To be frank, I'm not really sure it's anyone else's business when or why a couple decides to call it quits. It's a very difficult thing to live with another person, and if one person isn't happy, guaranteed the other isn't either. We are all adults and are capable of deciding how long we wish to keep trying, and it's nobody else's business how long one chooses to "endure" their marriage.

I'm sorry, I think my response is a little "in your face" so to speak, but I get annoyed with moralistic assumptions about a person leaving. It's a personal thing between two people, and the minute you try to impose a set of rules on what conditions must be met for people to separate, you've infringed upon my freedom and my privacy.

I don't know. I think people throw in the towel early, Heck, I been one of them, so I can speak on the matter. People have developed a false and glamorized idea of marriage. People throw around cliche expressions like "perfect match" and "soul mate". We think the ideal mate sweeps you off your feet and every day is a romantic, thrill filled, exotic experience. Every convenience and technological device participates in this instant gratification mindset. And you find your self thinking one day, "what am I getting out of this?" When the answer doesn't suit, you start thinking there has to be somebody that will give you the life you deserve. So you move on. It seems like you made a great choice because the first several months of any new relationship IS a romantic, thrill filled, exotic experience. But when it comes down to the nitty gritty of everyday life, well, that old cycle repeats itself. We have resigned ourselves to the insanity of performing the same process expecting a different result. I am no one's perfect match and no one is mine. While we may find ourselves to be kindred in spirit, I am no one's "soul mate" and no one is mine. That is built over time with teeter tottering effort from both.

And before I get blasted with rhetoric about infidelity, reread this for content. I agree it occurs and shouldn't. Abuse is not love and shouldn't be tolerated or endured. However, if marriage is not about a life long commitment to EACH OTHER, why bother with the charade in the first place?

I agree with this

Regular you are right I agreed with you.some have married up 4 times and was cheated on four times yet they are still looking for a perfect match that will never cheat or offend .very funny senerio is there no room for mistake sometimes love and patience can make someone better.if a man or woman continue to cheat you may leave but if he or mistakenly cheat try and forgive sometimes.

How can a person "mistakenly cheat"?

Adultery is a deliberate act, and and nothing requires the spouse of an adulterer to stay married to the adulterer. As I pointed out earlier, even Jesus said that it is acceptable to divorce an adulterous spouse.

It makes no sense to say, "A person should remain with an adulterous spouse."

in this day and age too, I really feel like sexual choices are a loaded gun, they LITERALLY can become a death sentence, so I take them more seriously than I did in my youthful fearlessness

someone cheating, is like someone pulling a trigger on a gun pointed at me,,,perhaps there wasn't a bullet in the chamber

and I may have the resolve to TRUST enough that they will not pull the trigger again, or there wont be a bullet when they do,

but I don't think it would be unreasonable for me not to take the chance again,,,

in my forties, I have sexual self control and expect it of a partner ,,,its not negotiable ,, it can be a forgivable 'mistake', but not one there will be a second chance to repeat with me,,

Dodo I agreed with you cheating is a deliberate act.but assuming that you have married 4 women before. All cheated on you and among the four one cheated only ounces and she so sorry and know that she love and care for you will you still divorce her. After all what makes feel that the fifth woman will still cheat on you? Anyway is free world do as you can

Well said! Perfectly said!

Thank you for offering that Tanya. I agree.

they both should be enjoying life together, or helping the other to do so. No one is going to guarantee that marriage is always fun, but it certainly should be some of the time. The rest of the time involves contentment, commitment and responsibility for each other. Money is the biggest cause of strife (not cheating, the last time I read up on the stats) but if both partners are contributing financially those issues should be resolvable.

If one partner is at home full time with children, and the couple can afford that...well you can't put a price tag on a full time homemaker/parent regardless of whether it's the mom or the dad. even so, the "at home" parent should prepare to re enter the work force at some point to contribute. this is just my opinion...how I see things...based on my own observations.

agreed, and in my own response I meant to also say that marriage should not have to be "endured."

Beautiful thought!

I think USA should study & follow indian family /marriage system.

well said...life has changed over the decades since our youth....sex did used to be terminal (potentially). Even without that threat tho' I still see an "emotional" "pointed gun" regarding sexual/emotional infidelity

Thanks and all the best to you!