Topic: When family gets involved... it gets ugly
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Sun 09/30/07 08:11 AM
Jayme...is the baby in the photo yours? Didn't say anything on your profile about having children, I guess I just assumed the baby is yours. If so...think of what is best for your child first. I understand about wanting to get out from underneith the thumb of a controling parent. Been there myself when I was young. Just be sure you have weighed all the pros and cons of your decssion before you act upon it.

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Sun 09/30/07 08:16 AM
I dont get how your mom forced your boyfriend out of town. Was she armed? Does he have a spine? Youre not married and trying to have a kid? You moved in with mom to have more money and yet you cannot afford a bus ticket out of town? You cant afford to take care of yourself yet you want to bring a child into the mess? You have some growing up to do hon.

JaymeStephens84a0lc's photo
Sun 09/30/07 08:18 AM
HAHA, no, thats my niece, Kaylynn. We are trying to have a baby, but apparently there is an interruption. Oh well... I'll be with him soon.

The thing that tells me the most to go, is my gut. I'm sitting here in our bedroom, and it just doesn't feel right without him or his things here. I knew from the moment I met him that he was it. I took the time to get to know him, and I know that he's the right one. I will welcome all the 'mommy' advice alot of you seem to be giving, but please remember... I'm not some 15 year old kid running away. I'm a grown 23 year old woman, who is making the decision for her self. There's quite a bit of difference there.

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Sun 09/30/07 08:21 AM
Well, I wish you well. You are too strong willed to listen to good advice.

Tulsa & Shutterbug & Summerz have all had good points in this... Summerz harsh but funny.

Please I hope the baby is not yours. And if it is, oh my... not good.

JaymeStephens84a0lc's photo
Sun 09/30/07 08:23 AM
dont' you think that if I did have a chld that the word "I" wouldn't be incorperated in my decision? I don't know what kind of person you think I am, but from what it sounds like, your dead wrong.

JaymeStephens84a0lc's photo
Sun 09/30/07 08:28 AM
Its called bill week hun, thats why I can't afford a bus ticket. Those things cost money. He's got a $70,000 dollar a year job waiting on him when he gets there... but I want to get there as soon as possible, not just as soon as his first check, which from what his uncle told us could be 3 weeks...

Um, well, they ordered the ticket and wouldn't shut up about it, so he and I said okay.. but I'm goin as soon as possible too, I hope you know that. He and I are planning to be married, so why would I just stay here?

Btw, since when the hell do you have to be married to have a kid?

JaymeStephens84a0lc's photo
Sun 09/30/07 08:34 AM
There is the fact that I have uncles that have guns nearby... and they were blowing it way out of proportion. My mother is a drama queen. There, I said it, now you know where I got it, my mother is a drama queen. She always has been. I do know that she's a smart lady and she's not always wrong, but this time she is.

Snugglesbyfire's photo
Sun 09/30/07 08:35 AM
Jayme,
A good portion of us are parents on here, we have been through the hard knocks, and just wish to see others not go through them.
The hardest thing to do is to sit back, and watch the younger generation make mistakes that we have made. We all can sit here and give you our thoughts and opinions, but what it all comes down to is you making the final decision on what will come about.
No matter what you decide friends, and family will give you support. It may not be the support that you wish for, but they will still be there for you in the end.
Good luck, and best wishes
Pamflowerforyou

JaymeStephens84a0lc's photo
Sun 09/30/07 08:38 AM
I will tell you the same thing I told my mother: If its a mistake, so be it, its my mistake to make and I'm pretty good at learning from them.

JaymeStephens84a0lc's photo
Sun 09/30/07 08:39 AM
I hope that didn't come across smart assed I didn't mean it that way if it did.

Snugglesbyfire's photo
Sun 09/30/07 08:41 AM
No Jayme it didnt come across that way.


Part of life is making mistakes, and learning from them

Each day I make new mistakes some I don't learn from, some I do. the ones I don't I seem to make over and over again :smile:

JaymeStephens84a0lc's photo
Sun 09/30/07 08:47 AM
I am more than happy to find out if its a mistake or not, but I would kick myself forever if I didn't know. Why does everyone seem to think that just because I'm under 30 that I'm not capable of making consious decisions that effect my life? It could be a minor mistake, or the best decision I ever made. How will I know if I don't at least try? My heart is telling me that its right.

Snugglesbyfire's photo
Sun 09/30/07 08:49 AM
Its because when us the over 30 age see things or hear things, we sometime cringe and say oh I hope things dont go for her the way they went for me.......its just a normal reaction, and when your over 30 you will do the same thing:smile:

JaymeStephens84a0lc's photo
Sun 09/30/07 08:56 AM
There is one thing you guys need to know about my mom's side of the family. They are a bunch of nosey people who automatically take my mother's word for everything. No body wanted to hear me say "its not a big deal, it was just a simple argument". I pretty much figured out that since he quit the job my uncle got him b/c he was getting screwed every pay check that they've been trying to find a reason to get him out. He had JUST quit that a few days ago, and already had another job here at our computer store ready to go.

They just got pi$$ed b/c he wasn't doing it their way. I know these people, they've been the same group of contolling people they've always been. This is the aunt who wrote off her own son when he quit his coaching job to work for more money at a factory in Kansas. He has twin babies to take care of... you can imagine why he took the better paying job. They have put each one of us in my generation in a box, and if you step outside of what they think you should be doing they want you out of their lives. I'm still sitting here quitely, so they don't think I'm going anywhere.

My mom was even going to let it go until my aunt came over and started her rantings about him. She got her all back in a huff and threatened him with "You leave tomorrow on a greyhound, or else" um, I wouldn't expect anyone to just stay when they are being threatened.

JaymeStephens84a0lc's photo
Sun 09/30/07 08:57 AM
Yeah, but think about how annoying that is to those of us under 30.... I get treated like I'm a damn child, no matter how much I work, pay bills, and do my own thing, they still act like I'm some idiot when it comes to running my own life.


Snugglesbyfire's photo
Sun 09/30/07 09:07 AM
Sure it is but guess what Im 48 and my mom is still doing it to me...........laugh

JaymeStephens84a0lc's photo
Sun 09/30/07 09:11 AM
See, I've always been great at standing up for myself to everyone but my mother. I'm sure you all know, that mothers have a way of making you feel like you should go sit in a damn corner if they dont' like what you're doing

Snugglesbyfire's photo
Sun 09/30/07 09:16 AM
oh yeahlaugh laugh

JaymeStephens84a0lc's photo
Sun 09/30/07 09:24 AM
My biggest problem 'life experience' wise is that I have never done anything that I wanted to do that would inconvience my mother. I've been, I guess you could say, "the perfect daughter", thats why we usually get along so well. I usually just let her have her way because its easier than hearing her go off the deep end when she isn't pleased. NO, she doesn't just make ya feel bad, she pisses you off. She just yells at you until you submit b/c you're sick of hearing it. I do mean YELL, like... people all over the block can hear her. It was different when I was a kid and had no choice but to put up with it. I'm done with it. I'm not done with HER, I am just done with the temper tantrums.

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Sun 09/30/07 10:24 AM
I say, since you have already made your decision, and don't want to listen to the people here who have life experience, then go ahead.......do whatever it is you want to do.

We have all not "listened" to others, wish we had.......but go ahead and do what you want to do....nothing we say will stop you, right?