ha ha ha ha spot on fella. Rings a bell.

what goes quark?

posh ducks

A blonde went to electronic store and she asked, "How much is this TV?"

The salesman said, Sorry we don''t sell to blondes.

The next day she came back as a brunette. She asked the salesman how much the TV was. He said Sorry we don''t sell to blondes."

The next day she came back as a red head and asked the salesman how much the TV was. He said Sorry we don''t sell to blondes.

She replied, I came in here as a brunette and a red head. How do you know I am a blonde?
Because that is not a TV it''s a microwave

On a crowded bus, one man noticed that another man had his eyes closed.
"What's the matter? Are you sick?" he asked.

"No, I'm okay. It's just that I hate to see old ladies standing."

In a liabrary, after reading a book for 3 hours a man yells at the librarian saying what a useless book so many character but no story !
The librarian answers ''that's a Phonebook you moron''

A young businessman has just started hes own firm. He rented a beautiful office and had furnished with antiques. Sitting there, he saw a man come into outer space. Wishing to appear busy, the businessman picked up the phone and started to pretend he had a big deal working. He throw huge figures around and made giant commitments..

Finally he hung up and asked the visitor: can I help u?
The man said: sure. Ive come to install the phone..
Vingly: good choice. The clothes probably wouldnt have fit..haha

What do you call a sheep with no legs?....

No 1. **** i am so pissed my brother got locked up for something he didn't do

No 2. WORD !!! what didn't he do

No 1. He didn't run fast enough

God made every body different but by the time he got to China he got tired

Boy and girl of class 2 asked teacher:
"can kids of our age have kids?"

Teacher replied " NO Never!!"

Boy said to girl :
"see i told you not to worry!!!!".