I just tried to call you, why aint ya answerin?

oh sorry, going to go get phone now lol

Talking to ya now

I think generally people just jump into bed too quickly. I don't there is anything wrong with that...per say. I just think to have a meaningful long lasting realationship, means so much more than just....having SEX.

I agree with Lexfonteyne: "Some people have the misperception that "slow and deliberate" necessarily carries a connotation of "well-thought out."

If you've ever seen a sloth, you know this is not always the case.... """ Unquote.

Not all OLDER adults think the SAME way on this. Even SOME who say "Take it slow." would SPEED UP if they recognize, the PROSPECTIVE mate is a prize. Then it would be: "Do not waste no time!!"

Not because they ARE older means that they are SMARTER on EVERY ISSUE!! There are some older people, especially women, who are saying this 10yrs now, and DELIBERATELY resisting the progress, SLOWING it down to a near STOP until their prospect goes elsewhere. And they CALL that MATURE.

To some WOMEN, DELIBERATELY s l o w i n g it down means seeing the other person twice a week for 2 hours, While speeding up in accepting all jewelry and OTHER MATERIAL gifts WITHOUT SHAME. They tell him: "Take it slow" when it comes to sex while they having sex with somebody else.

To some,they want a man from YESTERDAY. Money or not. And they will use every OPPORTUNITY, with their experience,to SEEK OUT a GOOD MAN QUICK, to be with him as OFTEN AS THEY CAN.

So being with prospective mate 2hrs a day, twice a week for 6 months thinking you are bright, calling it taking it slow, WILL yield MUCH LESS info than seeing each other 8hrs a day for one month. But it is NECESSARY TO know the person well b4 you go to some deeper stage? AND IT IS THE MORE YOU CORRESPOND WITH A PERSON, YOU GET TO KNOW ABOUT THEM.

So that what some call: "Take it slow and you will get to know the person better is BS. And they call themselves mature.

To begin with, inreply to grievings thoughts: here are mine:

If a woman is accepting gifts from a man, and they have not reached the point in their relationship where they are intimate: run away fast, do not continue to give gifts, because this is what we older people call a "gold digger"

If a woman is limiting the time she spends with you:
again, run away fast. she is not serious.

If a woman says she wants to hold off being intimate as in actual sex, but she hugs and kisses you, holds your hand and gazes into your eyes when you are conversing: stay, this one is a keeper.

Delaying sex for awhile is a good choice, as long as you both feel attraction and all the rest is there, because you need to get to know the person. Most of us are no longer in High School where we need to show off our sexual prowess! Maturity is knowing that you can please the other person and not be required to prove it.

Well I agree with EVERYTHING Hotandspicey just said. And I am NOT looking for ANY prize.
Before sex, study what you are doing BECAUSE after sex you are STUCK AND SHOULD stay with your decision.
So most of the time spent BEFORE SEX is to find out IF you two ARE compatable.
With me, WHEN I find out that, I CANNOT wait anymore to get at the bulleye to mash it up with an iron bolt erection!! And usually, the woman with be MORE in a hurry then, than I am.

There is a time for example, a woman might be withholding sex, but she ALWAYS WANT to correspond with you.
I know that she is trying to find out IF she can TRUST ME and we are agreeable to each other.
That woman is not thinking 'one night stance. She is thinking 'till death do us part.

She might not know it, but I will be thinking the SAME thing.
Believe it or not, but there are some women who WANTS to have sex the SAME TIME they first meet you, just like some men. They do not EVEN KNOW or can remember your name. They are not looking for any life partner but then it is not IMPOSSIBLE that a woman could WANT SEX THE FIRST TIME and not be SERIOUS. IF SHE KNOWS NOTHING about promuiscuity, and she is a widow who was with her husband since after a hurry sex with a good man 15yrs ago, SHE might TAKE a next chance even though she is 48yrs old.

This MATURE woman gave me a story. Feeling lonely, having no man for a while looking sad, sad, she went drinking in a pub. Met this man with wife being ABROAD problems. They had sex the SAME night and moved in together soon after. Together for years. SHE WAS LUCKY. lAST TIME I checked, about 4 yrs ago, THEY WERE STILL TOGETHER, getting better and better.

Being vacant at one time, I sought to be with this woman. She gone TRYING to get my files. Different women in the 'village' told her: "That man! He is a GOOD MAN! a PRIZE." (I DID NOT KNOW SHE WASN'T.) "DON'T WASTE NOT TIME! SNATCH HIM QUICK!"

Thirsty for a woman's touch and hugs, like if I am dying, I RUSHED INTO the relationship based on she saying she is a good woman. Well it was like if the DEVIL open fire on me. I was not so lucky like the above example.

The better thing is like what Hotandspicey said considering all what I just said.

ORRECTION?!!
"but then it is not IMPOSSIBLE that a woman could WANT SEX THE FIRST TIME and BE SERIOUS. IF SHE KNOWS NOTHING about promuiscuity, and she is a widow who was with her husband since after a hurry sex with a good man 15yrs ago, SHE might TAKE a next chance even though she is 48yrs old.

Being yourself alone is easy but to be yourself with a partner can be different because the possibility exists that they might be more different from than you might ever imagine. If you believe in reincarnation I wouldn't be in such a hurry. There are plenty of other lifetimes to come for you to have to rush it and make a bad decision that might affect other karmatic ripple fates in your upcoming lifetimes. It is hard enough to keep from making mistakes in one lifetime. Just think of all them upcoming lifetimes that you will be effecting. Just relax and go with the flow. Life is stream that leads to a creek that leads to a river that leads to an ocean that just evaporates sometimes into the clouds and just floats in the atmosphere till it rains and the process starts all over again.