I beleive there are very few things in life that have any real substance
to them, any real meaning or purpose. We need the basics to sustain our
life, such as food, drink, housing, money(to create the conditions) and
purpose and direction, to fulfill our lives and to give it meaning.
When we are financially secure, we ACQUIRE the ability to look and
search for the things that bring each of us the fulfillment in life,
that we beleive we NEED. "Need" is a very peculiar word as it denotes
something we MUST have. I choose to beleive that I do not NEED
anything. Now "WANT," that is a different scenerio. I have already
acquired my "Short" list of Needs. I also have an even shorter list of
"Wants!" It seems THAT shopping list is very difficult to fill. I have
encountered a very "frustrating" pattern, unique only to online dating.
In real life dating, two people meet, maybe by chance, talk, and it goes
from there. In online dating we have the ability to stop anything
before it goes any further, simply because we don't feel attracted to
the picture posted.After all, which one of us, just up and email a
profile, that does not have a picture posted on it. Doesn't just that
fact, make us all rather vain and really unattractive? I have noticed
that women will post photos that bring all the best of them forward for
the eye to see, while men, do not seem to care, they just throw up any
photo they happen to have on their computer and HOPE that it will bring
women to them. We all "browse" the photos first, and if we like what we
see, then we read the profiles. How "backwards" is that? I believe
that each of us wants to spend the rest of our lives with a person, not
a picture. I recently tried out my theory, by emailing a lot of
different profiles that had no pictures posted, and to my utter delight
I ran across two ladies, who by ANY mans standard, would be considered
"STUNNING!" Both of those two ladies wanted to be "found" because of
who they are and not because of how beautiful they truly are and guess
what? Although they are beautiful on the outside, they are truly more
beautiful "INSIDE." So to the men out there who really want to find
someone they will be happy with..."Try emailing photos without pictures!
It will take a while, but where I found Two, I am sure there are many
more!" Now, I have a very big decision to make and I do not look
forward to making it! Louie aka lloudogg@yahoo.com

My sentiments exactly, which is why if i ever come across a profile
without pics i don't ask to see one until i find out his personality,
substance, his values , his fiscal intelligence.......

You say that looks shouldn't matter but they do... everyone is into
looks... it's just tryin to find the person that fits your looks....
after all if you didnt have a computer, and were just passin ppl on the
street, the first thing you would be attracted to is their looks, then
personality... its the same thing on here... that's why everyone is
superficial... no matter what they say... but thats life

Thank you so much for sharing that. I am recently out of an engagement
with my son's mother and I find my confidence is low. I just signed up
today and had forgotten that I believe in the words you wrote, before I
ever read them, of course. It's worth the wait, anyway. You have
started a trend, even if it ends with me. We are all more beautiful
inside, at least at our core. It is the selling off of our physical
apperance and the things that fade which rots our insides.
thanks agian and I don't think you have anything to worry about.
Either way, you win.
Benny

To be honest with you Kisses, I agree. This is a superficial world/time
we live in. To proove your point, If I saw you on the street I would
not be attracted to you. That's me. One out of so mant billion. But
haven't you had a friend, or someone in your family that you found
physically unattractive, only to completely have that transformed by
your love for them? Someone who by popular standards, say if we saw
them on tv, we'd say they are even ugly? Comparitively? The point
lloudogg is making, if I may, is not that the world is or is not
superficial, rather that looks can be decieving and you might miss out.
Think of all the people you have ever felt rejected by. Did they reject
how you appeared to them or did they reject you as a human being? Big
difference, eh?!!! To put it blunt, lloudogg is saying something more
along the lines of, try using the expression of your true heart and
mind, rather than your cleavage, or whatever. That's all.
Benny

This is a very great thread lloudogg. It seems that you have alot
of great insite in on this thing. You are right that people look on the
outside first, for what they are looking for. Only to realize later that
it's the inside that they need to look at. That's where they will truely
find what they are looking for.

when they did away with bartering and created an economy thru currency
they really did create something totally different with all the
corporations and taxes. how many mountain men or hobos do you hear of
any more and they even seem to come up with a little change sometimes.

i think there is a difference between acknowledging someones beauty and
being superficial. i may notice how they look first but that is because
that is all i know.

When I married my first I married for looks and he treated me like crap.
The second time around looks was not a big thing for me I wanted someone
who would treat me like a queen. To me my husband is the sexiest man in
the world to me because he treats me good. But he is much shorter than I
am but so what he treats me really good. So I was suggest not to go for
looks.

that's right, looks are nice but they don't mean that much. i've
noticed myself when i'm around someone who physically wouldn't be
considered beautiful but when you get to know what kind of person they
are, that's what love is based on and that's how it lasts