyfriend in the day after it was over. I have been taking time to get my head straight so I just started trying these type of sites. the divorce will be done soon I hope..... is it still to early or am I jumping the gun....


Take your time. get your head straight first, then start thinking about a relationship.

oblivious1981's photo
Sat 11/15/14 12:47 PM
thank you. its good to receive good advice for a change.

oblivious1981's photo
Sat 11/15/14 02:57 PM
"UPDATE"...... so my first wife and I went our separate ways about 10 years ago. we have remained friends and have two children together. they are the ones on my main profile pick. anyways she just told me she still loves me. I have never stop loving her and never will. she was my first serious relationship and the person I have loved the most. she is the best mother I have ever met personally. I don't know if I should try because it didn't work the first time. she has always melted in my hands. in fact she loves my hands because of my massaging skillz. I have never been confused around her. any advice will be welcome here.!.!

no photo
Sat 11/15/14 03:23 PM

"UPDATE"...... so my first wife and I went our separate ways about 10 years ago. we have remained friends and have two children together. they are the ones on my main profile pick. anyways she just told me she still loves me. I have never stop loving her and never will. she was my first serious relationship and the person I have loved the most. she is the best mother I have ever met personally. I don't know if I should try because it didn't work the first time. she has always melted in my hands. in fact she loves my hands because of my massaging skillz. I have never been confused around her. any advice will be welcome here.!.!


It didn't work before...I tried that also. Mind games for revenge was what he was after in the end. That was a slap back to reality. ohwell

Anyways, dreamerana had some very good advice!

Also, if you were to attend a divorce therapist, they would tell you that it's not recommended to serious date for around 2 1/2 years after a divorce. Date, and don't let rebound cloud you.

Took me 4 years to put myself back together after my last divorce. embarassed

oblivious1981's photo
Sat 11/15/14 03:30 PM
I know this woman well. she is my country girl. and also the only woman I have ever fallen in love with at first site. we have been talking since I updated and neither of us is in a hurry. if we do decide to work things out and try again you will not see this profile again.

TxsGal3333's photo
Sat 11/15/14 03:37 PM
I'm a true believer that if you still fill strong about another and they in fact do as well. Then one will never know till you try..

Yes I have went back with a ex b/f or we tried it out for a weekend.. I decided the feelings just was not there and ended it..

I would rather try it if that is where my heart was then wonder what if the rest of my life..... just saying...whoa