umm...jayme, i've lost more than one baby in my life, so please, don't go that route

no one claims to know what it is like to walk in your shoes
we all have only our own experiences to go by--
we all know how wanting something so bad it hurts can also cloud your judgement

i had three miscarriages before i had my three children!
i had to decide if i was even going to attempt to get pregnant again because it was painful

when you force something is that right?
like forcing your bf to make that huge decision

((((((Ellgee)))))))

I already love my kids too, I just haven't had them yet is all. I know this is a HUGE decision, and trust me it never was entered into lightly. I KNOW that I'm READY to be a mother, I will do whatever I have to do to take care of my child/children. I DO plan on having a father at least near by. I'm not saying all will go as planned because anything can happen. I'm sure you didn't plan on being a single mother. I KNOW that me being a single mother is very likely, and I'm prepared for whatever comes my way. I've learned one thing about myself, and thats that I can handle ANYTHING that comes my way.

you can handle anything-- but what about your child? is it fair to him or her?

Its not being FORCED on him. I have a back up that is more than happy to have a baby with me. I'm just asking him. He wants kids too, so most likely it will be yes. NOBODY is forcing him to say yes.

How would it be NOT fair for my child to, either way, have 2 parents? Either my b/f who most likely will, or my very good friend (whom I've known a long time). HOW would that NOT be fair? Its MY BODY, MY DECISION, MY FAMILY.

if you inform your current bf that you have a backup plan with someone else...yeah...you ARE forcing the decision





miscarriage in 96, in 99, and then again in 04
these were either before or in between having my children...

difficult is an understatment

you just said it was more likely you being a single mother would happen and you have and alternative if your bf saids no...that to me indicates kind of forcing, wheather he wants kids or not...
i am not trying to be ugly
and i know you will do what ypou decided no matter what

That would be why I'm not informing him. He has the freedom to head for the hills if he so chooses. I'm not going to say anything about 'back up' because I don't want him to feel like he has to say yes if he doesn't want to.

I have had 2 'almost' pregnancy's. Not exactly miscarriages, but more like it just didn't implant its self. Knowing I came that close and it didn't happen tore me apart. I'm willing to risk it. I am also prepared for the fact that I could miscarry, lots of my friends have and I saw what they went through. Trust me, I know thats hard. I was the one holding them while they cried. I am sorry that you when through something so difficult.

baby entrapment i disagree with that **** a woman did that bull **** to me and i,m paying child suppoet for a child i never wanted, i pay it for the child but god damm i hate her and i left her lying ass years ago but im still never trust any woman wasnting a kid i,ll leave walk away quicly bye

jayme, you can't know how it feels until you've experienced it, im sorry, but you just can't...

you can empathize, and sympathize, but you can't know how it feels

I'm NOT trapping ANYBODY!!! The fact that she lied to you is not MY PROBLEM. I'm not lying to ANYONE about what I want. He doesn't have to say yes. I'm not going to try to make him, and certainly wouldn't try to 'sneak' and get p/g by him if he doesn't want it.

I didn't say that I had been through a miscarriage myself, now did i? I said I'd been there with friends who did and I saw what they went through. I was extending empathy to you... I wasn't trying to be a b!tch.

I'm REALLY starting to see why people leave these boards.

*sigh*


not ready yet :|

excuse me, but you don't know me at all. You make me feel like I have to justify myself to people that don't live my life or have my emotions. I will be leaving as soon as I figure out how to deactivate.

if people leave because they are afraid of hearing the truth then they should not have posted to begin with...
if you are someone's friend and you care about them-- you tell them the truth!!!!!
and you are not telling him the truth- you are not telling him you have backup!! that is deceit-- which is not right.
so it does not matter who the father is as long as you have one?

i had three miscarriages before my three children- one at 8 weeks, 16 weeks and 14 weeks, i know how it feels to already have your room theme picked out, names, bond with, etc...big loss---but, i did not base having children only on the fact that i wanted them and i felt loss before. i had enough $ to handle surprise situations and only one choice for a father- if he said no there was no backup plan.

nurjoyce...i couldnt agree with u more...ppl get mad if u tell them what u think but they asked for the advice....i personally feel that ppl who deavtivate because they handle ppl telling them the truth...are just not ready to be adults and be on this site...jsut my opinion....