Well JOHN, If your wodering if there are TRUE and NICE women here,,,,,YES,,,I have met in real life some ladies here and THEY were JUST WHAT THEY ARE HERE,,,so DATES CAN AND DO happen here...

Maybe it's just me and maybe I am really that ugly duckly who no body want's to speak to or whatever it might be.

I'm not lookin to jump in bed with some one lol if I wanted that I would pay a hooker but that wouldn't be for me any way's probably couldn't affored that so nope.

I'm looking for good friends that might turn into something more long term.

But I guess I'll always be looking.

John -- I was on a pay site for 3 months last year, and I was contacted by 174 of their members in that time, mostly from my area; and almost all were completely unsuitable. It was clear that they hadn't even read all the way through my profile, in many cases. Some were pushy from the first e-mails they sent me, asking me to meet them at local bars, giving me phone numbers, etc.

So, I guess I could say that it would have been easier to get a "date" on that site than it would be to get one here.

On the other hand, that site did not have forums, so all you knew about their members was whatever was in their profile (and most of them might as well have come out of "Dating Site Profiles for Dummies" -- they were all so generic and dull, and told me little to nothing about the people other than that they could parrot phrases like "No game players") -- and whatever they chose to include in their e-mails.

I let the paid account lapse in May of 2006, never deleted it, it's still technically up as a free membership (meaning I can't do anything there, really, other than receive flirts and the occasional note from currently-paying members), and I still average one or two contacts there a day.

But that site really has NO options (forums) for people to get to know each other, therefore, there is really no opportunity to make friends there. It's sort of an all-or-nothing deal -- either you're going to FIND a date or you'll leave because there just isn't anything else on that site. They have nothing else to offer.

So I think, in the end, it's a trade-off -- JSH gives you the opportunity to get to know people in a way that simply isn't possible on the other site. Maybe that somehow creates an environment which is more conducive to friends. Maybe people feel less pigeonholed here. Maybe people just feel "friendlier" here because this isn't a site designed strictly for sex and the intimate encounter.

I don't think it really boils down to "free vs. paid," necessarily. I think it's more related to what options the site offers, plus the overall quality of the people.

There is another consideration. I have read that certain pay sites would prefer that their members NOT find anyone too easily -- the longer they maintain their memberships, the more money they are paying out to the sites. I have heard stories that when a member stops using the pay site as much, some sites will have their own employees, pretending to be interested dating prospects, e-mail the members as a way of ensuring they don't leave and cancel their memberships.

Obviously, the money angle doesn't enter into the philosophy of a free site.

My own experience is that a pay site would be fine if I was simply looking for "a date," without any consideration of who or what it was I was dating. But I have seen damn few "real people" on those sites.

This site is full of real people, and there are many I am happy to call my friends. But I no longer think of JSH as a dating site (despite the fact that it's nominally so defined), because it is clear that the locals here simply are not interested. And that's fine, it gives me more material to work with in these posts....!!

I had a profile on yahoo personals and there were some nice men online, but they were all far away so I never met any of them...I did meet four guys from that site,
who lived nearby and they were all players,
with not an ounce of class or integrity ...
not an honest bone in their body.....


I have met some very real, honest, outstanding, high-caliber people on this website...I think 'Just say Hi" puts every other site that I have seen to absolute shame....

The other sites are so clinical and boring....

too many stupid rules and the people who run those sites have wayyyyy too much involvement in what pictures you post
or what you say or what your heading is...
I have found yahoo personals to be the worst...

i agree with Lex-- i do not consider this a dating site
i have GREAT friends

you know.....I know you want a gf but if you just relax.......go with the flow......quit being so impatient and just see what happens. The best relationships start out as friends.

Im not at all worried about it here.......if it happens, it happens!!!

This site is a friendly dating place to hang out,,,lol,,,lol
And meet friends and MAYBE find a date,,
But through FRIENDSHIP is to progress to a "DATE" to me anyway...

I get what every body has said and all. So it's not like I don't even know what this site offers or is all about etc.

Gypsy41, I am not in a rush or being inpatient as you call it to find a girlfriend etc, I am fine with taking my time but on the other side of things it would be nice if I would find that friend first and go from there.

But on the way other side of things most all women want is just to be friends and when you are there friends they don't want noting more and noting less from what I have heard from others etc.

So it kinda makes me wonder why even bother, almost better off being single because of the fact every body rather be friends and noting more and noting less.

Not that there is anything wrong with that but I never been in a relation or gone to a bar or any where out side my comfort zone so to speak and ask any body out etc, so I've been single all my life where as every body on here seemly has kids and are getting ready to sign papers so they can break a part from there man or woman etc.

So I'm just the single guy that will no doubt end up a lone, fine by me I guess if that is the way it goes.

I have been on several paid sites and never met anyone in person


this is free and I've met 3 wonderful friends in person and made a lot more online

I always meet friends online that's no problem. There just to far away and friends what really are they or could they be besides just there. Don't know any more.

Haven't met any one or any body. But that's just how it goes I guess.

I have been on a paid site last year and didn't meet anyone in the four months I was on there who wanted more than one or two e-mails. They didn't want to get to know anyone off of the site.

I have been on JSH since April and have spoken to some fantastic people on here that I consider friends. I don't give that title to just anyone, a friend to me has almost to earn it, show they are here for me in more ways than one. I have spoken with some on the phone and have exchanged e-mail addresses with quite a few, and met some in person and I wouldn't trade them for anything.

As far as this being a dating site----hell yeah!! I have met a wonderful man, TheCaptain, on here and for the first time in my life, would really consider moving out of NY state. We were friends first and one day realized that we looked forward to talking to each other more and more and have so much in common. So even though I am in NY and he is in Idaho, love can happen if you are willing to really let it.

Good luck and don't give up!!

JOhns.....you say you are not impatient etc but everytime I see you post you whine about this and its getting kind of old....

I will not pay for anything- that I can get free!
I think this site rocks!

Gypsy41, that's your opinion and your intitled to it.

I don't see it as wining or complainting etc.

I see it as asking a simple question and wondering others points of views and responding etc.

I don't know how that is wining other then that is your take on this.

John, over the past 9 months I have come to understand some things about these sites in general.

Not every site is going to work for every member. And some people are just harder to match, for whatever reason. Hey, the one site, run by the religious nut with the really scary-looking people on the commercial, classified me as "unmatchable"!

Which, apparently, has been confirmed here, as well!

Now, I will mention Eileen, one of my favorite people here, as an example of someone who this site has worked for. I mean, it can happen. There are variables, there is probably a certain amount of luck (if you believe in luck -- I personally see it as a matter of likelihoods involving a range of non-zero possibilities), there is timing, etc.

And, then, it also depends on what you want, what you're looking for. Hey, I have come to the realization that the person I am looking for, simply is NOT on any dating site. I don't know why that's the case, but clearly it is, and all it means is I have to find another way to meet people, which is OK, and which I really need to be doing anyway.

I'm here because I have friends here, it's that simple.

Some of us ARE going to end up alone; and I'm not saying that's you, because I am certainly in no position to know. But it happens that way sometimes, and, like I keep telling people, I'd rather be alone than wind up with another wrong person again.

I have met 2 in person madr alot of friends on here of whom I hope to meet all before I die.

Paid sites are a joke and have a lot of Bots,people looking for sex(casual), people looking for you to pay to see them on a different site,garbage I tell ya JSH is the best I found so far.

I haven t met the one yet, but I'm hopeful.

This is the only site that I have tried. I do not think that paid sites would be any better.

So far, I have enjoyed meeting new people and hope to make some new friends. Of course I would like to meet that special someone to grow old with, but in reallity, until you meet someone and get to know them, you do not really know anything about them.

I understand what you are saying about some people living to far away. As for myself, I would consider anyone, regardless of where they live. Yes, someone miles and miles away would probably end up being just a friend, but you never know, people's jobs transfer every day. That person that is now miles away may end up moving to your area. After all, if it is meant to be, it will work out.

I have been on a couple paysites in the last year to try them out. A couple tailored to my personal beliefs/interests. What I found on them is no one, and I mean no one in the local area...250 miles ...would respond to anything. But the ones on the other side of the world were immediate and nice.met one person off those sites and she re-defined the word averag...lol. IMAO, this is the best one I have been on because I am looking first for friends, second to gain knowledge, and lastly for someone special, plus a few other stupid reasons...lol