Lord God Relieved at Poll Results

By Tamara ************ (name protected)
July 11, 2007

In a recent interview with Time Magazine, the Lord confessed that He found the results of the latest Barna poll regarding his existence very reassuring. Statistics indicate that as much as 90 % of the U.S. population does believe, openly or secretly, in a supreme deity.

The Lord was especially relieved at the high percentage of research scientists who professed their belief in His existence.

"What with evolution, global climate change, famines, the wars in Sudan, Iraq, Palestine and everywhere else, evidence of widespread child abuse around the globe, Osama bin Laden and George Bush still on the loose, some days I wake up doubtful of my own existence," the Lord said.

"It's really great that a guy like Francis Collins, director of the Human Genome Project, is on my side. I like that little phrase he stole, 'the language of God,' to describe my work on DNA. That stuff took me eons to come up with; he's a man who can appreciate that. I don't understand why more Christians won't lighten up and listen to him a bit. He's a pretty smart guy."

The one feature of the poll results that puzzled the Lord was the lack of a statistically significant connection between faith in a deity and moral behavior.

"You know, you'd think that people who believe in me might care a little more about right and wrong than people who don't believe in me, but that doesn't seem to be the case," the Lord admitted. "I keep inspiring people to walk by faith, and so many of them do, but it's the loudmouths who grab the attention who don't give a damn about harming their brothers and sisters. They keep picking at each other about whether I care more about private or public moral behavior and they refuse to remember that the whole kit and caboodle is public to me. Public, public, public, got that? Write it down. I am here. All the time. I got no place else to go. I'm God, and most of the folks in the U.S. say they believe in me. Oy vey—go figure."

At the close of the interview, the Lord confessed that he'd seen a sneak preview of Evan Almighty and—as He'd known He would be—was disappointed.

"It's a shame, too, because I like Steve Carell," the Lord said. "And Morgan Freeman just nails it. But the movie's a mess."

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Our Father has always been witty.... LJ

Here is a light hearted question for all to think about....



"Does God laugh?"

Of course she does!

My lesson for the day... do not drink milk and read Abra's post replies LOL


Interesting theory.... indulge me....
while I clean up my mess LOL

DUCKS III
by Frederick W. Harvey

When God finished the stars and the whirl of colored suns,
He turned His mind from big things to fashion little ones,
Beautiful tiny things (like daisies) He made, and then
He made the comical ones in case the minds of men
Should stiffen and become
Dull, humorless and glum:
And so forgetful of their Maker be
As to take even themselves – quite seriously.
Caterpillars and cats are lively and excellent puns:
All God's jokes are good – even the practical ones!
And as for the duck, I think God must have smiled a bit
Seeing those bright eyes blink on the day He fashioned it.
And He's probably laughing still
At the sound that came out of its bill.


Not as good as Abra's.....

Ok have to run and get work done...
Blessings to All...
LJ

Hey Laughing (I am soooooo tempted to say: "Hey Jesus!" but I feel it would be offensive to some of the Christians so I will refrain).

I absolutely believe that the creator of this planet has an awesome sense of humor! Look at all the variety? What else would that be for except amusement?

Please consider: Penguins, Giraffes, duckbilled platypuses, blue-footed booby, jesus christ lizards (basilisks), porcupines....come on porcupines have to be a joke... way too many to list and in the ocean?? So many hilarious animals!

and of course the silliest, most ridiculous, laughable creature of all.... man.

How can you doubt that God laughs?

>How can you doubt that God laughs?

Oh I don't doubt it for a minute....
You can call me LJ for short...

I think even in the bible there are many examples of God being witty....even Jesus for that matter as he was made in human form and humor is a human characteristic....

Hhhhmmmmmm............. interesting.... a blue footed booby....LOL say that fast 3 times...