I may not have as much life experience as I would like, but I have more than most my age. You haven't lived my life. I grew up alot quicker than most of my peers. The most annoying part is the inside grew up and I haven't gotten to do anything with it for the simple fact of trying to make everyone else happy. I know that the only person I have to make happy is myself, but that is really hard for me because I care about what everyone I love thinks and feels. I gave up my teen years and my adult life so far (not complaining, just stating a fact) to help with my nephew. That circumstance is nobody's fault and I wouldn't trade him for the world. I do know that I'll never be a good role model for him if I don't do something that makes me happy.

Do what you think is right, in your heart, and if you make a mistake, well you make a mistake!!!

thanks Gypsy. It gets really tiring when everyone is all "we're just trying to keep you from making a mistake"

Well... how the hell will I ever learn what makes me happy if I don't make a few mistakes in life? I get tired of my family always trying to fix it FOR me. I love them and I know they mean well... but back off... its getting old.

I do wish I could read one bit of advice that could come from someone who is telling me what THEY would do, not what they think I should do. You never actually give people the advice that you, yourself would use...(you meaning everyone, nobody inparticlar)

Some how I dont think you would like to know what I would do. I surely wouldnt go back to a man as spineless as that. If my mother was that controlling I wouldnt move in with her. I would not try to get pregnant with my boyfriends child. Im sure you will do whatever you decide you want. I just hope that you think long and hard before you start a family. Its not just your life, the child needs to be takien into consideration too.

oh really? Is that how it works? I never woulda guessed...

We moved in with her to HELP HER. Now that she's back on her feet I'm happy to leave. He's not spinless, he's just not confrontational. He didn't want my uncles to come in trying to fight him with my nephew here so he cooperated.

You ask for advise, then get your knickers in a twist when people give it. Who ever said that you would like the advise? The people in here have been very tactful and given not only what I consider good advise, and you are getting more and more frustrated.

What exactly did you expect to hear? You said it yourself. You are your own person, you are old enough to make your own desicions and already know what you are going to do.

So do it. Your a grown woman. DO whatever you think is right for you as you've said many times in this thread, but don't get attitude when you don't like what these people who are taking the time to answer you say about it.

I did what I wanted, and I suffered. Seems a few or more of us did too. We can't help but cringe when we think of nice young people like you could possibly go through. That's all.

If you think going to live with him is right, then what do you need to know from us? Validation? Ok, you've got mine. I can't stop you and you are doing what you want and think is right. Some are not going to validate your choices.

Oh yeah, right, you wanted to know what we/I would do in your situation. I would find my own place, get into college, keep my BF and enjoy each others company before I have a screaming baby keeping me up all night, try to hold a job and not be able to spend any or little time with my BF............

Thats what I would do. Wanna know why? Cuz I'm doin most of it right now and I'm 40. I made a "mistake" and now not only I but all three of my kids a suffering from it. But, you do what you want. You may be some of the lucky few that make it through the gauntlet....best wishes and hope I didn't piss you off. Just telling you like I feel it is and thats what you asked for.

The only reason I get an attitude is because alot of the people on here tend to talk to me like I'm some 15 year old kid who has no idea what the hell they are talking about. I've been pretty good about holding jobs, maybe not more than 2 years at each one, simply b/c I've moved alot. All I asked is what do you do when it seems like someone's trying to force you to choose between 2 people that you love with all of your heart. Believe it or not, this isn't the first time my mother's gotten in the middle. However, this is the first time she's been wrong about the guy. That would be why when she wanted us to move with her in the first place I immediately mentioned that it would be temporary. I didn't know that they'd get all dramatic over a run of the mill argument between us and threaten him into leaving. I thought maybe this once I could get some understanding and not some kind of lecture from a bunch of people. Its one thing to tell me how you feel in a way that doesn't make me feel like you think I'm dumb. Pam "Snuggles" always seems to be able to do that, she can give me advice in a kind way without sounding like she thinks I'm stupid. If someone is going to post on my threads and try to make me feel like I'm some kind of idiot, then yeah, I'm going to get defensive.

I wasn't talking down to you. When it came down to having to choose between my family and my BF, I chose my BF. It was the wrong choice for me.

I lifetime later, I'm doing what I should have been doing then. That's all I was saying. So there is the answer to your question.

Snuggles is a great person, and may have a better way with words than some of us others, but you are getting what you asked for. I have no reason to talk down to you.

People tell you to talk it over with your mom. You said you did and had your mind made up.....what else is there to advise? Yet this keeps going on.

You are in pain. You miss your love, you feel betrayed by your family, you feel you can take care of things on your own/with him. You can hold a job, he has one and has a place ready for you both when you get there.....seems you have it all planned out.

The sucky thing is that unfortunately you may have to give up your family. At least for a little while. I did. Can't say that was the best choice I made, but it doesn't have to be yours.

So in answer to your question of what would I do if I had to choose between my family and the man that I love, at this time in my life, I would choose family. I hope I didn't step on any toes this time.

I didn't say that I wasn't going to make up with my mother, I just said that no matter if I choose to stay or go, someone will be angry with me. I want to go with him, be with him. I would never let not being in the same state as my mother keep me from talking to her and coming to visit anytime I could.

It just feels more like they're trying to keep me from him b/c he didn't do things the way THEY wanted him to, and not because they think they're protecting me. I know that i don't know everything, I don't want to.. thats too much for anyone. I DO know that no matter what I do, I will be alright. I just wish they trusted me to make my own decisions and not try and make them for me. My mother should know me well enough by now to know that will only push me away more. HAHA, and NO before anyone says it, I'm not doing it to get back at her,if I was going to do that I'd move somewhere she wouldn't know where I was, and I'm sooooo not that cruel.

Do you know the meaning of the word "may"? Or "for a "little" while. Did I ever once say that you shouldn't talk to your parents?
NO>>>>>I said "I" did.

You have the answer to everything so I'm heading out of this self-prophesizing(SP?) "discussion" and away from this pity party.

I wasn't having a pity party, I'm sorry you mis read that. I said what I was doing in response... anyway.. its shot to hell now anyway.