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| Topic: Another crap date | |
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This one actually told me that she doesn't really like Scottish people. She said that she was interested in me because I listed philosophy as one of my interests. I didn't say that I'm interested in pretentious snobs though.
I suppose that I should take it as a positive that I'm getting dates through this site but I had more fun at a party at the weekend with some girls that I already knew. The only problem with them is that they already know what I'm like. Well, I suppose that I can just be myself with them anyway. First dates with most women suck. |
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1st. dates are always a crap shoot no matter which way you look at it and not all will turn out like yours did. Hang in there, I'm sure someone you will connect with will eventually come along.
Good luck! |
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1st. dates are always a crap shoot no matter which way you look at it and not all will turn out like yours did. Hang in there, I'm sure someone you will connect with will eventually come along. Good luck! Well, that's it. I've had first dates that went well enough, where there was that connection but not with women that are really relationship material. I chatted with three girls at that party on Saturday and they were all really nice and sexy. I've known them for years and there's none of that first date awkwardness where I'm worrying about doing or saying something inappropriate. I just don't see how I can make a connection with a woman by not just being myself and these women go so much on first impressions. |
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First dates are also a chance for you to learn better social skills. Being able to converse with another person is a social skill and each date is an opportunity for you to learn how to communicate more effectively in addition to learning how to deal with other peoples different personalities, values, and lifestyle. I hope you reconsider your dating as an opportunity to learn more about yourself and another person rather than reducing your experience to defining it as crap...
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Met a bird not from here on the weekend she was a total waste of space didn't get me one bit. She had to most annoying laugh as well one of those high pitched bastards that go right through you. Needless to say she got binned onwards and upwards as they say........
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I do look on dates as a chance to get to know more about myself and another person and my social skills may not be perfect but I wasn't the one saying that I don't generally like people from where she comes from and I just knew from the moment that I heard her posh accent that she wasn't going to be my type. Why do I need better social skills to get on with snooty people? It's not like I'm going to be invited to tea by the Queen.
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perhaps I'm way out of line here or just plain 'inexperienced' in chatting up women, but the use of the word "bird" and "chicks" isn't that a little outdated and derogatory? .. I'm just saying! :)
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perhaps I'm way out of line here or just plain 'inexperienced' in chatting up women, but the use of the word "bird" and "chicks" isn't that a little outdated and derogatory? .. I'm just saying! :) Well, my last girlfriend refered to other girls as birds and she was a lot younger and up with the times than I am. Political correctness is a funny thing. There was a black guy that posted a thread on here yesterday where he called himself a "chocolate brother". If a white person said something like that, a lot of people would think that it was racist and derogatory. We don't go so much in for the political correctness on this side of the Atlantic. Back in the eighties we went through all of that with the old style comedians becoming unfashionable and we had the "alternative comedy", which was supposed to be against racism and sexism and all of that. Now things have moved on again and it's alright to make jokes about everybody again. Doesn't mean though that you aren't still going to get PC types telling you off. My sister sometimes tries to tell me that things that I say are not PC and offensive but at the same time she enjoys it when a professional comedian does it. I've got a female friend that's in her fifties and she still uses the word "hen" to refer to females. That's a Scottish thing and calling women birds is a British thing. It's informal slang and nothing else. What would be insulting in this country would be to call a woman a cow. So, to answer your question; no, I don't think that it's derogatory to call women birds and I know women that do it themselves. Maybe you could compare that to how homosexuals have owned the word "queer", or would you consider that to be outdated and derogatory as well? |
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Yes I would definitely take offense is someone called me "queer" or "fag" ... perhaps not so much is coming from a gay person (still doesn't make it right though!)
This whole politically correct ******** IMHO has gone a bit too far in most cases however there are some instances where some words are definitely considered derogatory. (the 2 above case in point!) While there are plenty of stereotypes out there to draw from, they are definitely the minority. Not all gay men are effeminate and not all lesbians are butch dykes, just as not all str8 men are butch (metrosexual's a prime example) I certainly don't define myself because of my sexuality or who I choose to have sex with. It's certainly not a life choice as some misinformed people out there would like to believe. No one in their right mind would chose to be persecuted and ridiculed for their sexuality or sexual deviancy. getting back on topic, I was just curious about the use of the words. "bird" and chick" as I recall as a teenager we used those words frequently to describe girls/women and haven't heard it used much lately. Hey, if women don't mind been called "chicks", "birds" or whatever, if it doesn't hurt them, then all the power to them. :) |
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perhaps I'm way out of line here or just plain 'inexperienced' in chatting up women, but the use of the word "bird" and "chicks" isn't that a little outdated and derogatory? .. I'm just saying! :) Well said Only While I am in the US and not familiar with things where Strat is, I do find offense in the word *chick*. Never heard the reference of *bird* before. I think looking at a person as an individual before ALL else is the most important part. Once you get past that, then see their gender, race or religion. I want to be known for WHO I am and then see me as the WOMAN that I am. (Just My Opinion) |
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I could not have said it any better :)
perhaps I'm way out of line here or just plain 'inexperienced' in chatting up women, but the use of the word "bird" and "chicks" isn't that a little outdated and derogatory? .. I'm just saying! :) Well said Only While I am in the US and not familiar with things where Strat is, I do find offense in the word *chick*. Never heard the reference of *bird* before. I think looking at a person as an individual before ALL else is the most important part. Once you get past that, then see their gender, race or religion. I want to be known for WHO I am and then see me as the WOMAN that I am. (Just My Opinion) |
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Well, it's more of a working class sort of thing here really. I suppose that brings me back on topic because I get on with people that speak the same sort of language as me and don't look down their noses at me. That woman that I dated was just a snob. She said that she was from South Africa and I could have said a few things about that but I didn't. I've got a neighbor that's from Thailand and she says that she really likes it here and thinks that Scottish people are really friendly.
I remember a couple of years ago walking past a posh woman in the street that was talking to a builder that was doing some work on her house. He said something about how she should discuss something with "her man". She replied that she would discuss it with her man and that sounded funny to me because posh birds don't talk like that. She was being a good sport about it though, or trying to speak the guy's language or something, instead of putting on the airs and graces. My mother tried to encourage me to speak what she called "the Queen's English" and not use slang, and she didn't even like me using the word "she" because it's supposedly somehow disrespectful to women, or was a million years ago when she was brought up. I could call that outdated as well. It works both ways. I find it rude when people tell me that they don't like the way that I talk and I certainly wouldn't get on with the sort of woman that would get all uptight and snooty about being called a bird. Fortunately, I've never heard anyone apart from Americans on the internet objecting to it. |
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I did not mean to throw the spanner in the works, I was merely very curious when I saw women been referred to 'birds' and chicks' which to me, just sounds a tad bit 'juvenile' (something I would expect coming from someone who thinks it's "cool" and "sexy" wearing their pants 2 sizes too big hanging around their bloody knees with their underwear label and price tag on full display, not unlike what baboons do in the wild. ;)
That been said 'across the pond' those terms might still be widely used and fully accepted and possibly found 'endearing'. I'm not here to judge, I was merely curious that's all. :) |
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Agreed, one should not be judged by one's accent or the way you happen to talk. We are all a product of our upbringing and circumstances which are out of our control.
I too will not tolerate anyone who thinks just because they happen to have a more privileged upbringing, they are better than me. The queen's farts, stink just like the rest of us :) Well, it's more of a working class sort of thing here really. I suppose that brings me back on topic because I get on with people that speak the same sort of language as me and don't look down their noses at me. That woman that I dated was just a snob. She said that she was from South Africa and I could have said a few things about that but I didn't. I've got a neighbor that's from Thailand and she says that she really likes it here and thinks that Scottish people are really friendly. I remember a couple of years ago walking past a posh woman in the street that was talking to a builder that was doing some work on her house. He said something about how she should discuss something with "her man". She replied that she would discuss it with her man and that sounded funny to me because posh birds don't talk like that. She was being a good sport about it though, or trying to speak the guy's language or something, instead of putting on the airs and graces. My mother tried to encourage me to speak what she called "the Queen's English" and not use slang, and she didn't even like me using the word "she" because it's supposedly somehow disrespectful to women, or was a million years ago when she was brought up. I could call that outdated as well. It works both ways. I find it rude when people tell me that they don't like the way that I talk and I certainly wouldn't get on with the sort of woman that would get all uptight and snooty about being called a bird. Fortunately, I've never heard anyone apart from Americans on the internet objecting to it. |
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Let me see if I follow you then. You can remember a time when you were younger where it seemed alright to call females birds or chicks. Then you realised that you were gay and it then seemed like a juvinile thing from the past. Well, it would do I suppose.
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I have always been gay, regardless the fact I had a girlfriend in my younger teens. During that time, it was a huge struggle for me. I thought I was the only "odd" guy out there with these feeling which I fought so hard to suppress. I dated and had sex with girls (ALWAYS fantasizing having sex with men) at the time as it was all that I was taught society expected of me. I literally fell out the closet at 16 after visiting my 1st. gay club and found out that I was not alone.
And in answer to your question yes I did refer to girls as "chick's back then - what the hell did I know? I would hope and think that I do know better now, that's all :) Let me see if I follow you then. You can remember a time when you were younger where it seemed alright to call females birds or chicks. Then you realised that you were gay and it then seemed like a juvinile thing from the past. Well, it would do I suppose. |
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.. personally I haven't had a bad first date yet.. it starts . going off the tracks around the 5th date.. they start getting all needy..lol.. time for another first date...lol
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AHHHH!! the 5th. date syndrome, not unlike the 7 year itch ;)
.. personally I haven't had a bad first date yet.. it starts . going off the tracks around the 5th date.. they start getting all needy..lol.. time for another first date...lol |
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.....The only problem with them is that they already know what I'm like..... This here confuses me quite a bit, I would think this was a good thing and not a problem, the only reason I would see this as a problem would mean on first dates you are trying to present yourself as something that you're not, so that means that you can't pretend with them? Am i the only one who finds that statement weird? |
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.....The only problem with them is that they already know what I'm like..... This here confuses me quite a bit, I would think this was a good thing and not a problem, the only reason I would see this as a problem would mean on first dates you are trying to present yourself as something that you're not, so that means that you can't pretend with them? Am i the only one who finds that statement weird? I see it as (a) Either they are not interested in him or (b) He is not interested in them Either way not romantically seeing each but seeing each as friends. No spark. |
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