I absolutely get not wanting children - mine are adults. I have no problem if I were to meet someone who had, say, teenagers or something - but I am not into raising little kids. My brother is 45 and has two kids under 5 - he is absolutely exhausted and has no energy for self-care. Maybe if my kids were younger I would be interested in little kids?

I do regret not having children.
But at the same time, I don't really feel childless.
I was 13 when the first of my nephews and nieces was born.
The youngest is now 14 and I spend 1 or 2 hours with him everyday.
In a few short years when he leaves for further education, I really will feel like an empty nester.

I'm with you! My youngest is 18. Id prefer someone who has teenagers or adult children. I like kids, but I'm done raising them.
I can,understand how people say they don't need to be parents to have a fulfilling life.

That is rude to call you out for not having kids...just because you are 35! In this day and age it is commendable NOT to crank out kids just because you can. Good for you!

My Daughter is 33 and i have 2 Grandchildren she has a good Husband that supports and Loves his Family every day! Now for the seriousness in this situation.God Forgive Me for what i'm about to say but its True!! If i had the Forsite to see the Future of Society of Today and the situation that the Government has placed us "I would Not have been a Father"! I'm Proud I have brought my Daughter up with Morals and Standards, But i feel Pity for All Children in Todays World!! I Love them with All My Heart!!

I think in this day and age NOT wanting children is the new norm. my one is an adult now but I would not want to do it again. It's hard to take care of yourself.

But GrayWolf it's Dad's like you that have raised honest, hardworking kids that gives the future any sense of hope. I know I've raised good people... They know right from wrong... which gives me hope.

I was blessed with one, my daughter is my best friend...She brings immeasurable joy into my life ...BUT ...When I was young and inexperienced, I wondered how some of my women friends could "just know" they did not want to be mothers because it was something I always dreamed about, anticipated...Now that I am older and wiser, I see those same women as incredibly self aware and maybe even wise beyond their years...To each his own!!!

I see it as some degree of conservative attitude towards the role of women as motherhood (and by default, housewife) is remnant of an earlier age with slightly different rules. It made sense once, eg. in a time where medicine was less developed and it was simply necessary to outpace high death rates with higher birth rates.

Consider an 18th century rural community, the bread and butter of a pre-industrial nation with high rates of mundane fatality and a need to effectively birth a workforce, even on an individual level with more than one generation of a family working a successful farmland, at the time probably the most viable small business plan. Even regional institutions were highly nepotistic in this regard, the infamous petit bourgois of family run business from butcher to carpenter to candlestick maker, children and descendants carried the business. This is old school, the way it worked and still, high death rates under mundane conditions. Back then a child death was not uncommon, and it was almost impassionate responsibility to the family unit to hit the bedroom and make another to replace lost potential. It was cultural and common sense of the time.

And keep in mind though these ages seem so far from our modern eyes, they're a mere few generations behind us, the generations of this culture wrote publications and birthed ideologies that still line modern libraries without appearing out of place until one really dives into the minds of their authors with an objective view, eg. I feel pretty confident the US Constitution would be an entirely different document were it written for the first time today as opposed to a tentative struggle with those times, yet the common belief is that it remains a progressive ideology, which is sort of like saying hanging is more progressive than beheading.

Then onto the industrial revolution whereby it became patriotic to birth a national workforce. Previously mothers supplying soldiers for warfare had always been a nationalist duty and now in the age of factories and mass labour the political resource of equal or greater value became the common worker, or the rise of the semi-skilled labourer in a role of importance to the national and industrial economy.

So added to the conservative attitudes of an age past lay in the interim one of propaganda for the purposes of creating a usable national resource, from simply giving birth. And it was better than importing an ethnic workforce although this ancient practise (conquering neighbours, putting them to work and living big until they revolted and took you over from within), also found its way into the new age through the establishment of industrial fiefdoms; nevertheless it seemed intuitive in nationalist interests to prefer birthing the industrial workforce to greater extent and thus maintain racial themes in yesteryear's cultural identities, an overview of cultural perspectives of the late-19th to early 20th centuries. This is a mere one or two generations behind us, the firm beliefs of grandparents and the majority of authors on the shelves, or traditional modern businesses.


However, during this time certain primary conditions have vastly changed. Legislative reform has taken leaps and bounds, despite rule of law often being considered mere lip service among conservatives even within the courts themselves; and more importantly medicine and public health has taken leaps and bounds. Mundane death rates have plummeted in all but third world nations or those in extreme economic poverty and political disarray.

So I think we're now at an age where it has become a simple adult responsibility to seriously consider and self govern options when it comes to the decision of having children. In yesteryear an average quality of life was roughly equivalent to living in a cardboard box, it was hardly going to get much worse and probably give more chances to escape by having as many kids as you can pump out. These days quality of life is both a far higher readily achievable standard, and far more tentative, so if one goes about getting pregnant like a surprised deer in the woods, they shouldn't then be too surprised if they wind up living in a cardboard box.

The thing about conservative ideals is there's no such thing as halfway, as it is more an adoption of cultural perspective than any isolated decision. If you take the perspective that your biological role as a woman is motherhood, you will find all the trimmings associated with the ideology would also enter your personal world. Finding yourself in the midst of a feminist struggle, which simply doesn't exist for the woman next to you. And thus we have one of the establishments of inequality.

These days the real dirty little secret is any decision about having children needs to firstly be self governed, and secondly is one which directly involves the financial security to afford them at what you would consider a reasonable quality of life, which obviously should be established prior to the undertaking. You can't trust a government or even a community to share any responsibility financial or otherwise without paying a cost, let's face it in these predatory capitalist times, an indordinately high cost.

On top of that, it'd also be a terrific idea if you were actually capable of competent parenthood somewhat before you had them too.

Thanks for the compliment Tee, But i wonder and worry about "The Future of Mankind" (Another poem of Mine) and what our Great-Grandchildren and so forth will have to go through? I'm glad you are included in the correct way to bring up Children!

Some have kids that are planned some do not.. Then you have those that choose not to have kids... Regardless which path they take as long as they are happy that is all that counts...

If others have issues with those that do not have kids then that is their problem...

Someone who asks why you are 35 with no kids isn't being rude, they're being jealous!

my mom came from
a family of 16 plus 5step
my grandmother was 13 when she married
my grandfather and she was his 3rd wife
he was 32yrs old
so she was step mom of 5 kids around her own age

before anyone freaks out on the age difference
my grandparents were from Mexico
so back then it didnt matter


my dad came from a family of 10

on both sides of
my parents side
there are twins

my mom had twin brothers
and one of them was married
to a twin and they had twins

my dad side
he had brothers that
were twins

and the last set of twins
was about 18yrs ago
my cousin that is not a twin
had the twins
it was the first set in 23yrs prior

I want kids, 11 to specific. Actually I need 13 because the kicker and a backup. Ha ha ha... Back in the day, I coached Pop-Warner football.

I'm in College and tutor Algebra for them as a work study.Everybody's 'You should be a Teacher' . Of course the first thing I think of is 'Yeah, I could recruit my own players from the classes I teach.'

in reality...kids keep people young and sharpens the wits. imho

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Ok..you said that 3 times.
But did you click your heels together also????

then it will truly be time for romance...

Or a nursing/retirement home.
Sorry...it's early.
Still feeling the effects of yesterday's rodeo.