Topic: Feeling really sad and alone....
heatherrae's photo
Sun 09/16/07 08:52 PM
D-I-V-O-R-C-E!!!!!!

thumper95's photo
Mon 09/17/07 01:34 AM
denise,, find you a decent man and get away from him. if you dont you have nothing but trouble coming.

ed_d_baby's photo
Mon 09/17/07 02:37 AM
in with thumper on that one he said it all...

no photo
Mon 09/17/07 02:59 AM
Denise, hugs to you! I've had a miscarriage before as well, I know how painful a time it is, both physically and emotionally. I wouldn't have made it through without the support of my family and friends. That being said, if that was me and my husband did that, it'd be over and done. Frankly, I have to wonder about your "best" friend as well. Good luck, girlfriend, and if you need an ear, just holler! flowerforyou flowerforyou

oldsage's photo
Mon 09/17/07 04:44 AM
Ck your local YWCA, most of them have groups for ABUSED women.
You are being abused, admit it & get help.
Your life will be better away from this situation, things may be tough, but you will have your SELFRESPECT

Denise74's photo
Mon 09/17/07 07:30 AM
I know things will never be better. No matter what happens I always seem to come last. I haven't loved him for many years. We have a LONG horrible history....the last time we seperated it lasted for about 6 months, but I ended up letting him come back because my "Best Friend" moved me and my kids to Oregon ( I have never lived out of Washington)and then ditched us here with only what I had packed in my car. Even being ditched in a strange place( strange to me) I was still SSOOO much happier alone. The kids and I had a hard time at first, but we adjusted well. I got a job, the kids made friends, we love it here. Getting him out of here seems to be the only problem I have to deal with at this point.....and of course taking the doormat sign off my forhead and kicking out my supposed " best friend"...this house would feel so much more homey if it was minus 8 people!!!

no photo
Mon 09/17/07 07:37 AM
I'll tell you something, the hardest word to say is "no" sometimes, it's short, it's direct but so very very difficult to do. All it takes is practice and this seems like a very fine time for you to start :smile:

no photo
Mon 09/17/07 09:44 AM
U can never change anyone, u can only change your reaction to them....work on that. U r surrounded by negative energy and your spirit is reacting the only way it knows how...by making your body behave the way that it is. Most of us have had a horrible situation in our past...and we have lived to tell.Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness..it is by taking chances that we learn to be brave, you too can change your life, just remain open...as this too shall pass.

TwilightsTwin's photo
Mon 09/17/07 10:01 AM
Imbroglio lives in Oregon.... maybe you guys could hang out!

no photo
Mon 09/17/07 10:16 AM
That sucks
You live a few hours from me but feel free to write when ever you would like

morethanjust_janedoe's photo
Mon 09/17/07 10:55 AM
tell me where u live an ill kick his ass and give him a lesson myself. grumble explode mad

i have been in abusive relationships in the past so i TOTALLY understand where you are coming from. i have also been in situation where my life was in danger and i had to do things myself because he was busy doing something better with his time.

and i know why you stay. because even tho he does all this to you somewhere in the back of your head you make escuses for him, that your not good enough to be without him, hes the father of your children, you in some way need him, you think he will change somehow or go back to how he was when you guys first met, etc.

but there are reason(s) that you are letting him come back and letting him stay and do this crap to you.

i was lucky. i got out. not many women get that chance. most die from their husbands/boyfriends hands.

please for the sake of your children and your life. i am asking you to please get out. because this affects your children more than you realize.

Denise74's photo
Mon 09/17/07 11:09 AM
I am actually working on that one right now. He's been really abusive in the past, but not for the last year or so. Although, we have been seperated for part of that year! And I know, it is true, he will never change. I almost feel like I have been in a fog for the last few years. I know he will never change... and I honestly haven't been in love with him for years. I don't even like him really. Maybe it is the whole " being alone " thing. Since my daughter who is almost 8 now, He is the only man I have been with. And I am going to be 33 this year....god, what a scarey thought!!!

Marie55's photo
Mon 09/17/07 09:43 PM
See, I told you there were good people on this site and you could talk to them.

Gee, maybe you ought to listen to your Mom once in awhile.bigsmile flowerforyou

thumper95's photo
Mon 09/17/07 09:45 PM
good people are hiding,, like mebigsmile

no photo
Tue 09/18/07 01:11 PM
Hi Denise. So SORRY to here about your troubles. Since your relationship is that bad maybe you should reevaluate?? Anyway, know that you have people here to listen to you, and pray for you. Nice to meet you!!

thumper95's photo
Tue 09/18/07 01:19 PM
hey denise,, need me to stomp a mudhole in him and walk it dry??lol

no photo
Tue 09/18/07 02:05 PM
well if youre not happy you have to be true to yourself im sure youre daughter has witnessesd some of this and thats not good if its scary now ,whats it gonna be like later.alot of times people stay because financially they cant afford not to if that be your case start finding a way to and get away life is too short to spend it with people who dont care about you take care some of us here have been through similar situations what better friends to have.there is always someone hear to talk to ...good luck

Jess642's photo
Tue 09/18/07 03:23 PM
Denise, Sage made a good suggestion...YWCA...do they have women's group for women of domestic violence?

What you need for you, is to work on you, your self worth, a sense of empowerment, and to believe in you again. These relationships can be addictive, and we can hide behind the loyalty thing, the only man I know trump card...

In amongst all of this, you have been abused, it takes time to heal, and to become whole again, I would agree with Sage, and look into searching out a few womens groups, and changing yours, and your child's life.

One last thing....what are you teaching your daughter about a woman's role with men in relationships? I am sure you want better for her...but she is learning from you.

cutelildevilsmom's photo
Tue 09/18/07 04:32 PM
Denise.sit down.think.what kind of man does this to a woman.an abusive,controlling sob thats what.you deserve better.dump his sorry ass now and get out.Been there done that and I got the **** out!!
Sorry about your miscarriages...big hugs to you and i hope you find it within yourself the strength to leave.flowerforyou

southern_bee's photo
Tue 09/18/07 10:47 PM
aww hum im so sorry for yur loss

kick his no good ass all round the house then throw him out u dont deserve to be treated this way flowerforyou