So, if you believe that families aren't always biological and that people can develop very close family relationships with people that have married in or became family through marriage,,

and I do,,,



than how do you handle the following scenario:

I have an in law that was with a loved one for nearly two decades, she is every bit family to me as anyone in my family, I love her, we have talked about very personal things and she has been a wonderful sounding board to me as I have been to her.

there was recently the decision by my family member to end that relationship,, it was not due to infidelity, but other trust issues between them.


Now, I still love them both, but being that this is a female 'family' member, I don't feel the same disconnect from her as my biological family member does.


At this point, both of us gals are 'single'. Do you see where this is going?


would it be appropriate for the two of us to now hang out as single ladies, or even double date in the future,,, ? or would that be disrespectful to my biological family member?

Easy-peasy one for me. My family doesn't get to dictate - nor even get a say in - with whom I am friends.

My respect for my biological and now-divorced sibling would extend to the point that I wouldn't bring my friend to family functions and/or anywhere else my sibling is in attendance nor mention my friendship - and our outings - to them.

The first time my sibling said, "I'd prefer you not see them, anymore", I'd let him/her know I can't honor their request.

Luckily, in my family, we all feel similarly (go figure). My brother and his (now ex-) wife remained friends with my first ex-husband for years, until time and circumstance caused them to drift, mostly due to geographic proximity. My ex still does my mom's and brother's taxes, each and every year.

Believe it or not, I have friends.

I don't force 'em on anyone.

and in blunt guy noises... as long as you don't rub his nose in it. go for it. though the girls above probably said it better

It may be worth speaking to your biological family member and telling them exactly how you feel.
It is a hard situation and I'm sure they will understand where you're coming from.
I think it may ease any tension before any tension even begins to fester.

I wouldn't have put it any better than what the ladies have already said ahead of me.

I farted after posting.

^^^^

there shouldn't be any reason why it should be an issue to maintain your friendship and still be ok with your family, as long as you aren't gossiping to the two people involved about each other.

I've had it work both ways:
when the guy id been seeing for a very long time had to be out of my life, my brother and one of my cousins were among his best buddies. I asked them not to with hold their friendship as our break up had nothing to do with them. they continue to be friends to this day.

on the flip side of that, several of my family members have left their significant others and their exes remain friends with the rest of us, as none of the rest of us have wronged each other in any way.

thanx, I see it like you do but I just was curious if their may be a different perspective to consider