Proud of you for that decision.

mom333,

I do not know of any just cause for you feeling guilty.

I completely understand what you mean about still loving him even after he nearly killed you esp if you have kids or been with him for a long time. Though there was bad times, there still was good times. Coming from a person who has been there. It will take time to heal. You never know when your actually ready for a new relationship especially if you havent gave yourself the time. I would say to be more pickingand always know your worth and what you deserve. I would focus on your babies and getting some much needed you time. I wouldnt rush into dating because then you will find yourself in a lustful filled rrelationship thatmakes you think your in love. 9 out of 10 that relationship will end anc you will be hurt and stuck with that pain as well as it reminding you of your baby daddy break up pain so there you will be stuck in two different pains at one time. I would just finda fwb who understands what you came from and wont force anything but a good time on you lol. Smile chicky love will come again and be unexpecting. Best of wishes

I was raised.. to believe you never hurt a woman.. physically..
... so when I hear of cowardly men.
who can't control their tempers..
I basically just want to castrate them..
...... if somebody hurts you physically..
.. okay well if you're pushing there
buttons and you know it... well there's nothing wrong with a little slap on the ***... but outside of that..
.. go and meet yourself a real man..
and have him come and kick the crap.
out of your ex... and then when he's on the ground bleeding.. stand above him. and say... how'd you like that *****..

Takes years to lose the baggage.

ps....

you never stop loving anyone.

how do you move on......with the help of family, friends, and a therapist....you need to learn to love yourself again.....and to realize you are worth more than you think and that you deserve more than what you were made to think through his abuse. Once you realize that what he did to you was not your fault, but his own insecurities and self hate, then you can move forward and enjoy the freedom you deserve to be happy. You will eventually find someone who loves and respects you because you will love and respect yourself.

I've got a cousin who will handle all your abusive ex's....and it will only cost ya two cases of beer.

I still lover her. I wouldn't live with her again.

I am worth more than to settle for being put on a shelf.

It's difficult to make it work with a woman that's still hung up on someone else and that doesn't trust men because of that relationship being abusive. You having this conflict with the guilt about wanting someone else to love you could partly be about you not really being ready for anything serious but wanting a man to make you feel good about yourself because women that have been abused don't. You will want what you aren't ready to give yourself and probably push anybody away that tries to get close to you.

nah I feel really good about myself I don't have hang ups like that and I don't need a man to make me feel good my children do that when they say they love me, i need a man for a whole different reason but i used to believe certain things and now it has changed i sort of cant let go of the guilt i feel when i even start talking to someone.

i totally agree i don't want to be put on the shelf either i have still got a few miles left on the clock yet

I only have a few more good feet left.