i was in a relationship for 5 yrs, in my mind i did right by her, cooked, cleaned, worked 11 hour days, spent time with her, her family loved me, her mother called me son, never hit her, nor called her names, yet at the end she left me saying i was too nice and she needed different saying she is confused as to what she wants. any comments or advice for me. am i supposed to be an a**hole? im just a tad confused!!

well the only advice!! I can offer you..
. is that you have definitely, come to the right place... to vent.. and to soul search... and with the help of a lot of.
amazing people.. on this site.. you will ... become to realize... the past is the past... only forward!! forward only counts..... and horizontal..lol

I have moved on this happened about 4 months ago but it did cause a grea deal of pain. now there is only confusion and wonder at the "you were too nice" excuse. my mind and heart tells me its bull **** and that she may have just changed. and i hold no ill will towards her but i just was hoping i could get many others thoughts on this!!

i was in a relationship for 5 yrs, in my mind i did right by her, cooked, cleaned, worked

Your words above, not mine.

Now to be perfectly honest this sounds something like an old guy would say, someone like my father.
It's as though the woman in this relationship is supposed to be eternally grateful because you get off your arse and cook, clean and work.
Now you are almost as saintly as the pope aren't you.
Think about it.

that is not how i meant it. i am not perfect and i never will be. no she should not be eternally grateful. and as i said in my mind i did right by her. i did what i thought a good man is supposed to do. maybe i didnt and maybe i went about the whole relationship wrong. but i know i did my best..

Some things are just not meant to be. I wish you well for the future.

thanks much

'' attraction is not a choice ''---both sex's have a logical conscious belief in what they want---its the

unconscious emotional part of us that really makes the choices. as for a woman her fundamental goal is

someone to protect and provide--thats why the alpha males always get first choice.---you can be a good

guy but you have to also appear to be very strong--the trouble with nice guys these days most women

see them as weak. having said that there are other factors like her belief system about herself and

others that help guide her life script-- we all have limiting beliefs and favorite feelings we are trying to

validate by recycling them--YOU CANNOT DO ANYTHING ABOUT ANYONE BUT YOURSELF--SO

CONCENTRATE ON LEARNING ABOUT THE PART YOU PLAYED IN THE RELATIONSHIP--DATING IS A WAY

OF LEARNING ABOUT OURSELVES AND OTHERS BEFOR WE FIND ''THE ONE'' ---GOOD LUCK I HOPE YOU

FIND THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE---

P.S.---THE MOST IMPORTANT RELATIONSHIP YOU WILL EVER HAVE IS THE ONE YOU HAVE WITH YOUR


INNER CHILD---YOUR INNER CHILD DETERMINES EVERYTHING IN YOUR LIFE--

I'm not really good in making comments, but for me u are perfect. :) the girl who just left you don't see it. she is just not the one for you. I hope that you'll see the one meant for you so that you'll become more happy. :) don't be confused to what she said. just do what you think is good. ;) :flowers for you:

that's great that you did things FOR HER.
what did you do WITH HER?
what did you giys share? what do you have in common? did she feel needed? actually, did you both feel a part of each other?

in the beginning of a relationship, people do things to make the other feel special. with time and responsibilities, they forget those little details that bring a smile.

I don't know the answer. just offering ideas. I wish you all the best.

sometimes......

"you are too nice" = "you are smothering me."

,And I'd like to add,don't care how nice you are,some women just prefer JERKS,sad but true!!

I use to be too nice myself,but F&%k that,you would have to earn it now,am cool and all that yeah!