Experience and perspective are of course everything.

At a certain age frame I would think some women might appear rather incompetent to some men because they have not been allowed to concentrate on career, financial independence, and are saddled with tasks that are not particularly all that glamourous and children in an age frame where they pretty much defy co-operation. Especially if they have come out of an environment where family life has little or no support and career life has a fully structured job description and order where what makes one successful is clearly attainable and where anyone who is not a team player is mustard out. Not like you can just boot a teething two year old the front door so you can clean the house and shave your legs to look sexy for your "provider". Especially if your social support system is several thousand miles away because you are moving around.

Those "wives" who remain behind look exceedingly incompetent not because they always chose to be abandoned financially but because the majority of ex-husbands can not or will not be able to send enough support to meet the needs. Joint custody while good in theory is usually a joke. Rarely do kids have equal but seperate shelters, and even when there is the stress of the what is at the other home is usually disruptive.

I can count the number of wage earners who really appreciate the magnitude of being primary home maker and parent of young children especially while being a low wage earner as a contribution, until they are stuck doing it for more than a month, in the one percentile.

Almost universally when forced into the situation or even volunteering, they fold like a house of cards and get on their knees begging for relief. Or simply manufacture a reason to leave and abandon the relationship entirely. Probably why so many newly seperated military members with exemplary careers or laid off mid-level professionals in other fields divorce, commit suicide, or at the very least drink or become very hostile. It is easier to blame the subservient partner than step up and help or change roles. Many can not remotely tolerate entry level low paying jobs where there is no structure or team development for them to thrive under or chance for advancement.

If every time a soldier had a kid he had a rank or two removed from his shoulder, which is what adding a child to a mother's work load does as far as her freedom and career advancement not to mention economic freedom there might be one kid but I doubt second third and more. Was amazing when the military stopped paying for birth expenses after the fifth child suddenly you didn't see larger families that often.

Since many, not all, military members, and the spouses they pick (who are often young many foreign born), come from less than optimum situations they start out behind the curve in skills and resources.

So yes it is possible the perception is that women, although disadvantaged by overlooked circumstances tend to be poor able to meet needs.

*thank you joe

and how many times did you give birth?

I don't know what that guy is thinking. Or what ladies he knows.

Bugs.
Make them go away!
We can't help being scared of them.
Men can pretend not to be :-)

i like bugs...


and monkeys too...

Lol isn't so

What do you mean ' you've never needed a woman for anything? ' What about your mum? You needed her to raise you, didn't you? Us guys all need a woman in our lives to some capacity? Even if they do deny it?

Damn, I am out of popcorn.

Matriarchy/Patriarchy are nothing more than lifestyles and ideals imbrued in the minds of the masses

religion is what created marriage right? and the men behind modern day marriage are the very people who ended matriarchy by making out women were whores if they weren't married and whatnot. the term "wife" originates from "veil".. which was essentially masking a woman's femininity and freedom by claiming ownership of them, you even have to get a certificate from the state to solidify your union

men ended matriarchy through dominance and power, women are putting an end to patriarchy with their sexuality (in particular man's lust with the vagina) - karma seems to be coming around full circle. especially in recent years, no one seems to even want to get married anymore, women in particular. many men are confused as to why they can't find a decent woman to marry and it all boils down to owning someone sexually even if you aren't aware of it

marriage doesn't work because of the false foundations it was built upon, and never will. we also think of 'mistress' as a woman on the side, when in the past a mistress was actually deemed as your equal, and that's all someone had to be. they were your consort

--

what I'm saying is that for too long women went without being equal, when in many ways they are far superior. the fact they only want to be equals is a testament to the way their minds work too

in conclusion: men need to evolve into something else entirely before we can be good for anything


or something

It's better to be wanted than needed...nothing lasts forever, so if you need a man or woman, you're always going to be disappointed.

very true...

thank you

That is the post of the night.

So true... so true

If you need companionship... get a pet.

They love you forever. Unlike people.

I like the way you think. I take my pet over 99% of the human population.

They need us for the same reasons we need them.Its all about the two involved, one may be better at something than the other but together they are stronger when their skills are combined. Personally I believe that women are a gift from God and they make life worth living. There's nothing better than a sweet woman to be with at the end of the day.

While distracted by some of the posts I would like to address what I would see a male/mate good for.

Granted I am fairly independent, social, even proved to be capable as a single parent on most levels. With the rather shocking trend that mature women are still considered sexually attractive to both healthy young men and age appropriate men I see no issue there if I chose to pursue it.

But what I am looking for is the special nuances that only someone who wants and integrated relationship with someone that has that opposite gender view has. It is not about seeing the man as a piece of "meat", a "wallet", or a "bug crusher" but as a equal who is keenly intimate and compatible on all levels.

It is like looking at your right and left hand. They are generally very similiar in most ways and easily fit together and work in tandem. There is balance and minimal competition for which hand is used for what. It takes both hands to do most tasks efficently and smoothly and and being able to work together fatigue is halved and affection amplified.

A good relationship/marriage is not just two hands fitting together but four.

Not always are men's hands and women's hands blessed with the identical talents and momentum. But all things in life (relationships /marriage) do we need that for breadth and depth of what would make a partnership the ideal? I don't think so.

While I resist trying to define the "gender" differences in men and women as the sole reason relationships succeed (or fail) I do think that most couples that do work out do bring differences to the table and that is why they enrich both lives.

Example if you put two type A personalities together they will grind each other down to the ground over the years but if you put two personality types that tend to balance and compliment each other you have a harmony of lifestyles.

When I live with a well chosen mate I find we are a positive influence on each other. I like the perspective that the kind of man I am attracted to has. And he thrives in the one I have. Part of it is balance but a lot of it is appreciation for making each other safer, stronger, more comfortable, and feeling needed by someone who likes them and desires them to feel complete.