No, that's not it. I mean that I'm not very reserved and when I first meet people, they maybe find me a bit too forward or outspoken or open or whatever but maybe if I actually get a chance to see them on other ocasions they feel more comfortable about it and maybe even see it as part of my charm. What I think that I'm saying is that that's possible with friends and aquaintances but not so likely to happen with the internet dating because these women do go on first impressions and instant chemistry. Well, like I said, not so likely to happen if I'm trying to get more than just my leg over.

Being able to interact effectively with others is a necessary social skill not only in a workplace but also in your own intellectual, emotional and spiritual self. Being so judgmental and opinionated also reflects poorly on your view and tolerance of others and diminishes yourself and others unnecessarily...

Imagine women being needy as though that were a bad thing perhaps your fear of intimacy might be worth owning and perhaps changing just a thought....

It's not as complicated a social statement as you appear to allude, Tawt. Shut off your powers of the mind for a moment, and try reading between the lines before unleashing a nuclear arsenal of self hypnosis about the situation.

Most people in developed nations don't even self govern day to day, plain statistics from crime to commercial marketing clearly demonstrate this. We're in a position to be simply led by the nose and run on autopilot, just do what the law and media tell you and you're a terrific american.

Really, most people just go about their business, especially personal/social business on autopilot and whimsy.
Okay so then what we're cultured to do is rationalize animist response to make it humanist. This is what reading between the lines is about.

What I'm saying is that the woman you went on this first date with, she just didn't like you. Her (somewhat limited) rationalization was that she didn't like scotsmen very much.
Her point, is that she wasn't interested in you upon meeting. Doesn't really matter why or what the claim is. It's whimsy anyway and from someone who clearly doesn't self govern.

Kind of prohibits compatability coming out of the gate, no?
My point is that were you to level your powers (sic) toward becoming the ultimate gigalo at best you could only achieve some nookie with someone you'll quickly find annoying for her personality and mind, someone who doesn't think before she acts unless forced to do so, someone whom dismisses others out of hand, someone pretentious and ignorant, for her age, grossly unevolved. You'd wind up the abusive part of an abusive relationship towards, always disappointed with who she is as a person, things like that hurt people.

In other words my point is that you're the one screening the women you date, and you're doing it intentionally, but you don't seem to keep in conscious memory that you're doing this. You should, so you can self govern it.
Some women you'll intentionally discourage within the first moments of meeting, before you can even catch it consciously, some of them might be accidentally misrepresenting too, and you might be sending the wrong body language too soon for that one.
But once you've laid out that body language, women just react without being conscious of it.

Most of the time when women say they're not interested, they mean by your body language you don't look sincerely interested, and that's what they're not interested in. Even if you stand there saying you're interested, it contradicts what they see with their eyes and that can start to intimidate them.

So watch yourself before assessing the response of another towards you, because it's not conducted within a closed system and a neutral environment. You're the influence.

:) well put!

That is strange. She knew what you looked like before she met you and no doubt you two sent lots of messages to each other. So why did she change her mind? I think it's the setting. Dating is way too formal. Best to meet up for an intimate encounter. That's the best way to get to know each other.

With the hat on or off

Funkyfranky. I'll leave that for you to decide. I reckon you're the kind of girl that likes to be in control.

You're right there

I thought so. It just so happens I like to be controlled... sometimes. I'm in Kent.

I'm glad, that makes you about 350 Km or so away from me, which is far enough

That wasn't very nice. It's alright I know you didn't mean it.

Oh I am sorry, my last comment must have given you the wrong impression, next time I'll make it perfectly clear

It takes all sorts. Some people like a guy that is a bit opinionated and despite what you may think, I did my best to make conversation with the woman and show an interest in what she had to say. She was the one being judgmental and opinionated on the date. One of the things that I asked her was what she was looking for and she said something about empathy and I talked to her about how I also think that communication is important. She apparently decided that she had no empathy with me and that was basically it. I was feeling that too but what you are failing to acknowledge is that I have said more than once in this thread that I think that it's the women making those judgments on first impressions and not me. I go back again to those girls that I've known for years and chatted with at that party. It was a chance for me to get to know them better and for them to get to know me better. We might not have warmed to each other so much in the past and we might have had negative opinions about each other.

At the end of the day though, I have qualities that some people like more than others. I was at another party this weekend and my social skills were good enough there and I may come away from these things with opinions about people and they might have had a few opinions about me because that's what getting to know people is about.

I have no idea what you mean by that. Where have I said anything about having a fear of intimacy?

the only crap dates I have had are the ones where the guy lies, straight out the gate!

I'm 6 ft- reality 5'7
I'm 46 yrs- reality 54yrs
I'm 190lbs- reality 245lbs


Who the hell am I on a date with?? He went from Channing Tatum to
Gilbert Gottfried within a 10 min meeting!!!

Damn.. I hate onlne dating