I would say that the hardest part about dating online is the first message.
I find myself over thinking what I should say and then when I finally
decide what to say I feel like an idiot. So what's a good first message
to send?

so do you have a scenario.
ie.. they say hello..


You..say..what.?

Awww..relate much..my firsts message was....ahhmmm...secret...lol

Nah like you hit them up first.

Haha you're so helpful!!

Haha ..sorry..#shame

things either flow or they don't, stop worrying so much. chances are, she too will be having the same things going through her mind.

relax and be yourself, if that means you look like an idiot, so be it. embrace it and you may surprised at her reaction. if not, no harm done, you can always go move to a monastery and begin your training as a monk...nothing ventured, nothing gained.

Ok.. let's use..m3k4y.
for example.. if she doesn't mind..
.. so the trick is working with what you have.. or to the point what they give you.. to work with..
now you can make some comment.
. based on the photos she has up..
... but seeing what she's wearing.
is somewhat provocative..
.. any comments you would make.
would automatically land you in the.
just looking for sex category:...
. although she does carry off. the Saturday morning just lounging around the apartment look quite well..mmmm .. so that would leave her opening message. for you to work with..
. you can say something like Oh!! a secret.. I am really good at keeping secrets.. if you would like to share.lol
.. I even have a secret of my own.. .. perhaps she would be intrigued.. to hear your secret..
..
. you could try ...I would be really interested. . in knowing how that first message went.. I know you said it was a secret.. but I'm finding it difficult.. with messaging myself!!.ohh
that didn't sound right..lol.. I don't actually message myself.. that would just be weird..lol.. you see how putting a little bit of levity.. helps to loosen the conversation up...

.. now let's look at the "relate much" part of her. statement..
. something like... I can totally relate to what you're saying.. I just find it hard sometimes... to talk to beautiful women like yourself.. I get all tongue tied.. always worried I'm going to say the wrong thing.. by the way I really like your profile pic.. you look like you're spending a.. comfortable Saturday.. lounging around. your place.. reading a book,!
.. what types of books do you enjoy reading.. if you don't mind me asking..
. give her something to respond back to you with... she might tell you what books she likes..
.....
. hope this helps..



.
.

don't sweat it
ask weird questions
something she hasn't heard before

Hahaha..

Again..its a secret..

..hmm.. something like.
if I showed up wearing a giant teddy bear costume.. on our first date..
.. and if I brought one for you to wear.
. would you put it on and go out for dinner with me...hmm

Yes.. that one works quite well
.. the funny thing is though..
they always think I'm joking..
... but actually..Im not!!..lmao

trying everything once

she said weird,
you just described every friday night in the yukon...

Tell her that you' re virgin

the first thing is you're overthinking. sometimes when we try too hard it makes things weird.
when sending a message, if it's someone you saw on the forums, relate your message to a comment they made.example: I agree with your comment blah blah. too have had a similar experience.
or: if it's something you can add to or debate, I saw that you said blah blah. ive always wondered....fill in the blank. and introduce yourself.
if it's not someone who participates in the forums, read her profile and relate it to that. example: I see you enjoy hiking. what is the most interesting thing you've seen on one of your hikes.

as No1 said, humor works.

just don't start off with you're my soul mate, undying love or other such things.
wishing you luck

The first message isn't so bad. You can usually find something on their profile to say something about, even if it's just asking them what music they like. The questions that you ask could effect the quality of the responses that you get though. I saw one recently that boasted about how she keeps her sexy body in shape and she said that her body type is athletic, so I asked her what she does to keep fit. She said, "Eat healthy" and that's typical of the responses that you get on here. It's like trying to make conversation with a bunch of retards.